1. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma vs. Marcus Alexander Bagwell and 2 Cold Scorpio - 5
2. Shockmaster vs. Awesome Kong - 1
3. Lord Steven Regal vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat - 6
4. Cactus Jack and Maxx Payne vs. Tex Slazenger and Shanghai Pierce - 4
5. "Stunning" Steve Austin vs. "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes - Best 2 out of 3 Falls Match - 5
6. "Ravishing" Rick Rude vs. The Boss - 5
7. Sting and Road Warrior Hawk vs. The Nasty Boys - 4
8. Ric Flair vs. Vader - 9
When I was a kid, I like thousands of other youngsters, was a huge Hulk Hogan fan. But, in the early 90’s, as I got a little older, I started rooting for wrestling’s notorious villains. That being said, I was a big Ric Flair fan, as he surpassed Hogan as my personal favorite. So, when they announced that his career would be on the line in the main event of Starrcade ’93, you better believe I was sitting there watching intently, on pirated pay-per-view. Let’s see how that show holds up today, shall we?
The show starts with a good tag match, featuring the likeable good guys against the older, more cocksure veterans. Bagwell and Scorpio worked well together, utilizing a lot of their agility and speed. Orndorff’s best days were far behind him, and Roma’s sells were atrocious, as after being hit, he’d prance around like a flamingo or something. Still, this match had good energy, and was a fine opener.
Shockmaster and Awesome King lasted less than two minutes, and featured over 600 pounds of pure unadulterated manhood. Granted, nothing could have made this a good match, per se, but I’d like to have seen it get at least a few more minutes, so they could have at least attempted trying to tell a story. Regal and Steamboat was a clinic, however; a real joy to watch. It went to a time-limit draw, which happened all the time in Regal’s old title defenses, but was wrestled like an actual athletic competition and very compelling.
The following tag match featured four rugged men, all sporting beards and tubby waistlines, and was a bit of an eyesore to be honest. It was less of a brawl than I’d imagined, though; which isn’t exactly a good thing. Watching these guys try to work over body parts with actual wrestling holds is as surreal as stumbling upon a sibling’s homemade porno, not that I’d know what that’s like or anything.
Rhodes and Austin was good, but I’ll be damned, this is the third match between these two that I’ve watched in less than a month. They’re capable of better than this, too; the structure of this match was weak, and the performances not up to par with the rest of their series together. Seeing Rude and Boss (Ray Traylor, or Big Boss Man) work together was kind of interesting, not just because they’re both unfortunately dead now, but I couldn’t recall them ever doing many matches together. I’ve become a huge fan of Rude’s as of late, his knack for selling is great, and he utilizes psychology brilliantly. I wanted to honor The Boss, so I went to his gravesite where I planned on leaving a copy of this show and an old figurine of him in remembrance – only to find his ex-nemesis Nailz already there, on his knees masturbating on Traylor’s tombstone.
Sting and Hawk as a tag team is mind-blowing enough, but pitting them against The Nasty Boys is just asking for my brain to implode. This match was pretty lengthy, and I don’t know if it was just that I was watching this at 2:00AM, but I had a real hard time getting into this one. On paper, you’d expect one thing, but the end result wasn’t what I anticipated. I forget the finish, too; but I’m pretty sure it was something preposterous.
The main event is a classic match in my eyes. I realize the score is high, but it’s my score, and I believe it warrants the recognition. Sure, nostalgia has a lot to do with it, but to me when I was growing up, this match was equally as important as Hogan vs. Andre at WrestleMania III. It still holds up, too; Flair said in his book that Vader was punching him hard legit, and the evidence is clear on the video. This is a very physical match, and Vader’s just a pure monster, demolishing Flair. The Charlotte crowd is absolutely on fire, Vader’s the perfect bully, and Flair’s victory still exhilarates me every time I see it. This is arguably the greatest Starrcade main event ever.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Starrcade '87- Chi-Town Heat
Ah, tis the night as dreary as the flower's lowering gaze is the mediocre forearms of the Duke of Luger, and the stroll beneath the moonlight, with bated breath and heavy petting, the tonsils swishing about like Flouride in the mouths of Babydoll and Jimmy Jam, the way the moon fits it's perfect crescent inside the bald globe of AA, once the eyes have seen the wonder that is Flair, and we all cream jeans.
