1. Big Jim vs. Ala Hussein - 3
2. Hussla vs. Mike Desire - 3
3. 80-Man Battle Royal - 3
4. AJ Sparkx vs. Hellana Heavenly - Hardcore Match - 2
5. Crazy J and Lotus vs. Jt Stahr and TJ Dalton - 4
6. Team B.P.W. vs. Team H.W.A. - War Games - 4
Big Jim is a big joke, and a big insult to wrestling fans' intelligence. My buddies and I used to vocally assault Hussla at H.W.A. shows all the time. He looks like he should be a gas station attendant, not a pimp. I don't buy him as a wrestler, nor I would I buy prostitutes from him. The 80-man battle royal was a disaster of epic scale--maybe live it would have been enjoyable to witness, but they only use one camera angle on the DVD, and it's nearly impossible to see anything whatsoever. The woman's hardcore match was absolute junk. 5 years ago when I was working at a movie theatre, Heavenly would come in without makeup, wearing sweats, and looking about as attractive as Dino Bravo. I don't buy her as attractive, and I definitely don't buy her as a professional wrestler. Get back to your couch, bitch! The tag match was easily the best on the card, which isn't saying anything. I have a couple friends who worked an independent show in Indiana with Louts and J, they're apparently real douchebags. Then, one night after an R.O.H. show in Dayton, I ran into one of them at a Denny's and he approached my entourage and started shaking hands, trying to put himself over like he was Ric fucking Flair. Anybody using Insane Clown Posse references as gimmicks should be given the "Bruiser Brody Puerto Rico Special" if you catch my drift; if you need a hint, let's just stay knives are easily accessible. All kidding aside, to my more impressionable fans, I’m not advocating their murder—but I’m definitely not a fan. The "War Games" was a mess of epic proportions, much like former H.W.A. owner Les Thatcher's underwear after seeing what became of his former federation.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
WWE Survivor Series 2005
1) Chris Benoit vs. Booker T – 6
2) Trish Stratus vs. Melina – 5
3) Ric Flair vs. Triple H – Last Man Standing Match – 8
4) John Cena vs. Kurt Angle – 5
5) Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long - 1
6) Shawn Michaels, Big Show, Chris Masters, Kane, & Carlito vs. Batista, JBL, Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, & Randy Orton – Elimination Match – 6
Not really much to say here. Benoit and Booker had a solid contest that had a lame finish. The divas match was a shining spot in a dying division that has more inflatables in it than the lazy river at your local waterpark. Perhaps the best match of the night was HHH vs. Flair. They used a lot of psychology to reel the fans in and didn’t do any lame hardcore spots, save for one spot where Flair backdropped HHH through the Spanish announce table. Cena and Angle wasn’t bad, wrestling wise, but with the built in referee angle, it dropped a few notches. The Long vs. Bischoff match was a pile of dog shit. As for the main event … well, there’s really not much to say there either. I couldn’t understand a thing that the announcers were saying because they opened up all five mics and it was basically them taking pot shots at each other. Aside from HHH vs. Flair, the whole show was basically a throw-away. Man, I’m sure glad I didn’t pay twenty bucks on DVD for this thing.
Sunday, April 9, 2006
The Greatest Wrestling Stars of the 80s
Disc #1
1. Greg Valentine vs. Roddy Piper - Dog Collar Match (Starrcade 11/24/83) - 8
2. Sgt. Slaughter vs. Iron Shiek - (MSG 5/21/84) - 5
3. Greg Valentine vs. Tito Santana - Lumberjack Match (MSG 3/17/85) - 7
4. Junkyard Dog vs. Randy Savage - (Wrestling Classic 11/7/85) - 2
5. Ultimate Warrior vs. Bobby Heenan - Weasel Suit Match (MSG 6/25/88) - 2
Valentine and Piper beat, bloodied and bludgeoned each other in what is arguably the best dog collar match in the history of the business. It's a joy to see these two pummel each other, especially Valentine working Piper's left ear into a bloody pulp. Sheik and Slaughter is equally as gory, as Slaughter bleeds buckets in a less impressive bout. This got a lot of heat; I guess people were more patriotic back then. I loved how Sheik slapped Slaughter in the face a few times before the match, and I love how vile he was throughout this grudge match. Tito versus Valentine was rather excellent, Valentine has said in interviews that Tito was one of his all-time favorite opponents because he wasn't afraid to fire back shots and nail him. Lumberjack matches are usually throwaway bouts, but this was one of the better executed ones I've had the pleasure of watching. The finish was neat, too, where they both collapsed, but Valentine happened to land on top of Santana, scoring the questionable victory. I had high hopes for Savage and Junk Yard Dog; boy, was I thoroughly disappointed. This was worse than sitting next to The Boogeyman on a plane. The Heenan match was comedy, as expected, and I guess it worked on some level back then, even if it's hard to sit through nowadays.
