Wednesday, December 5, 2007

TNA Turning Point 2007

TNA closes out their pay-per-view year with the 500th recorded reunion of the Outsiders. Why am I not convinced of it being a good idea?

From where else but Orlando, Florida ... your hosts are Tenay and West ... as usual.

1) Team 3-D & Johnny Devine vs. Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, & Jay Lethal - Tables Match - 3
This started off okay with Team 3-D running down everyone in the arena and on pay-per-view. Bubba looks like a bloated fish and D-Von looks so roided that he can't bend over to wipe. I just couldn't get excited about this mainly because we've seen 3-D in these matches over and over and over. It's starting to become a nasty habit. TNA production sucks because they missed a ton of stuff, most notably a dive to the outside that was missed by the first camera and had D-Von's shoulder blocking the view of the other. The finish was lame with Devine going through a table and then 3-D putting Devine on top of Lethal on the broken table after a ref bump. Ref calls it in favor of 3-D. Decent bout but the stupid finish cost it a point.

2) Roxxi Laveaux & ODB vs. Angelina Love & Velvet Sky - 1
The crowd reaction to ODB was about as big as her funbags. This was all comedy and I wasn't laughing. Love tags in near the end and cleans house. She looked the most competent of any of them. Velvet Sky looked terrible and her ring attire and entrance are blatant rips on Stacy Kiebler. Love and Sky score the upset win. Yawn.

3) James Storm vs. Eric Young - 3
This went a little too long for my tastes. Jackie wouldn't let Storm have any beer until after the match with apparently puts Young at the advantage. Storm takes a nice bump on the ramp. They keep it pretty simple and mainly worked armlocks and rest holds. The finish saw Storm chug a beer for courage and then Jackie standing on the apron for the finish spot in which she inadvertenly spit beer in Storm's face. A pretty standard match with no one really putting on a standout performance

4) 14-Man Feast or Fired Battle Royal w/ Senshi, Christopher Daniels, Elix Skipper, Sonjay Dutt, Shark Boy, Lance Hoyt, Jimmy Rave, Petey Williams, Chris Harris, Voodoo Kin Mafia, LAX, & Scott Steiner - 3
The object of this brilliant brainfart is to climb a pole and grab a briefcase that is atop the pole and then climb back down to the floor with said briefcase. The briefcase will contain either a shot at one of the three titles or a pink slip. Kip James looked like a peppermint bitch and I was so hoping that either Scott Steiner or Senshi would beat the queer out of him. People were getting thrown out of the ring left and right but they don't get eliminated. That's dumb. Those who grabbed cases were Steiner, B.G. James, Petey, and Senshi. And who got what? We don't know because we were told to watch Impact for the payoff. What an abortion. The worst part? This ran 22 minutes.

5) Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong - 5
This is the best match of the night. Kim was bumping her ass off and making Kong look like a legitimate monster. Kong was no-selling Kim's offense. The crowd is hot! Kong was throwing stiff clotheslines and Kim couldn't knock her down. Three dropkicks from the top rope finally knock down Kong and hits a fabulous senton. Kong beats down Kim in the corner and throws the referee aside for a DQ finish. Fantastic match but the finish cost it a point. Afterwards, Kong continues to beat down Kim. Velvet Sky and Angelina Love run-in and get destroyed. Kong powerbombs Kim on a chair and surveys the damage.

6) Abyss & Raven vs. Black Reign & Rellik - 10,000 Thumbtacks Match - 3
Raven is a last minute replacement for Rhino. This was a bloodbath. There are four beds of tacks laying around the ring and also a bag of tacks on a pole. What is it with TNA and putting crap on poles tonight? I wonder if there are actually 10,000 tacks. Wouldn't you hate to be the guy who had to count all those? This was the standard TNA arena brawl with tables and crap. Reign takes a bump through a table with a bed of tacks on it. Rellik actually looked the best out of everyone in the match. Abyss slammed Rellik on a pile of tacks for the win. Another near fifteen minute match.

7) Booker T & Kazarian vs. Christian Cage & Robert Roode - 4
Kaz works the first half of the match mostly by himself and gets beat down by Cage and Roode. This feels like an Impact main event. Kaz hit a nice springboard, though. Booker doesn't get involved until the last five minutes. He pretty much destroys Christian and Roode and then gets the pin. The match was pretty much a paint-by-numbers thing and very, very long for a match so simplistic. I can't even think of one outstanding thing that happened that I didn't have to look up.

8) Kurt Angle, A.J. Styles, & Tomko vs. Samoa Joe, Kevin Nash, & Eric Young - 4
Joe cut a pretty controversial shoot promo before the match started to explain Hall's absence and then introduce Young as the third man. A.J should never be allowed to have promo time ever again. He's got the same problem that Mike Awesome and Chyna had ... no, not drugs ... but, it's the fact that his voice doesn't really click with his look. I find it really hard to take A.J. seriously with that southern accent he has. I digress. The story on team Joe was that Joe would only tag in to Young because he was pissed at Nash. Young didn't really do much to get the fans interested, probably because he had fought James Storm earlier on. The only people in the whole match who seemed motivated were Nash and Joe. The finish saw Joe pin Tomko following a muscle buster. A dud of a main event to cap off an ever bigger dud of a show.


Brian said...

well, senshi asked for his release, so at least we can expect to see him popping back up in either NOAH or ROH in the near future and having actual good matches again..

Jessie said...

this sounds like a big old pile of Russo feces...i'm a gail kim fan though...sounds like she's doing some good eric young finally getting a push