1 Freebirds/ Sting v. Eddie Gilbert/ Rick Steiner/ Larry Zybyzsko- 5
This match had me perplexed, as much as the graveyard scene from "Easy Rider." It had a pace, a face beatdown with all the heels getting in their very heely offense, then a massive Sting comeback, but then it keeps going?! But not anywhere important. PS Hayes gets himself over with a comeback too, like the kid in class who wanted a turn so desperately. Then, it never ends. We get a 15 minute draw- and everyone's protected. It was a wild ass match too; and Gilbert and Steiner's tights were outlandish- like Zybyzsko selling a DDT.
2 Barry Windham v. Steve Williams- 3
These are two of my absolute favorites in the business, at least Windham in my top 10, but I'll be damned if this didn't blow chunks. It wasn't the wrestling per se, it was the structure of the match. First off, it was face vs. face and they were being super gentlemanly about the whole thing (ie shaking hands, helping each other in the ring), but the fans shit all over it like Bruiser Brody used to do to little Puerto Rican honeys before he was shanked. Then, Doc takes a groin shot and milks it; Windham takes a car crash bump outside, then gets back in and rolled up. Super quick and not worthy of being done.
3 Midnight Express v. Rock n' Roll Express (Skywalker match)- 5
I give this a five only due to the fact that it was stiff and they tried to make an impossible circumstance work in their favor. The Skywalker is a huge scaffold above the ring, that's probably at best 4 feet wide and you have four guys on top of it. Much can't be done unless you have the power of the Force. But, they punched hard and used a tennis racket better than Andre Agassi could ever do, even in the bedroom with Brooke Shields. Bubba and Morton had a standoff at the end, and Morton gave him a cup check that doubled the big bruiser over.
4 Nikita Koloff v. Terry Taylor- 4
There wasn't much substance in this match.
Nikita surprisingly worked Taylor over with wear down moves the whole time, but near the end, it was he who was sweating heavy like Ed Leslie passing through a metal detector at the airport (heard he was delayed for possibly smuggling metal on a plane or planning a terrorist attack- he had a cavity search conducted, but he said it was nothing compared to the way Hogan had handled him over the years.) Some stupid interference ended it and Nikita hit his pansy ass Russian Sickle. He also spout out some Mayan in the middle of the match to help Mel Gibson promote his new movie. Don’t scoff; he'll take all the help he can get.
5 Road Warriors v. Tully Blanchard/ Arn Anderson- 5
This match had potential and it played out exactly as I thought it would, just like every celebrity marriage and the plan for the war in Iraq: fell apart. Arn and Tully started playing the scared, plaything pussies that the Warriors love them to be, but the match never really gained any steam. Add a Dusty finish, and you have a big old mess on your hands, like Gene Okerlund's diaper.
6 Lex Luger v. Dusty Rhodes( Cage)- 6
Rhodes and Luger was a great offering, not without it's problems but stayed mostly off the steel. They had some tremendous near falls and Luger was pretty mobile in his younger days. Dusty even took a bump or two, go figure.
7 Ronnie Garvin v. Ric Flair (Cage)- 8
I fell in love with 80's wrestling all over again. This is evidence that Flair was the greatest wrestler in the world. He made everyone, even accomplished toughmen like Garvin, look like God's personal bodyguard with a high level of beatdown ability. The chop fests in this match rivaled anything else ever done by the open hand. They used the cage, and effectively, unlike the last match and Flair bled like the sick pig that he is( I read passages from the Missy Hyatt book- the Flair shots were the tamest in the accounting of the world class dick sucking whore's life) I didn't like the ending, even though I remembered it from days long gone by in my youth when I used to rent this tape from the local mom and pop video store. A tremendous main event for a so-so teetering on lame duck show.