Disc #2
1. Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair - 1 Million-Dollar Challenge Match (Starrcade 11/22/85) - 4
2. Ole & Arn Anderson vs. Wahoo McDaniel & Billy Jack Haynes - (Starrcade 11/28/85) - 4
3. Jerry "The King" Lawler vs. Kerry Von Erich - (AWA Superclash III 12/13/88) - 5
4. Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair - (Chi-Town Rumble 2/20/89) - 8
5. Ric Flair vs. Jay Youngblood - (Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling 2/3/82) - 3
Rhodes and Flair isn't one of their more legendary battles. It doesn't seem to ever really get going, and then the referee, overrated boxer Joe Frazier, stops the match due to blood loss by Rhodes, who isn't even that messy. The tag match is a throwaway. Haynes looked ripped and lost, Wahoo should have seriously been retired at this point, Arn looks good as always, and Ole looks sadistically stiff. This match runs a little shy of 10 minutes, but there's really only about 3 minutes worth of quality work. As soon as the Lawler versus Von Erich match starts, Jerry dodges a punch in the first few seconds and rams Kerry's bicep into a turnbuckle, which somehow cuts him open. This isn't played for dramatic effect as much as it just shows Von Erich, looking very petty, checking his little "boo boo" every 15 seconds instead of concentrating on this huge title unification match. Not too long after, Von Eric is really bleeding heavy, this time from his head and eye. The referee eventually stops this; although it's important, it's not really all that good, unless you're interested in watching Lawler do his same old heel shtick, where he hides a foreign object in his trunks, that he's been doing the last 25 years. Flair and Steamboat is solid, it's not the best match they’ve ever had, but its still quality. The chops are especially solid. Steamboat's green trunks and boots here are some of my all-time favorites. You should probably own at least two copies of this match. Youngblood looked about as green as Ricky's aforementioned trunks in his bout, the most oddly selected match on the entire set, and a completely forgettable waste.
Disc #3
1. Jimmy Snuka vs. Bob Backlund - Steel Cage Match (MSG 5/19/80) - 6
2. Iron Shiek vs. Bob Backlund - (MSG 12/26/83) - 4
4. Paul Ordorff vs. Salvatore Bellomo - (MSG 1/23/84) - 4
5. Iron Shiek vs. Hulk Hogan - (MSG 1/23/84) - 5
6. Bob Orton vs. Jimmy Snuka - (MSG 2/18/85) - 6
7. Roddy Piper vs. Hulk Hogan - The War To Settle The Score (MSG 2/18/85) - 5
Backlund and Snuka is one of the industry's most famous cage matches, and rightfully so, although it's not entirely spectacular. It's shorter than I expected, and Backlund looks completely out of his environment. The MSG crowd is hot, per usual, and that helps a lot. The big moment is Snuka's splash off the top of the cage, which was 10 years ahead of its time, and every bit deserving of the praise heaped upon it by smart marks worldwide. Snuka went balls out, and single-handedly made this match a major one. Backlund and Sheik is important because Sheik ended Backlund's long reign as champion, and we all now it was only so he could put the strap on Hogan's tanned waist. Backlund is selling the injured left arm to an almost absurd degree, and this entire plodding match features little but Sheik working it and his neck. They allowed Bob to save face by having his manager toss in the towel, but if they were really genuinely worried about saving face for him, they should have destroyed all footage of this match and denied its existence. The grade I gave the Orndorff match is probably a bit misleading, as I actually enjoyed it, far more than I thought I would too, since I'd heard it stunk worse than a flight attendant after Regal pissing on them. There was a ton of stalling at the beginning, but this was Paul's MSG debut, and he pummeled the Italian Bellomo, who adorned in purple trunks looked oddly like Grimace of McDonalds lore. For those of you wanted Samoa Joe to come to W.W.E., imagine him wearing these exact purple trunks, being dubbed the "Purple People Beater" and then rethink that decision. Hogan squashing Sheik for the title is a classic bout, because it birthed Hulkamania. It went a little longer than I'd remembered; what it lacked in technicality, which was a lot, it made up for in sheer heat. Orton versus Snuka was really good, arguably the hidden gem on this entire set. The end was all kinds of tasty, including Snuka doing a kickass leap from the apron over the ropes, hooking Bob in a sunset flip. Snuka shined on this DVD--all bow down and suck his shoeless feet. The last match was the MTV bout that was the big set-up for Wrestlemania, it's filled with mega heat and story galore, including an appearance by Mr. T. It's memorable for those reasons only, as the actual wrestling blows like girls hooking up executives during Nitro Girls tryouts.
