WWE Heat 07/31/05

1 Rob "Con"Way v. Rosey- These two look like total buffoons, well, you can add Stacy Keibler to that list, Conway attempted an elbow off the apron, bad, has he ever seen Foley do it? If he had, he should have just walked to the back after his attempt, Rosey looks like a fat Blankman, everything in this is half-assed- 2

2 Johnny Parisi v. Matt Machesney- this jobber is wet beyond the ears, I see water dripping to the mat, Parisi's head size dominates everything I can see in the ring, looks like a training school drill, basic bumps, the finish was a DDT from one knee, Huh?- 1

3 Rene Dupree v. Hurricane- Dupree looks like Ming from Flash Gordon, he landed some stiff strikes, less than a minute in and he locks on a chinlock, looks more like a sleeping bear laying on a fresh kill, Dupree tributes Bulldog and falls on his neck in the corner, he had less mobility than Bulldog does right now, Hurricane sold big for the finish, but this match had no sizzle- 2

Random Matches
1 Wrestlemania 21 Battle Royal- no memorable eliminations and it looked more like a Road Rules/ Real World Challenge with those t-shirts on, pretty poor- 2

Brock Lesnar – Here Comes the Pain DVD – Extras

1. Brock Lesnar vs. Hulk Hogan (Smackdown! 08/06/02) – 6
2. Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show (Smackdown! 06/12/03) – 4

Both of these are from the Brock DVD, which also included a handful of other misc. matches. The Hogan one is memorable in that Brock essentially beat Hogan with a bearhug. Outside of that historical moment, Hogan’s punches looked weaker than our nation’s economy and he should have been in bed. The match with Big Show stunk, too, and was memorable only for the finish where they did a superplex from the buckles that “broke” the entire ring forcing it to collapse. Hooray for sports entertainment.

ECW Anarchy Rulz 1999

Joey and Cyrus are in the ring. Cyrus says they’ll have some “intellectual intercourse”. That’s probably one of the greatest lines ever.

1) Lance Storm vs. Jerry Lynn - 7
You want great scientific wrestling? Look no further than this match. This match has it all, high-flying, mat wrestling, and a little brawling. This was a great way to kick off a pay-per-view event. Lynn sells the bruised ribs tremendously and Lance Storm demonstrates his athleticism. I think this match ran long, however, because Storm won it with a three-quarter stack, for all you amateur wrestlers out there. It set the trend for the entire show. An amazing match between two amazing techinical wrestlers who were severely under-utilized by the other organizations. Actually to be fair, Storm got a decent push but Lynn got nothing but the shit stick.

2) Simon Diamond & Tony DeVito vs. Chris Chetti & Nova - 1
Not much to say here. Somewhere in this foray was a match that involved Simon Diamond and DeVito vs. Chetti and Nova. Chetti hurts his knee when he slips on DeVito’s t-shirt while trying a running moonsault. DeVito totally botches a urinache. Roadkill, Doring and a whole host of others come in and start fighting each other. New Jack comes in and cleans house with his weapons. Was this even actually a match? Or was it just some lame-ass segment. For some reason, I find joy when New Jack just beats the living crap out of people even though he can’t actually wrestle worth a shit.

3) Three Way Dance: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido vs. Super Crazy - 6
Even though this match has been done to death, it’s still fun to watch because it highlighted the three best cruiserweights in ECW at the time. Everything meshes really well here and it provides a welcome change from the previous … um … thing. As you can tell, this was elimination style, which was a trademark in ECW three-ways. This was simply the best cruiserweight action you could find … anywhere. Great ring action and insane high-flying moves. Once again, a great match by three guys who were turned into nothing but glorified crap by WWE.

4) Justin Credible vs. Sabu - 5
A great hardcore brawl between these two guys. Insane spots such as Justin Credible going backwards through a table highlight the match. This match is laden with interference by Jason Knight, who was more of a manager than a wrestler. In was is viewed as a major upset, Credible defeated Sabu with his version of the Tombstone piledriver. Not quite as scientific as the opener and the three-way but a pretty good match for what it’s worth. Justin Credible was another guy who was turned into crap by WWE. Some of you may be noticing a trend here.