NWA Starrcade 1987
1) Michael Hayes, Jimmy Garvin, & Sting vs. Eddie Gilbert, Rick Steiner, & Larry Zbyszko – 5
2) Barry Windham vs. “Dr. Death” Steve Williams – 4
3) The Rock N Roll Express vs. The Midnight Express – Scaffold Match – 5
4) Nikita Koloff vs. Terry Taylor – 4
5) The Road Warriors vs. Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard – 6
6) Dusty Rhodes vs. Lex Luger – Cage Match – 6
7) Ric Flair vs. Ron Garvin – Cage Match – 7
This was the first ever pay-per-view offering from Jim Crockett Promotions and the NWA and the six-man tag was a hot way to open the show. The face team of Hayes, Garvin, and Sting were over huge. I’m not exactly sure why they decided that it should end in a draw but it was still good enough to warrant an average rating. Windham and Dr. Death started off at a very quick pace but slowed down after just a few minutes in a rather lackluster bout. I’ve seen the Midnights and the RNRs wrestle some damn good tag matches but this just was not it. There’s only so much you can do in a scaffold match and after about eight minutes or so it seemed to drag along. It was almost a carbon copy of the previous year’s scaffold match. Koloff and Taylor was a so-so match that I don’t remember too much of. The purpose of it was to unify the NWA and UWF television titles but I don’t think anything was achieved. I would go so far to call it one of Taylor’s best matches. The match featuring the Road Warriors was the typical NWA 1980s tag team match. Arn and Tully were at the top of their game here, as were the Road Warriors, which makes it worth at least one watching. I covered the Luger match when I reviewed the Dusty Rhodes DVD. Rhodes carried Luger to a pretty enjoyable but forgotten match in the long run. The main event featuring Flair and Garvin was quite possibly one of the best cage matches I’ve seen. They got stiff and really worked together great. I still don’t know why Garvin was the champion heading into this but Flair managed to regain the title in a solid match to cap off an above average show.
NWA Starrcade ‘87
1. Rick Stiener, Eddie Gilbert, and Larry Zbyszko vs. Fabulous Freebirds and Sting – 4
2. Barry Windham vs. Steve Williams – 2
3. Rock ‘N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express – Scaffold Match – 4
4. Terry Taylor vs. Nikita Koloff – 4
5. Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson vs. Road Warriors – 5
6. Lex Luger vs. Dusty Rhodes – Steel Cage Match – 6
7. Ric Flair vs. Ronnie Garvin – Steel Cage Match – 8
The opening six-man tag featured all kinds of guys, with varying degrees of talent, and carrying varying severities of sexually transmitted diseases. It went to a time-limit draw; with the only truly memorable moment being Zbyszko’s strange sell of a bulldog where he practically did a headstand. Windham and Williams are two truly tough brutes; here we got them working a really short match void of any of the aggression we so desperately hoped for. The scaffold match was your typical scaffold match; a bunch of guys timidly tiptoeing around, throwing substandard punches, etc. It’s a spectacle, true, but offers little otherwise. Taylor and Koloff worked a more basic match, not relying on much flash, but told a pretty decent, albeit uniform story. It was a treat seeing Anderson and Blanchard mix it up with the always-devastating Road Warriors, although, it wasn’t the classic it could have arguably been. It’s disappointing knowing they were capable of having an epic bloodbath, and instead, we got a marginally acceptable showing. Rhodes carried Luger to a pretty good match; I’d given it a 7 upon originally reviewing it in my critique of the Dusty Rhodes DVD, but upon closer inspection, changed my score. It works on some levels, but there’s not a lot going on during the mid-portion of the match, and ultimately, Luger’s just not that good. The main event, however, is borderline excellent. Garvin’s a little rough around the edges, but damn, he can sure beat someone’s chest into hamburger meat, and on the other end, Flair could make a corpse look like a superstar. As a child, Garvin was signing autographs at a local bowling alley one night and I went; when I got up to meet him, I said I didn’t want an autograph, but instead, just wanted to shake his famed “hands of stone.” There’s blood, drama, and a major title change – all elements of a great main event finale.