1. Greg Valentine vs. Roddy Piper - Dog Collar Match (Starrcade 11/24/83) - 8
2. Sgt. Slaughter vs. Iron Shiek - (MSG 5/21/84) - 5
3. Greg Valentine vs. Tito Santana - Lumberjack Match (MSG 3/17/85) - 7
4. Junkyard Dog vs. Randy Savage - (Wrestling Classic 11/7/85) - 2
5. Ultimate Warrior vs. Bobby Heenan - Weasel Suit Match (MSG 6/25/88) - 2
Valentine and Piper beat, bloodied and bludgeoned each other in what is arguably the best dog collar match in the history of the business. It's a joy to see these two pummel each other, especially Valentine working Piper's left ear into a bloody pulp. Sheik and Slaughter is equally as gory, as Slaughter bleeds buckets in a less impressive bout. This got a lot of heat; I guess people were more patriotic back then. I loved how Sheik slapped Slaughter in the face a few times before the match, and I love how vile he was throughout this grudge match. Tito versus Valentine was rather excellent, Valentine has said in interviews that Tito was one of his all-time favorite opponents because he wasn't afraid to fire back shots and nail him. Lumberjack matches are usually throwaway bouts, but this was one of the better executed ones I've had the pleasure of watching. The finish was neat, too, where they both collapsed, but Valentine happened to land on top of Santana, scoring the questionable victory. I had high hopes for Savage and Junk Yard Dog; boy, was I thoroughly disappointed. This was worse than sitting next to The Boogeyman on a plane. The Heenan match was comedy, as expected, and I guess it worked on some level back then, even if it's hard to sit through nowadays.
Disc #2
1. Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair - 1 Million-Dollar Challenge Match (Starrcade 11/22/85) - 4
2. Ole & Arn Anderson vs. Wahoo McDaniel & Billy Jack Haynes - (Starrcade 11/28/85) - 4
3. Jerry "The King" Lawler vs. Kerry Von Erich - (AWA Superclash III 12/13/88) - 5
4. Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair - (Chi-Town Rumble 2/20/89) - 8
5. Ric Flair vs. Jay Youngblood - (Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling 2/3/82) - 3
Rhodes and Flair isn't one of their more legendary battles. It doesn't seem to ever really get going, and then the referee, overrated boxer Joe Frazier, stops the match due to blood loss by Rhodes, who isn't even that messy. The tag match is a throwaway. Haynes looked ripped and lost, Wahoo should have seriously been retired at this point, Arn looks good as always, and Ole looks sadistically stiff. This match runs a little shy of 10 minutes, but there's really only about 3 minutes worth of quality work. As soon as the Lawler versus Von Erich match starts, Jerry dodges a punch in the first few seconds and rams Kerry's bicep into a turnbuckle, which somehow cuts him open. This isn't played for dramatic effect as much as it just shows Von Erich, looking very petty, checking his little "boo boo" every 15 seconds instead of concentrating on this huge title unification match. Not too long after, Von Eric is really bleeding heavy, this time from his head and eye. The referee eventually stops this; although it's important, it's not really all that good, unless you're interested in watching Lawler do his same old heel shtick, where he hides a foreign object in his trunks, that he's been doing the last 25 years. Flair and Steamboat is solid, it's not the best match they’ve ever had, but its still quality. The chops are especially solid. Steamboat's green trunks and boots here are some of my all-time favorites. You should probably own at least two copies of this match. Youngblood looked about as green as Ricky's aforementioned trunks in his bout, the most oddly selected match on the entire set, and a completely forgettable waste.
Disc #3
1. Jimmy Snuka vs. Bob Backlund - Steel Cage Match (MSG 5/19/80) - 6
2. Iron Shiek vs. Bob Backlund - (MSG 12/26/83) - 4
4. Paul Ordorff vs. Salvatore Bellomo - (MSG 1/23/84) - 4
5. Iron Shiek vs. Hulk Hogan - (MSG 1/23/84) - 5
6. Bob Orton vs. Jimmy Snuka - (MSG 2/18/85) - 6
7. Roddy Piper vs. Hulk Hogan - The War To Settle The Score (MSG 2/18/85) - 5
Backlund and Snuka is one of the industry's most famous cage matches, and rightfully so, although it's not entirely spectacular. It's shorter than I expected, and Backlund looks completely out of his environment. The MSG crowd is hot, per usual, and that helps a lot. The big moment is Snuka's splash off the top of the cage, which was 10 years ahead of its time, and every bit deserving of the praise heaped upon it by smart marks worldwide. Snuka went balls out, and single-handedly made this match a major one. Backlund and Sheik is important because Sheik ended Backlund's long reign as champion, and we all now it was only so he could put the strap on Hogan's tanned waist. Backlund is selling the injured left arm to an almost absurd degree, and this entire plodding match features little but Sheik working it and his neck. They allowed Bob to save face by having his manager toss in the towel, but if they were really genuinely worried about saving face for him, they should have destroyed all footage of this match and denied its existence. The grade I gave the Orndorff match is probably a bit misleading, as I actually enjoyed it, far more than I thought I would too, since I'd heard it stunk worse than a flight attendant after Regal pissing on them. There was a ton of stalling at the beginning, but this was Paul's MSG debut, and he pummeled the Italian Bellomo, who adorned in purple trunks looked oddly like Grimace of McDonalds lore. For those of you wanted Samoa Joe to come to W.W.E., imagine him wearing these exact purple trunks, being dubbed the "Purple People Beater" and then rethink that decision. Hogan squashing Sheik for the title is a classic bout, because it birthed Hulkamania. It went a little longer than I'd remembered; what it lacked in technicality, which was a lot, it made up for in sheer heat. Orton versus Snuka was really good, arguably the hidden gem on this entire set. The end was all kinds of tasty, including Snuka doing a kickass leap from the apron over the ropes, hooking Bob in a sunset flip. Snuka shined on this DVD--all bow down and suck his shoeless feet. The last match was the MTV bout that was the big set-up for Wrestlemania, it's filled with mega heat and story galore, including an appearance by Mr. T. It's memorable for those reasons only, as the actual wrestling blows like girls hooking up executives during Nitro Girls tryouts.
