Tuesday, October 30, 2007

WWF Royal Rumble '89 Co-Review

Jessie: Another Never Hand Over First: The Co-Review! Brian and I will both be adding comments to the same show, after we've both seen it. Since we'll be tag teaming this thing (not unlike Nick's Cherry popping, tits sagging, cock blowing for rent paying, slayed every Van Bever brother in 4 generations friend, Vicky, right, Ed?) , look for either me or Brian's name for comments. Onto it!

1. Hart Foundation and Jim Duggan vs. Fabulous Rougeaus and Dino Bravo - 2 out of 3 Falls Match (B:6 J:6)

Brian: I could see some thinking 6 is an awfully generous score, but in reality, everybody in this match did what it was we expected and anticipated. The Rougeaus were fabulous pricks, just being completely coy and smarmy. Duggan’s timing was impeccable and I was downright surprised, and Hart ate a bunch of stuff, including his patented sternum-first bump into the turnbuckles. The first fall was won when Raymond pinned Bret after the “Bombe de Rougeau”, an incredible double-team maneuver that made the Road Warriors’ “Doomsday Device” look pussy in comparison. Duggan evened things back up in the second fall, and in the third and deciding fall, we got some hokey stuff involving Duggan’s 2x4 but it didn’t deter me from loving this.

Jessie: 6 seems just right to me; 2 out of 3 falls is such a great concept and they used it to their advantage. The heels were awesome, with the Rougeaus really nailing that aspect of the French that we Americans hate so much. I loved Bravo celebrating after every move like he won a Publishers' Clearing House. Bret was the selling meat of the match and had a kick ass hooking clothesline. Yeah, that 2nd fall was a great finish and the crowd was addicted to cheering USA, even though only 2/3 of the faces were in fact American.

2. Rockin' Robin vs. Judy Martin (J:3 B:3)

Jessie: Rockin' Robin is the reason Vince gives all his Divas new breasts. She had a lot of fire, threw a lot of wild punches and clotheslines, sort of agile as well. Martin noticeably had melonoma growing on her arms but she threw some decent hooks with them. If any lady described the term "Grizzled Veteran" it was her. The scientific stuff looked bad, like the small package but Robin had some nuance to her performance, a few very realistic sells, so I was impressed slightly. The finish was pretty unmemorable but there were small spurts of enjoyable action.

Brian: I think Robin with big, gnarly fake tits would potentially be scarier. This would have benefited had the Houston crowd gave one iota, but most of them were running to the restroom or the merchandise booth to get “Macho Man” Randy Savage shades. The highlight for this for me was Sensational Sherri doing color commentary. Robin’s match winning flying crossbody didn’t even warm Houston’s hearts.

3. King Haku vs. Harley Race (B:5 J:5)

Brian: This was pretty awesome in that is was rare during these days to see two heels go at it, especially at such a high-profile show, and they were both seconded by Bobby Heenan. The crowd didn’t seem to care much for this either, but I was enjoying it immensely. Race’s first couple clotheslines looked much weaker than I’d hoped for, but both guys eventually got some steam behind them and started laying stuff in. Race took multiple hurty-looking bumps to the floor. It’s sad Harley didn’t get a more memorable run during his WWF stint. Haku won with a reverse thrust kick that could kill a small child.

Jessie: I leaned on this one, hovering over a 4 but this was just a fight and i can't believe the crowd couldn't respect that. yeah, you never saw heel v. heel during this time, but Race is a bad dude even if he was wearing purple trunks. I thought Race was bumping just for the sake of it after a while because he fell out of the ring so much, but him tipping Haku's ceremonial throne was a true pleasure. That finishing Kick was enough to kill me! Two gnarly old bruisers just beating away and i think Brian,you said it best that those were probably two of the toughest guys in the business, ever, period.

4. 30 Man Royal Rumble (J:6 B:6)

Jessie: I will give this a slight thumbs up. The Rumble is always a fun match to watch because there are so many guys in there and this was no exception. Seeing as it's 18 years old, there were tons of great legends coming in every 120 seconds, so it was a real treat to see some in their prime. The Rumble is usually divided up into a few different groups: the first group is the core group of guys that are going to hold it together but not be a big threat, usually a seasoned vet. Andre the Giant, Curt Henning, and Greg Valentine provided a lot of direction in the first half and kept the match going. The problem with the second half is you had Big John and Akeem and neither were directing traffic very well. Then, you have your playmakers (if I can borrow that express from Montel Vontavious); these are the top favorites who come in and dominate. Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan were the two most noticeable here. Then, you have the largest group which is everyone else, mostly guys just milling about and exchanging punches with a few quick eliminations. There was an endless array of talent to watch and most of it ranging from decent to pretty good workers; the only really off guys I noticed were the Bushwhackers, Honky Tonk and Beefcake. Best elimination went to Rooster, who fell flat on his face after tumbling to the ground and pussiest elimination went to either Akeem or Hogan, both who were practically already out of the ring when they fell a mere few inches to go out. The finish of the Rumble came down to Big John and Million Dollar Man. Dibiase is usually a great guy to have in the Rumble but his skills were wasted as he came in #30 and barely engaged anyone. Studd wins after a lackluster toss of Dibiase over the top rope. It was a pretty anticlimatic finish to a Rumble that started out pretty damn exciting and lost a lot of sizzle as the match progressed. The last 6 or 7 guys were mostly midcarders that no one cared about so it was kind of hard to get into the match even though some of them were pretty competent. I would still recommend it over all, in the scale of Rumble matches.

Brian: I think Jessie did a good job of covering this from all the angles, and I agree with his sentiments. While the ending wasn’t spectacular or really memorable, overall, there was enough solid stuff to warrant seeking this out, and placing it nearer the upper echelon of Rumble matches than anything WWE has produced lately. When Butch Miller had the third longest amount of in-ring time, clocking a little over 18 minutes, you know this isn’t going to be a technical masterpiece. Mr. Perfect lasted the longest; a couple seconds shy of 28 minutes, and was arguably the MVP of the match. He took a couple of his trademark bumps. Hogan eliminated 9 people himself, nearly one-third of the competitors, including Koko B. Ware who barely lasted a minute (damn it!) and Warlord, who lasted literally 3 seconds! Props also are necessary for Andre the Giant, who lasted nearly 15 minutes, and had some of the best facials and selling psychology of anyone on the entire show. I agree with Jessie on the best elimination being Red Rooster, as I just loved seeing Terry Taylor eat a face full of ground.

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