2. Barry Windham vs. Steve Williams – 2
3. Rock ‘N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express – Scaffold Match – 4
4. Terry Taylor vs. Nikita Koloff – 4
5. Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson vs. Road Warriors – 5
6. Lex Luger vs. Dusty Rhodes – Steel Cage Match – 6
7. Ric Flair vs. Ronnie Garvin – Steel Cage Match – 8
The opening six-man tag featured all kinds of guys, with varying degrees of talent, and carrying varying severities of sexually transmitted diseases. It went to a time-limit draw; with the only truly memorable moment being Zbyszko’s strange sell of a bulldog where he practically did a headstand. Windham and Williams are two truly tough brutes; here we got them working a really short match void of any of the aggression we so desperately hoped for. The scaffold match was your typical scaffold match; a bunch of guys timidly tiptoeing around, throwing substandard punches, etc. It’s a spectacle, true, but offers little otherwise. Taylor and Koloff worked a more basic match, not relying on much flash, but told a pretty decent, albeit uniform story. It was a treat seeing Anderson and Blanchard mix it up with the always-devastating Road Warriors, although, it wasn’t the classic it could have arguably been. It’s disappointing knowing they were capable of having an epic bloodbath, and instead, we got a marginally acceptable showing. Rhodes carried Luger to a pretty good match; I’d given it a 7 upon originally reviewing it in my critique of the Dusty Rhodes DVD, but upon closer inspection, changed my score. It works on some levels, but there’s not a lot going on during the mid-portion of the match, and ultimately, Luger’s just not that good. The main event, however, is borderline excellent. Garvin’s a little rough around the edges, but damn, he can sure beat someone’s chest into hamburger meat, and on the other end, Flair could make a corpse look like a superstar. As a child, Garvin was signing autographs at a local bowling alley one night and I went; when I got up to meet him, I said I didn’t want an autograph, but instead, just wanted to shake his famed “hands of stone.” There’s blood, drama, and a major title change – all elements of a great main event finale.
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
WCW Starrcade 1995
Starrcade was WCW's crown jewel of PPV; they had been doing the event since 1983 and was their longest running and richest in history. We have decided to review as many of those shows as possible, for you (keep that in mind) during the month of December since that was when it was featured. In 95, the show mostly consisted of WCW v. New Japan matches, for the World Cup of Wrestling. Goooooooooooooooooooal! That's the World Cup of Soccer, sorry.
1 Chris Benoit v. Jushin Liger- 5-
Benoit is the master of the art of making a match look like a fight. He slammed Liger harder than usual ( very un-WWE like) on all of his top moves and Liger silently cursed his name under his cool mask with weird hair growing from it. They tried to pack in all that they do in their usual classics into a tight ten minute affair and it blew up at the end, in a badly botched hurricanrana pin. Kevin Sullivan and Jimmy Hart showed up too; just to add to the bad hair affair (hey, Benoit was sporting his wet mullet during this.)
2 Koji Kanemoto v. Alex Wright-3
This match was drawn out longer than the first one, with none of the impact. Wright looked like a goof and had no fire in anything he did, including an overshot plancha. His aim was even worse the night he was jerking off in a hotel room and it fired into Disco Inferno's mouth, at least by Wright's point of view; Disco was moderately happy. Kanemoto's wasit sash was the balls, and so was his Pescado to the outsdie. He won in rather lackluster fashion and the fans cheered.
3 Masa Chono v. Lex Luger- 3
Two of the bigger stars on the card and they exchanged a lot of kicks, none of which had much merit. Brian and I were watching Luger sell; everytime he got hit, he screamed and strechted that horse face out, without really showing where the pain was coming from, then brief seconds later, his expression was blank again (like when he thought Liz had just passed out due to coke overdose; of course, he was high he forgot he had stabbed her with a knife.) Regardless, the finish to this came out of nowhere and was the only thing the crowd liked in it. That's makes one of us.