Greatest Wrestling Stars of the 1980s DVD
Disc One:
1) Dog Collar Match: Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine – 6
2) The Iron Sheik vs. Sgt. Slaughter – 4
3) Lumberjack Match: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine vs. Tito Santana - 5
4) Randy “Macho Man” Savage vs. The Junkyard Dog – 3
5) Weasel Suit Match: The Ultimate Warrior vs. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan – 2
Disc Two:
6) Ric Flair vs. Dusty Rhodes – 6
7) Billy Jack Haynes & Wahoo McDaniel vs. The Minnesota Wrecking Crew - 6
8) Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Kerry Von Erich – 5
9) Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat - 8
10) Ric Flair vs. Jay Youngblood - 4
Disc Three:
11) Steel Cage Match: Bob Backlund vs. Superfly Jimmy Snuka – 6
12) The Iron Sheik vs. Bob Backlund – 3
13) Paul Orndorff vs. Salvatore Bellomo - 2
14) The Iron Sheik vs. Hulk Hogan - 5
15) Cowboy Bob Orton vs. Superfly Jimmy Snuka - 5
16) Hulk Hogan vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper – 4
The good news is that the two NWA World Title matches and the dog collar match saved this one from a complete snorefest. The Savage/JYD match was beyond abysmal as was the Weasel Suit Match. The unification match was nothing but a blood letting but that was it’s only redeeming feature. On the bright side, the Steamboat/Flair match from the Chi-Town Rumble pay-per-view was nothing short of incredible and is probably the best match I’ve seen between the two. Flair and Rhodes put together a decent match with Rhodes bleeding like a horse. Like I mentioned before, this DVD set is a must have for fans of 1980s wrestling. I’d purchase this just for the dog collar match, Flair vs. Rhodes, Flair vs. Steamboat, and Backlund vs. Snuka. Recommended.
Wednesday, April 5, 2006
WCW WrestleWar 1992: War Games
This is a show I've been wanting to re watch since I was a child. The War Games is a very cool concept that WWE wishes they came up with. 2 teams of 5, locked inside two rings, with a low ceiling cage encasing you. The only thing to do is drain your arteries of it's life giving blood and hope no one on your team submits or surrenders! Very good television.
1 The Freebirds v. Greg Valentine/ Terry Taylor- 6- Wow! Did I just write that? A 6? Well, Just because I didn't like "Hard Times" doesn't mean that I can't say Charles Dickens wasn't a master of prose. The names in this match read like a who's really never was, but they were all seasoned vets and they could work a crowd better than David Lee Roth. This match had the true essence of tag psychology and the crowd ate it up. The match was well paced and all the punches landed solid and looked legit? That's all you can ask for. It also had a great finish.
2 Ron Simmons v. Mr. Huges- 3- This was supposed to be a tag with Cactus Jack and JYD as partners! I love this show. What a great idea to have those two opposite a ring from each other. Cactus knocked Dog off the long rampway WCW had( which was a great idea) and dropped the elbow off of it, and Dog sold it like his heart just exploded. So, to singles action we go. Huges sold big for Simmons and Ron tried to keep pace slow for Huges. Decent match to put over the legendary Seminole.
3 Brian Pillman v. Tom Zenk- 6- This match told a story. Former partners, now with a belt in the middle, and the classic who was better? Who carried the team? And this wasn't all high flying; there was some real wrestling spots that was saying to each man "yeah, I'm showing you up and you know it? What do you have?" Pillman was the 90's Kurt Angle. He took to wrestling so quickly and just made it exciting to watch. He tried something new almost every time out there and really had a brilliant career ahead of him and should have been a huge star still today. Zenk held his own too, and I'm really not sure why he didn't wrestle longer. Anyways, these two tore down the house.