5) Taz vs. Masato Tanaka vs. Mike Awesome - 6
They promoted this match as Tanaka vs. Taz, however, Taz spotted Awesome in the crowd and invited him into the match. It was a nice touch and added to the match when Awesome won because Styles cried foul because he wasn’t advertised. Anyway, this was Taz’s swan song in ECW. Everyone knew he was going to sign with the WWF but the problem was he was the ECW World champion. He did the gracious thing and bowed out of the match first to let Awesome and Tanaka kill each other over the title (completely the opposite of what Awesome did in April 2000 by jumping to WCW while still holding the ECW Title, that’s a different story though). Hardcore mayhem ensued and Awesome was crowned victorious and the new champ. Taz’s rant before the match even starts is great stuff. The touch where Awesome comes in, unadvertised, and wins the belt was good too. For the record, Awesome vs. Tanaka is pure hardcore bliss and they would have a pretty brutal match at November to Remember 99.

6) Tommy Dreamer & Raven vs. Steve Corino & Jack Victory - 1
This started as Dreamer vs. Rhino and broke down into Corino and Victory vs. Dreamer & Raven. There wasn’t much to this one so there is no sense to go into great detail. Like I said, not much to it. Just a bunch of something happening that was supposedly a tag match. Kinda like earlier.

Axl Rotten comes out and talks smack about Mike Awesome and challenges him to a match. Lance Storm reappears and they fight. Another brawl ensues with a number of wrestlers including Jhonny Smith (no, that’s not a typo), Balls Mahoney, Spike Dudley, and others. The ring gets cleared and Axl calls for Rob Van Dam to fight Balls Mahoney. So we end up with …

7) Rob Van Dam vs. Balls Mahoney - 5
This was advertised as Rob Van Dam vs. Jhonny Smith but with Smith involved in the pre-match melee, we wind up with RVD vs. Balls Mahoney. It turns into a pretty decent match with RVD carrying most of the load since Balls isn’t that great of a worker. This marks the second pay-per-view in a row that RVD has main-evented. He sells the chair shots like crazy and gains the victory with the Five-Star Frogsplash. RVD continued to be ECW’s main draw until they went out of business in early 2001. Pretty standard match but for RVD fans it’s worth viewing

The two tag matches were nothing but garbage and brought down the show but most everything else is worth watching, especially the World Title match and Lynn/Storm. Recommended.

WWE Global Warning Tour – Melbourne – 08/10/02

1. Rikishi vs. Rico – Kiss My Ass Match – 2
2. Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane – 5
3. Lance Storm and Christian vs. Billy Kidman and Rey Mysterio – 5
4. Chris Jericho vs. Edge – 6
5. Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson – Bra and Panties Match – 3
6. Brock Lesner vs. The Rock vs. Triple H – 6

The foreign show isn’t a pay-per-view quality spectacle; it’s more akin to your typical TV fare. The main event was interesting, if not just for the array of talent involved. Most of the show was bland, though, albeit a hot Australian crowd. Edge and Jericho received the award for having the best wrestling match of the night, in an enjoyable encounter that I’d recommend viewing.

WWE Raw – 08/29/05

1. Big Show vs. Steve Madison and Buck Quartermane – Handicap Match – 3
2. Victoria vs. Ashley – 3
3. Edge vs. Matt Hardy – Street Fight – 5
4. Tyson Tomko vs. Rosey – 4
5. Chris Masters and Carlito vs. Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair – 6

I was awfully giving when rating this particular show. The opening squash was uninspired. The woman’s match deserved a lesser grade, but I find enjoyment in watching an untrained “diva” so obviously struggle. The street fight was okay, but the finish was a total joke. Matt executing a move on Edge off of the ramp onto a padded and protected set, but sold by the announcer’s as a deadly spot, even going as far as having the wrestlers visibly crying and carried off on stretchers. Tomko squashing Rosey was poor, but Tyson’s brutal big boot was a pleasing enough finish to grant its rank. The main event, essentially a handicap match, with Flair not showing up until the very end, was entertaining given the circumstances. Michaels played the role of the face in peril well, and the young guys didn’t look like total greenhorns.

WWE Raw - 09/12/05

1. Edge vs. Big Show – 1
2. Edge and Snitsky vs. Big Show and Matt Hardy – 4
3. Kerin White vs. Shelton Benjamin – 5
4. Ric Flair vs. Chris Masters – 6
5. Tajiri and Eugene vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch – 5
6. Kurt Angle and Tyson Tomko vs. John Cena – Handicap Match – 5

When a sixty year-old man (Flair) is having the best match on your big TV show, the young guys need to take that as a hint to step-up their game and deliver.

WWE Raw – 09/05/05

1. Eugene vs. Kurt Angle – 5
2. Heartthrobs vs. Viscera and Val Venis – 5
3. Matt Hardy vs. Snitsky – 3
4. John Cena vs. Tyson Tomko – 5
5. Torrie Wilson vs. Ashley – 1
6. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Conway – 4
7. Rosey and Hurricane vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch – 5