4 Johnny B. Badd v. Masa Saito- 5
This matchup was interesting. After watching a variety of old tapes over the last year or so, I realize Badd could actually work. Saito is a surly old prick who would probably rather be sitting at home in his underwear, watching young naked Geishas on TV, but chose to stick around wrestling a little bit longer, so everyone else must pay the price. He and Badd got into a slap fest that rivaled anything I'd seen on Jackass and resulted in Saito getting the better of it. This ended in a countout, but the match kept right on going despite the fact, when Badd overshot a flip over the top bigger than Wright did earlier. A laughout loud moment, for sure, (which is more than I can say for the last couple Jim Carrey flicks.)
5 Eddie Guerrero v. Shinjiro Ohtani- 6
This was the best match of the night. Both guys actually built the match up to it's properly executed climax, all parties were happy, then they had a cigarette and discussed ex girlfriends. Eddie pulled off every move crisply and Ohtani's springboards are my Cream- atorium. ( I just came up with that; email me if it works.) It was funny because the announcer's dubbed these guys as the next generation of their respective promotions and to see how their careers ended up is a pleasure, because at least professionally, they have been very successful.
6 Hiroyoshi Tenzan v. Randy Savage- 2
Savage was the champ and he merely got worked over in this boring waste of time. He made no comeback; only hitting a fucked up suplex attempt over the top rope and the sloppiest, most protected elbow of his career. He may as well have slapped a couple Trojans over that bad boy because his feet hit the ground first and he even missed the elbow and pinned him with a flying rib smash. A first, and definitley a last.
7 Kensuke Sasaki v. Sting- 5
This match, upon further thinking, had some intensity. Sting also got the crowd into this match, and while shorter than I would have liked, had things that worked. Sasaki's neo Japanese punk boy hair cut was not one of them, but his over the shoulder throw was. Come to think of it, Sting's hair was a little Beverly Hills Jason Preistly and kind of distracted me later in the show. But, nonetheless, the finish was very satisfying and the crowd ate spoonfuls.
8 Lex Luger v. Ric Flair v. Sting- 4
This was a triangle match and the winner got a Title shot immediately afterwards. Whoever came up with this strange card should lay off the hashesh. It's flow made no sense, but anyways, this match had three guys that were uber-familiar with each other but really didn't show it. Flair settled in for the long haul and bumped big early for the powerhouses, then tagged out and rested on the apron. Sting was the glue that barely held this together, but ultimately wobbled and fell apart. A double countout finish abided this ego fest and gave Flair his Get out of Jail card to fight Savage.
9 Randy Savage v. Ric Flair- 4
These two men showed nothing of their past encounters and the match was pretty bland until the end. The crowd wasn't really into it, nor where the competitors. Flair bladed majorly at the end for a megaphone shot( Jimmy Hart managed him and Luger the same night? What the fuck?), then the Horsemen came in and secured Flair the win. They said it was his 12th World Title, but what totally overshadowed it was Brian Pillman ripping the belt from Flair's hands to mercilessly whip Savage with it! It was crazy and hilarious. So, an historic milestone in Flair's career capped off a oddly booked and very standard show.
1 Chris Benoit v. Jushin Liger- 5-
Benoit is the master of the art of making a match look like a fight. He slammed Liger harder than usual ( very un-WWE like) on all of his top moves and Liger silently cursed his name under his cool mask with weird hair growing from it. They tried to pack in all that they do in their usual classics into a tight ten minute affair and it blew up at the end, in a badly botched hurricanrana pin. Kevin Sullivan and Jimmy Hart showed up too; just to add to the bad hair affair (hey, Benoit was sporting his wet mullet during this.)
2 Koji Kanemoto v. Alex Wright-3
This match was drawn out longer than the first one, with none of the impact. Wright looked like a goof and had no fire in anything he did, including an overshot plancha. His aim was even worse the night he was jerking off in a hotel room and it fired into Disco Inferno's mouth, at least by Wright's point of view; Disco was moderately happy. Kanemoto's wasit sash was the balls, and so was his Pescado to the outsdie. He won in rather lackluster fashion and the fans cheered.
3 Masa Chono v. Lex Luger- 3
Two of the bigger stars on the card and they exchanged a lot of kicks, none of which had much merit. Brian and I were watching Luger sell; everytime he got hit, he screamed and strechted that horse face out, without really showing where the pain was coming from, then brief seconds later, his expression was blank again (like when he thought Liz had just passed out due to coke overdose; of course, he was high he forgot he had stabbed her with a knife.) Regardless, the finish to this came out of nowhere and was the only thing the crowd liked in it. That's makes one of us.
