Wednesday, October 8, 2014

2001: A WCW Odyssey - WCW Thunder 1/3/01

The first WCW TV show of 2001 and right off the bat Tony Schiavone welcomes us to "2001, a wrestling odyssey". How appropriate.

1. Shane Helms vs. Jamie Knoble - 2

Helms is the number one contender for the Cruiserweight title after beating Shannon Moore on Nitro two weeks ago. Stevie Ray calls a wacky submission hold Helms hooked a “possible submission hold” on commentary. Noble took pretty much all of Helms offense including both a Vertebreaker and the Nightmare on Helms Street. This was essentially a three minute squash match to get Helms over, nothing more, nothing less. Afterwards, a run-in by a litany of dudes including Evan Karagias, Shannon Moore, and Chavo Guerrero which amounted to absolutely nothing.

2. Cpl. Cajun & Sgt. A-Wall vs. Sean O'Haire & Chuck Palumbo - 2

This match feels so non-descript its not even funny. Lots of punching, kicking, and clubbing blows. The Misfits are working in t-shirts. I can’t stand it when people work matches in t-shirts. It feels so low rent and and lazy. End of this was complete chaos with Stasiak and Jindrak outside beating up on A-Wall and O’Haire and Palumbo double teaming Cpl. Cajun with Gen. Rection doing absolutely nothing to help him teammates. Ugh.

3. Chair on a Pole Match: Crowbar vs. Meng - 3

Yes, you read that right, it’s chair on a pole match. It’s never explained how to win, I guess it’s by pinfall or submission? Crowbar grabs the chair 90 seconds in. I guess he pressed the easy button from Staples. Then, we get a brawl on the floor which featured Crowbar trying a Vader Bomb off the guardrail and then Daffney and Paisley getting into a scrap. Meng wins with the Tongan Death Grip and Schiavone goes absolutely crazy on commentary. Not a whole lot to see here.

4. Mark Jindrak vs. Goldberg - 3

Well, I think we all know how this will turn out. Tony on commentary plugs a Goldberg t-shirt and remarks “I’m sure Jindrak would rather be there”. Yeah, I’m sure Jindrak would want to buy the shirt of the guy who’s about to beat the hell out of him. Goldberg runs over Jindrak in about two minutes. Pretty sure Goldberg’s entrance took longer than this match.

5. The Cat vs. Reno - 2

Only five matches in to the first episode and I’m already sick of hearing the lame music for the Natural Born Thrillers. Did I just hear Stevie Ray call a small package a brainbuster? Reno took a rough looking face plant into the buckle and ate a kick from Cat to polish this one off. Another very non-descript match with zero crowd reaction.

6. Mike Awesome vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan - 4

This was set up when Duggan beat up Elix Skipper in a bus earlier in the night. Let’s not question the logic behind that. This has been the most entertaining thing on the show by far. I enjoyed every second of watching these guys just wail on each other. No bullshit, no major interference during the match, just two big dudes pounding each other non-stop for five minutes or so. This was lots of fun.

7. Buff Bagwell vs. “Sarge” DeWayne Bruce - 2

Longtime WCW fans will recognize Bruce as Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker of the tag team The State Patrol from early to mid-90s WCW. Never really cared much for Bagwell and this felt like they were on auto-pilot until Bagwell hit a completely random double arm DDT. We then get a random cut scene where Kronik attacks Goldberg, shoves him in a box, and makes some hapless bystander haul him out in a forklift. Cut back to the ring where the bell randomly rings and Bagwell and Luger beat up Bruce and break his arm with a chair.

8. Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid Vicious - 2

This was set up earlier in the night by Ric Flair who said the winner of the match gets the third spot in the Sin main event. Sid got some offense early on, which was mostly a really tepid brawl outside the ring. Jarrett controls with a sleeperhold, Sid then gets a comeback which involves a clothesline, a big boot, and a kick to the gut before interference from the Mystery Man and the match is thrown out. Ok, great, that accomplished exactly nothing.

Pretty mediocre show overall with a lot of guys that seemed like they were just going through the motions. The Duggan/Awesome match was a fun five minute brawl but that was the highlight. This review came across pretty much just like the show, very bland.

Next up in this series ... Monday Nitro 1/8/01

2001: A WCW Odyssey Master List

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