Wednesday, March 22, 2006

WWE Survivor Series 2003

The Survivor Series is one of the big four of the year in the WWE. In it's heyday, it was one of the most unique and exciting shows there was. In recent years, though it's degraded down to just another no frills boring extravaganza of crap. Let's see how this one holds up.

Heat Match: Tajiri v. Jamie Knoble- 4- A short match, but one filled with effort.

1 Team Angle( Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, John Cena, Bradshaw, & Hardcore Holly) v. Team Lesnar( Brock Lesnar, Big Show, A-Train, Nathan Jones, & Matt Morgan)- Traditoinal Survivor Series Match- 6- This match was built around Team Lesnar which was the biggest team ever, even surpassing Andre the Giant's team at the first SS. I think they should have calculated the brain power of Team Lesnar and compared it to President's Cabinet; I think you would find a stalemate. There were 3 quick eliminations, I'm talking the first 90 seconds, but there were all people you didn't want to see anyways. Angle got a hot tag and tore through Morgan & Jones, then was quickly pinned by Lesnar. Surprising. Benoit then made Lesnar tap out, and he and Cena went on to pin Show. This match had some surprise eliminations, which makes things exciting because it's different, a word I don't think shows up in the Mc Mahon vocab too often.
2 Lita v. Molly Holly- 2- Lita's offense looked comparable to Napoleon Dynamite trying to tackle Jerome Bettis. Molly tried to keep it together, and her only means of escape was to go for the finish early. I'm sure she'd rather eat stale carrots on the Kraft Service table than bump for Lita.
3 Kane v. Shane McMahon( Ambulance Match)- 3- This runaway train of bad encounters started with Kane being completely dropped on his head by taking a clothesline over the top. It was crazy. The only other highlight was Shane ramming the ambulance door into Kane's head stiff! We watched it several times. Some of the lowlights: Shane running around the arena like Bugs Bunny running from Elmer Fudd, then leading Kane to the garage where Shane backed a Jeep Cherokee into Kane, who busted through what appeared to be a glass bus station waiting thing. I don't think Ultimate Warrior could have written a more confusing scene. Overall, it was horribly planned and horribly executed.
4 Basham Brothers v. Los Guerreros- 5- A good tag match, although shorter than I would have hoped. The Bashams needed some experience, and the Guerreros were the right team to help them. I didn't like the finish at all, and Shaniqua grossed me out totally.

5 Stone Cold's Team( Shawn Michaels, Booker T, RVD, & The Dudley Boyz) v. Eric Bishchoff's Team( Chris Jericho, Christian, Randy Orton, Scott Steiner, & Mark Henry) ( Traditional Survivor Series Match)- 6- Another really good match that is what this show was founded upon. Great blade job by Michaels and they really pumped his comeback at the end, but the whole Austin chasing Bischoff away was sort of silly and left Austin looking like a fool when he came back to the ring. Not too much of a surprise here, and no one looked out of place.
6 Undertaker v. Vince McMahon( Buried Alive Match)- 3- The blood was flowing in this one! Vince bladed deep after the first punch in the match, and then was beaten from pillar to post as they say (they meaning the great Gorilla Monsoon). I wondered if this was Taker's way of getting all his frustrations out on Vince for anything he had ever done to him because he just beat his ass any which way he wanted for like ten minutes. I felt really bad watching it. Even the crowd had no reaction; it's like when you watch your best friend go up to a really hot chick and get shut down so coldly; there are no words for it, but the pity is definitely there. There was a Kane run in and Vince won but he looked like anything but a winner. The match wasn't really a match though, so it can't be rated too highly.
7 Goldberg v. HHH- 4- HHH really faked me out. I was ready to rate this one even lower, but he worked Goldberg's knee and ol' Billy Boy actually was selling it! They went safe with this one, with the big Goldberg comeback at the end, beating up all of Evolution. But one thing I don't get is why don't they swing that frickin' sledgehammer for the hills when they use it? I mean you're outnumbered 4 to 1 and you palm the metal part and hit them all in the gut? What is that? Anyways, not too awfully horrible.
So, overall, I enjoyed watching the show, and it had a lot of ups and downs. Probably one of the best in the last six or seven years.

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