4 Johnny B. Badd v. Masa Saito- 5
This matchup was interesting. After watching a variety of old tapes over the last year or so, I realize Badd could actually work. Saito is a surly old prick who would probably rather be sitting at home in his underwear, watching young naked Geishas on TV, but chose to stick around wrestling a little bit longer, so everyone else must pay the price. He and Badd got into a slap fest that rivaled anything I'd seen on Jackass and resulted in Saito getting the better of it. This ended in a countout, but the match kept right on going despite the fact, when Badd overshot a flip over the top bigger than Wright did earlier. A laughout loud moment, for sure, (which is more than I can say for the last couple Jim Carrey flicks.)
5 Eddie Guerrero v. Shinjiro Ohtani- 6
This was the best match of the night. Both guys actually built the match up to it's properly executed climax, all parties were happy, then they had a cigarette and discussed ex girlfriends. Eddie pulled off every move crisply and Ohtani's springboards are my Cream- atorium. ( I just came up with that; email me if it works.) It was funny because the announcer's dubbed these guys as the next generation of their respective promotions and to see how their careers ended up is a pleasure, because at least professionally, they have been very successful.
6 Hiroyoshi Tenzan v. Randy Savage- 2
Savage was the champ and he merely got worked over in this boring waste of time. He made no comeback; only hitting a fucked up suplex attempt over the top rope and the sloppiest, most protected elbow of his career. He may as well have slapped a couple Trojans over that bad boy because his feet hit the ground first and he even missed the elbow and pinned him with a flying rib smash. A first, and definitley a last.
7 Kensuke Sasaki v. Sting- 5
This match, upon further thinking, had some intensity. Sting also got the crowd into this match, and while shorter than I would have liked, had things that worked. Sasaki's neo Japanese punk boy hair cut was not one of them, but his over the shoulder throw was. Come to think of it, Sting's hair was a little Beverly Hills Jason Preistly and kind of distracted me later in the show. But, nonetheless, the finish was very satisfying and the crowd ate spoonfuls.
8 Lex Luger v. Ric Flair v. Sting- 4
This was a triangle match and the winner got a Title shot immediately afterwards. Whoever came up with this strange card should lay off the hashesh. It's flow made no sense, but anyways, this match had three guys that were uber-familiar with each other but really didn't show it. Flair settled in for the long haul and bumped big early for the powerhouses, then tagged out and rested on the apron. Sting was the glue that barely held this together, but ultimately wobbled and fell apart. A double countout finish abided this ego fest and gave Flair his Get out of Jail card to fight Savage.
9 Randy Savage v. Ric Flair- 4
These two men showed nothing of their past encounters and the match was pretty bland until the end. The crowd wasn't really into it, nor where the competitors. Flair bladed majorly at the end for a megaphone shot( Jimmy Hart managed him and Luger the same night? What the fuck?), then the Horsemen came in and secured Flair the win. They said it was his 12th World Title, but what totally overshadowed it was Brian Pillman ripping the belt from Flair's hands to mercilessly whip Savage with it! It was crazy and hilarious. So, an historic milestone in Flair's career capped off a oddly booked and very standard show.