4 Steiner Brothers v. Tatsumi Fujinami/ Takayuki Iizuka- 7- Now, this is a tag match! None of the four of these men were going to give an inch and my god, I loved watching them try and take that inch like it was the last piece of steak at the George Foreman household. Let's really set the stage: The Steiner Brothers were the best tag team in the world, scientifically and physically. Fujinami was perhaps the best wrestler in Japan at that time or any other. Iizuka was a young pup who could stiff with the best of them and he wanted to prove it. There were some spots in this I hadn't ever seen and have never seen since, including a belly to belly to Iizuka who was jumping off the top rope towards Rick who was on Fujinami's shoulders! Unbelievable, except I saw it!
5 Sting's Squadron( Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Barry Windham, Dustin Rhodes, & Nikita Koloff) v. The Dangerous Alliance( Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Arn Anderson, Bobby Eaton, & Larry Zybyszko) w/ Paul E. Dangerously & Madusa (War Games: The Match Beyond)- 9- This was by god the greatest War Games that ever took place. There was so much story in this, inlaid into each team, every one played an archetype, and then there was the action and the violence and the blood! I don't know where to begin. Let's see, Austin, Windham, Rhodes, Anderson, & Rude were all bleeding badly, which in this case means goodly. Sting was flying over both rings, Steamboat was hanging from the cage, Austin was eating steel, Anderson was hitting spinebusters, Windham was being old school and throwing great punches, Rhodes was being the rookie who wouldn't die, Larry Land was selling awesome, Rude was being spectacularly heelish, Eaton was fighting for his life, and Koloff was teasing a turn on Sting that didn't happen and then he got really stiff, plus they finished by taking the turnbuckle hook completely off and Larry accidentally bashed Eaton in the arm with it, and Sting won with an armbar! An armbar! A wonderful, feel-good, meat and potatoes, tingling, electric, soda pop fizzing, orgasm bursting, Star Wars ending armbar! God, I need a cigarette. This was a great old school tape and I loved every second of it. I want to thank our fellow writer, Adam for providing it. Good looking, bro.
1 The Freebirds v. Greg Valentine/ Terry Taylor- 6- Wow! Did I just write that? A 6? Well, Just because I didn't like "Hard Times" doesn't mean that I can't say Charles Dickens wasn't a master of prose. The names in this match read like a who's really never was, but they were all seasoned vets and they could work a crowd better than David Lee Roth. This match had the true essence of tag psychology and the crowd ate it up. The match was well paced and all the punches landed solid and looked legit? That's all you can ask for. It also had a great finish.
2 Ron Simmons v. Mr. Huges- 3- This was supposed to be a tag with Cactus Jack and JYD as partners! I love this show. What a great idea to have those two opposite a ring from each other. Cactus knocked Dog off the long rampway WCW had( which was a great idea) and dropped the elbow off of it, and Dog sold it like his heart just exploded. So, to singles action we go. Huges sold big for Simmons and Ron tried to keep pace slow for Huges. Decent match to put over the legendary Seminole.
3 Brian Pillman v. Tom Zenk- 6- This match told a story. Former partners, now with a belt in the middle, and the classic who was better? Who carried the team? And this wasn't all high flying; there was some real wrestling spots that was saying to each man "yeah, I'm showing you up and you know it? What do you have?" Pillman was the 90's Kurt Angle. He took to wrestling so quickly and just made it exciting to watch. He tried something new almost every time out there and really had a brilliant career ahead of him and should have been a huge star still today. Zenk held his own too, and I'm really not sure why he didn't wrestle longer. Anyways, these two tore down the house.
4 Steiner Brothers v. Tatsumi Fujinami/ Takayuki Iizuka- 7- Now, this is a tag match! None of the four of these men were going to give an inch and my god, I loved watching them try and take that inch like it was the last piece of steak at the George Foreman household. Let's really set the stage: The Steiner Brothers were the best tag team in the world, scientifically and physically. Fujinami was perhaps the best wrestler in Japan at that time or any other. Iizuka was a young pup who could stiff with the best of them and he wanted to prove it. There were some spots in this I hadn't ever seen and have never seen since, including a belly to belly to Iizuka who was jumping off the top rope towards Rick who was on Fujinami's shoulders! Unbelievable, except I saw it!
5 Sting's Squadron( Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Barry Windham, Dustin Rhodes, & Nikita Koloff) v. The Dangerous Alliance( Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Arn Anderson, Bobby Eaton, & Larry Zybyszko) w/ Paul E. Dangerously & Madusa (War Games: The Match Beyond)- 9- This was by god the greatest War Games that ever took place. There was so much story in this, inlaid into each team, every one played an archetype, and then there was the action and the violence and the blood! I don't know where to begin. Let's see, Austin, Windham, Rhodes, Anderson, & Rude were all bleeding badly, which in this case means goodly. Sting was flying over both rings, Steamboat was hanging from the cage, Austin was eating steel, Anderson was hitting spinebusters, Windham was being old school and throwing great punches, Rhodes was being the rookie who wouldn't die, Larry Land was selling awesome, Rude was being spectacularly heelish, Eaton was fighting for his life, and Koloff was teasing a turn on Sting that didn't happen and then he got really stiff, plus they finished by taking the turnbuckle hook completely off and Larry accidentally bashed Eaton in the arm with it, and Sting won with an armbar! An armbar! A wonderful, feel-good, meat and potatoes, tingling, electric, soda pop fizzing, orgasm bursting, Star Wars ending armbar! God, I need a cigarette. This was a great old school tape and I loved every second of it. I want to thank our fellow writer, Adam for providing it. Good looking, bro.