NWA Starrcade 1986
1) Ole & Arn Anderson vs. The Rock N Roll Express – Cage Match – 6
2) Big Bubba vs. Ron Garvin – Louisville Street Fight – 5
3) Jimmy Valiant vs. Paul Jones – Hair vs. Hair Match – 3
4) Tully Blanchard vs. Dusty Rhodes – First Blood Match – 5
5) The Road Warriors vs. The Midnight Express – Scaffold Match – 6
6) Ric Flair vs. Nikita Koloff – 6
This was one of those tapes where they only showcased about half the matches and then half of those were clipped. The cage match was exciting to watch because of the old school tag psychology used. Arn was really young and soon became a master in the ring. Morton bled and the Express won to retain the tag belts. Bubba and Garvin had some flaws but they still managed to put on a decent match. Garvin hit a nasty piledriver as the highlight. Valiant and Jones was more choreographed that the annual Rockettes Christmas Spectacular in New York. It looked like it belonged more in the WWF than in the NWA. Valiant bled and his head weeble-wobbled more than a bobble head doll. I expected more from Blanchard and Rhodes. Rhodes busted JJ Dillon with the elbow before the match even started. Dusty busted Tully open with the elbow following a ref bump and then Dusty got busted too. Ref saw that Dusty was bleeding and awarded the match to Tully. The scaffold match is historic mainly because I believe that it was the first one ever. I gave it a good rating mainly for all the times they teased falling off the scaffold. Cornette bumped off the scaffold after the match and blew out both of his knees. Flair and Nikita rounded out the tape. It was intense at times and at other times featured them just going through the motions. Starrcade 86 is remembered for the scaffold match and not much else. As a matter of fact, I’ve already forgotten most of it.
WCW Starrcade ‘95
1. Chris Benoit vs. Jushin "Thunder" Liger - 5
2. Koji Kanemoto vs. Alex Wright - 4
3. Masahiro Chono vs. Lex Luger - 3
4. Johnny B. Badd vs. Masa Saito - 5
5. Eddie Guerrero vs. Shinjiro Ootani - 7
6. Tensan vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage - 4
7. Kensuki Sasaki vs. Sting - 5
8. Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair vs. Sting - Triangle Match - 4
9. "Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair - 5
It’s always a treat watching Liger and Benoit work, whether it be together, or separately. This was a nice sampling of their respective talents, but far from their best work. I’ve seen these two work with each other in Japan, in this is just a small taste of their ferocity. Still, besides a bungled hurricanrana by Liger as a finish, this was just dandy. Next, Koji, who’s typically (well, at least in ’95) just awesome, works a forgettable match against Alex Wright, who appeared here greener than She-Hulk’s pussy. Koji didn’t demonstrate any of the killer instinct that made him so notable, and Wright displayed all of the reasons why, at this point in his career, he was considered comparable to Steve Armstrong at best.
Luger and Chono, two typically tasteless competitors, had a match filled with weak kicks and groans, and little else. I wanted to see Chono crush Luger’s skull, but what we got was a big pile of suck that I wanted nothing to do with. I was interested in seeing surly Saito battle flamboyant Badd. And, it was actually pretty solid, until the offensively bad finish, as Saito got disqualified for tossing Johnny over the top rope.
Ootani (which is an interesting spelling of his name, but the one WCW supplied us) was actually one of my favorite wrestlers in the late ‘90s. I loved his work; unfortunately, over time, he gained facial hair and lost heart. Still, at this point, he was absolutely awesome, and his springboard moves were things of beauty. Eddie, as always, was solid, which means this was a near orgasm-inducing treat. Tensan (another odd spelling) is well known as being a bulky beast, the Japanese equivalent to Earthquake, give or take a couple moves and pounds. Here, he beat Savage’s ass for 95% of the match, in a rather methodical manner; before Savage scored a quick victory with the sloppiest flying elbow drop I’ve ever seen him do.
Sasaki, who these days, is having some of the best matches in the entire world, looked like a complete fucking idiot here. I’m not saying his wrestling was bad, I’m talking about his actual physical appearance. He was wearing these heinous neon green shorts, and sporting the most ridiculous haircut I’ve ever seen, some flattop/mullet hybrid that brought tears to my eyes. His match wasn’t bad, and the crowd exploded when Sting got the submission victory over the bizarre foreigner that looked like a street thug from Streets of Rage 2.
Sting, Luger, and Flair in a three-way is something I’ve often dreamed about – but they weren’t wrestling in it, if you catch my drift. This match is lengthy and never quite delivers with the goods. It mostly consists of Flair stalling, Luger’s obnoxious sells, and a very tired Sting trying to make it somewhat redeeming. Flair gets the win, thus leading to our main event, where he battles Savage in a match I quickly forgot. Seriously, when I think back, all I remember is Flair’s stupid hair, resembling a pompadour gone ghastly, and Savage’s fluorescent trunks and bodacious bulge. Flair wins the match, and championship, and celebrates while bleeding profusely like a Columbine student; all the while, his buddies accompany him in the ring, saluting him on his victory, while Brian Pillman whips Savage’s carcass with the title belt.