WCW WarGames ‘92
1. Taylor Made Man and Greg Valentine vs. Freebirds – 6
2. Mr. Hughes vs. Ron Simmons – 4
3. Tom Zenk vs. Brian Pillman – 6
4. Tatsumi Fujinami and Takayuki Iizuka vs. The Steiner Bros. – 8
5. Sting’s Squadron (Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Barry Windham, Dustin Rhodes, & Nikita Koloff) vs. Dangerous Alliance (Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Arn Anderson, Bobby Eaton, & Larry Zybyszko) – WarGames Match – 9
On paper, you may see that first match and scoff, but that’d only show how little you know about professional wrestling. In that match are four certified legends, and although you won’t be seeing a moonsault through a flaming table, which any teen lacking self-esteem can do in their backyard, you will see terrific performances. These guys know how to absolutely drive the crowds wild, which is something I think a lot of wrestling writers don’t figure into their reviews, and is something I’ve been watching with a much more keen eye lately, as it’s one of the most important factors in the craft of telling a good story, and having a solid match.
Mr. Hughes and Simmons don’t steal the show, by any means, but they’re making an effort, which is something I can’t say about many mid-card wrestlers these days. Hughes’ sells aren’t good, he really needs to slow down and help us buy his opponent’s offense. Zenk and Pillman was just fantastic, it had a slow build, was the payoff to a major storyline, and featured an excellent finish. I’ve always been a Pillman fan, and Zenk held up his end of the deal, too. It was a very athletic and refreshing match.
I absolutely loved the Steiner Bros. versus Fujinami and Iizuka match. I urge you to seek it out as it’s the epitome of why I love wrestling. These guys held nothing back, and they all worked so hard in a very hard hitting and competitive match. The Steiner’s experience in Japan was very visible, as they went toe-to-toe with legend Fujinami and young gun Iizuka. There were so many huge spots and sequences in this match that I can’t do it justice by detailing them now. Scott Steiner almost broke his neck attempting a moonsault slam, a move the likes of which I’ve never seen attempted before or after this match. The best spot of the show saw Rick Steiner, who was perched on Fujinami’s shoulders, catch Iizuka in mid-air, whom had just leapt from the top turnbuckle, and give him a belly-to-belly suplex. It was an amazing and innovative spot—I’ve never seen anything like it. Guest writer Jessie and I exploded when we saw it, and re-watched it several times before finally settling down.
The main event is a classic match, arguably the best WarGames match ever, featuring a whole host of brilliant performances and more blood than the goriest of horror films. There are so many talented workers in this that you’d be insane to not want to see it, as some of the best wrestlers of all-time are on display in a chaotic cage match that has no parallel. Do yourself a favor and seek this video out, I guarantee you’ll be impressed. I can only speak for myself, but I’d rather see Bobby Eaton truly selling the effects of a chinlock, than see one more convoluted Ultimate X match or Elimination Chamber fiasco.
2. Mr. Hughes vs. Ron Simmons – 4
3. Tom Zenk vs. Brian Pillman – 6
4. Tatsumi Fujinami and Takayuki Iizuka vs. The Steiner Bros. – 8
5. Sting’s Squadron (Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Barry Windham, Dustin Rhodes, & Nikita Koloff) vs. Dangerous Alliance (Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Arn Anderson, Bobby Eaton, & Larry Zybyszko) – WarGames Match – 9
On paper, you may see that first match and scoff, but that’d only show how little you know about professional wrestling. In that match are four certified legends, and although you won’t be seeing a moonsault through a flaming table, which any teen lacking self-esteem can do in their backyard, you will see terrific performances. These guys know how to absolutely drive the crowds wild, which is something I think a lot of wrestling writers don’t figure into their reviews, and is something I’ve been watching with a much more keen eye lately, as it’s one of the most important factors in the craft of telling a good story, and having a solid match.
Mr. Hughes and Simmons don’t steal the show, by any means, but they’re making an effort, which is something I can’t say about many mid-card wrestlers these days. Hughes’ sells aren’t good, he really needs to slow down and help us buy his opponent’s offense. Zenk and Pillman was just fantastic, it had a slow build, was the payoff to a major storyline, and featured an excellent finish. I’ve always been a Pillman fan, and Zenk held up his end of the deal, too. It was a very athletic and refreshing match.
I absolutely loved the Steiner Bros. versus Fujinami and Iizuka match. I urge you to seek it out as it’s the epitome of why I love wrestling. These guys held nothing back, and they all worked so hard in a very hard hitting and competitive match. The Steiner’s experience in Japan was very visible, as they went toe-to-toe with legend Fujinami and young gun Iizuka. There were so many huge spots and sequences in this match that I can’t do it justice by detailing them now. Scott Steiner almost broke his neck attempting a moonsault slam, a move the likes of which I’ve never seen attempted before or after this match. The best spot of the show saw Rick Steiner, who was perched on Fujinami’s shoulders, catch Iizuka in mid-air, whom had just leapt from the top turnbuckle, and give him a belly-to-belly suplex. It was an amazing and innovative spot—I’ve never seen anything like it. Guest writer Jessie and I exploded when we saw it, and re-watched it several times before finally settling down.
The main event is a classic match, arguably the best WarGames match ever, featuring a whole host of brilliant performances and more blood than the goriest of horror films. There are so many talented workers in this that you’d be insane to not want to see it, as some of the best wrestlers of all-time are on display in a chaotic cage match that has no parallel. Do yourself a favor and seek this video out, I guarantee you’ll be impressed. I can only speak for myself, but I’d rather see Bobby Eaton truly selling the effects of a chinlock, than see one more convoluted Ultimate X match or Elimination Chamber fiasco.
Tuesday, April 4, 2006
WWE Wrestlemania 22
1. Big Show and Kane vs. Chris Masters and Carlito - 3
2. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Ric Flair vs. Fit Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley - Money In the Bank Ladder Match - 7
3. Chris Benoit vs. J.B.L. - 4
4. Mick Foley vs. Edge - Hardcore Match - 5
5. Booker T and Sharmal vs. Boogeyman - Handicap Match - 2
6. The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry - Casket Match - 5
7. Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James - 6
8. Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon - No Holds Barred - 3
9. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton - 6
10. Candice vs. Torrie Wilson - Playboy Pillow Fight - 1
11. John Cena vs. Triple H - 7
The opening tag match wasn't memorable--roughly your basic Raw opener. I guess it was a good choice to start with, though, as it would have came off even worse had they done it later in the show. Afterwards, they teased a Carlito/Masters split; can you imagine the matches that feud would birth? The ladder match was admittedly fun. These clusters can become tedious when they're overused, but this was enjoyable. Shelton and Flair looked especially good, with Benjamin showcasing his agility and Flair taking a nasty suplex off a ladder by Hardy. Van Dam won in the end, but most of us didn't care who got the victory, it was watching them all get to that point that interested us. Benoit and Layfield worked a slow, mostly unspectacular match. Benoit's always a joy to watch, but Bradshaw's sells of his suplexes were lazy as hell, and the ending was disappointing.
I used to dig Foley, but it's hard watching him to do the same old shit, again and again, whenever they need him to bump. Yes, he took some nasty spills, but ultimately, I never truly got into this match. Credit goes to Edge, too, as he took a few nasty bumps, including a back suplex into thousands of thumbtacks. The ending, involving a flaming table, was inventive and kind of cool. Boogeyman looked completely awful, he's supposedly legit injured, but even that's no excuse for this pile of shit. I feel bad for Booker, who in past interviews had hopes of being in the main event of a Wrestlemania, and instead, is using his career and wife to put over a silly gimmick. Henry and Undertaker was about as good as anybody could have expected, Henry didn't do much, but Undertaker worked hard as always. This was relatively short for a stipulation match, with the major highlight being Undertaker doing a huge dive over the top rope onto Henry on the floor.
Trish and Mickie had a very good match together, the crowd turned on Stratus about halfway through it, and Mickie was just eating it up, playing the evil bitch perfectly. They ruined the finish, just absoultley botching James doing Trish's Stratusfaction finisher, as both slipped and crumpled to the mat. Besides the ending, this was rather solid. I didn't want to see McMahon wrestle, and this was the mess we all knew it would be. The Spirit Squad and Shane McMahon got involved, adding to the absurdity. The big bump was McMahon, with a garbage can covering his upper torso, being driven through a table by a Michaels elbow drop off a ladder. This was uninspired drivel. The three-way match was good, albeit short, only 9 minutes or so. Angle was over huge, and all three guys looked mostly good. Rey botched a ringpost 619; slipping and falling on his ass, looking like a complete idiot. Rey won the World title, which years ago I would have never believed; I'm interested to see how his reign turns out.