I was really excited to see this show, as New Japan Pro Wrestling is arguably the greatest federation of all time, but damn, mixing fine cuisine and dog feces will always result in bad news. Fuck Hulk Hogan, give me Masa Saito and I’m content.
2. Koji Kanemoto vs. Alex Wright - 4
3. Masahiro Chono vs. Lex Luger - 3
4. Johnny B. Badd vs. Masa Saito - 5
5. Eddie Guerrero vs. Shinjiro Ootani - 7
6. Tensan vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage - 4
7. Kensuki Sasaki vs. Sting - 5
8. Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair vs. Sting - Triangle Match - 4
9. "Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair - 5
It’s always a treat watching Liger and Benoit work, whether it be together, or separately. This was a nice sampling of their respective talents, but far from their best work. I’ve seen these two work with each other in Japan, in this is just a small taste of their ferocity. Still, besides a bungled hurricanrana by Liger as a finish, this was just dandy. Next, Koji, who’s typically (well, at least in ’95) just awesome, works a forgettable match against Alex Wright, who appeared here greener than She-Hulk’s pussy. Koji didn’t demonstrate any of the killer instinct that made him so notable, and Wright displayed all of the reasons why, at this point in his career, he was considered comparable to Steve Armstrong at best.
Luger and Chono, two typically tasteless competitors, had a match filled with weak kicks and groans, and little else. I wanted to see Chono crush Luger’s skull, but what we got was a big pile of suck that I wanted nothing to do with. I was interested in seeing surly Saito battle flamboyant Badd. And, it was actually pretty solid, until the offensively bad finish, as Saito got disqualified for tossing Johnny over the top rope.
Ootani (which is an interesting spelling of his name, but the one WCW supplied us) was actually one of my favorite wrestlers in the late ‘90s. I loved his work; unfortunately, over time, he gained facial hair and lost heart. Still, at this point, he was absolutely awesome, and his springboard moves were things of beauty. Eddie, as always, was solid, which means this was a near orgasm-inducing treat. Tensan (another odd spelling) is well known as being a bulky beast, the Japanese equivalent to Earthquake, give or take a couple moves and pounds. Here, he beat Savage’s ass for 95% of the match, in a rather methodical manner; before Savage scored a quick victory with the sloppiest flying elbow drop I’ve ever seen him do.
Sasaki, who these days, is having some of the best matches in the entire world, looked like a complete fucking idiot here. I’m not saying his wrestling was bad, I’m talking about his actual physical appearance. He was wearing these heinous neon green shorts, and sporting the most ridiculous haircut I’ve ever seen, some flattop/mullet hybrid that brought tears to my eyes. His match wasn’t bad, and the crowd exploded when Sting got the submission victory over the bizarre foreigner that looked like a street thug from Streets of Rage 2.
Sting, Luger, and Flair in a three-way is something I’ve often dreamed about – but they weren’t wrestling in it, if you catch my drift. This match is lengthy and never quite delivers with the goods. It mostly consists of Flair stalling, Luger’s obnoxious sells, and a very tired Sting trying to make it somewhat redeeming. Flair gets the win, thus leading to our main event, where he battles Savage in a match I quickly forgot. Seriously, when I think back, all I remember is Flair’s stupid hair, resembling a pompadour gone ghastly, and Savage’s fluorescent trunks and bodacious bulge. Flair wins the match, and championship, and celebrates while bleeding profusely like a Columbine student; all the while, his buddies accompany him in the ring, saluting him on his victory, while Brian Pillman whips Savage’s carcass with the title belt.
I was really excited to see this show, as New Japan Pro Wrestling is arguably the greatest federation of all time, but damn, mixing fine cuisine and dog feces will always result in bad news. Fuck Hulk Hogan, give me Masa Saito and I’m content.
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