Candice and Torrie was worse than anticipated, fumbling in lingerie through a ring with a bed and tons of pillows in it. I wonder how Kidman feels, his wife Torrie is working a premier match at the biggest wrestling show of the year, and he's stuck working the drive-thru window at a Sonic restaurant. The main event was--interesting. The crowd was so into this, in a really odd way, their newfound hatred for Cena very present. The build was very slow and methodical, but the heat they had was tremendous. From a technical standpoint, it was flat, but from a heat standpoint, this was truly a major moment. The crowd was eating everything up, including Triple H's typical tame move set. The ending was genius, though, as Cena won clean, making Triple H tap out to his patented STFU. The crowd was stunned, as most people figured politician Triple H would reclaim the championship, for yet another run of mediocrity. Overall, this was an entertaining show, easily the most solid Wrestlemania since 19 in Seattle. There were a few throwaway matches, that did little except hurt the event, but for the most part, the pace and tone of the show was fine. I'm hoping next year's Wrestlemania in Detroit takes what was good about this show, improves upon it, and delivers a truly memorable show, worth being compared to the truly classic Wrestlemania events of the early 80's.
2. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Ric Flair vs. Fit Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley - Money In the Bank Ladder Match - 7
3. Chris Benoit vs. J.B.L. - 4
4. Mick Foley vs. Edge - Hardcore Match - 5
5. Booker T and Sharmal vs. Boogeyman - Handicap Match - 2
6. The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry - Casket Match - 5
7. Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James - 6
8. Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon - No Holds Barred - 3
9. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton - 6
10. Candice vs. Torrie Wilson - Playboy Pillow Fight - 1
11. John Cena vs. Triple H - 7
The opening tag match wasn't memorable--roughly your basic Raw opener. I guess it was a good choice to start with, though, as it would have came off even worse had they done it later in the show. Afterwards, they teased a Carlito/Masters split; can you imagine the matches that feud would birth? The ladder match was admittedly fun. These clusters can become tedious when they're overused, but this was enjoyable. Shelton and Flair looked especially good, with Benjamin showcasing his agility and Flair taking a nasty suplex off a ladder by Hardy. Van Dam won in the end, but most of us didn't care who got the victory, it was watching them all get to that point that interested us. Benoit and Layfield worked a slow, mostly unspectacular match. Benoit's always a joy to watch, but Bradshaw's sells of his suplexes were lazy as hell, and the ending was disappointing.
I used to dig Foley, but it's hard watching him to do the same old shit, again and again, whenever they need him to bump. Yes, he took some nasty spills, but ultimately, I never truly got into this match. Credit goes to Edge, too, as he took a few nasty bumps, including a back suplex into thousands of thumbtacks. The ending, involving a flaming table, was inventive and kind of cool. Boogeyman looked completely awful, he's supposedly legit injured, but even that's no excuse for this pile of shit. I feel bad for Booker, who in past interviews had hopes of being in the main event of a Wrestlemania, and instead, is using his career and wife to put over a silly gimmick. Henry and Undertaker was about as good as anybody could have expected, Henry didn't do much, but Undertaker worked hard as always. This was relatively short for a stipulation match, with the major highlight being Undertaker doing a huge dive over the top rope onto Henry on the floor.
Trish and Mickie had a very good match together, the crowd turned on Stratus about halfway through it, and Mickie was just eating it up, playing the evil bitch perfectly. They ruined the finish, just absoultley botching James doing Trish's Stratusfaction finisher, as both slipped and crumpled to the mat. Besides the ending, this was rather solid. I didn't want to see McMahon wrestle, and this was the mess we all knew it would be. The Spirit Squad and Shane McMahon got involved, adding to the absurdity. The big bump was McMahon, with a garbage can covering his upper torso, being driven through a table by a Michaels elbow drop off a ladder. This was uninspired drivel. The three-way match was good, albeit short, only 9 minutes or so. Angle was over huge, and all three guys looked mostly good. Rey botched a ringpost 619; slipping and falling on his ass, looking like a complete idiot. Rey won the World title, which years ago I would have never believed; I'm interested to see how his reign turns out.
Candice and Torrie was worse than anticipated, fumbling in lingerie through a ring with a bed and tons of pillows in it. I wonder how Kidman feels, his wife Torrie is working a premier match at the biggest wrestling show of the year, and he's stuck working the drive-thru window at a Sonic restaurant. The main event was--interesting. The crowd was so into this, in a really odd way, their newfound hatred for Cena very present. The build was very slow and methodical, but the heat they had was tremendous. From a technical standpoint, it was flat, but from a heat standpoint, this was truly a major moment. The crowd was eating everything up, including Triple H's typical tame move set. The ending was genius, though, as Cena won clean, making Triple H tap out to his patented STFU. The crowd was stunned, as most people figured politician Triple H would reclaim the championship, for yet another run of mediocrity. Overall, this was an entertaining show, easily the most solid Wrestlemania since 19 in Seattle. There were a few throwaway matches, that did little except hurt the event, but for the most part, the pace and tone of the show was fine. I'm hoping next year's Wrestlemania in Detroit takes what was good about this show, improves upon it, and delivers a truly memorable show, worth being compared to the truly classic Wrestlemania events of the early 80's.
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