Tuesday, October 9, 2007

TNA Sacrifice 2007

1 Chris Sabin v. Jay Lethal v. Sonjay Dutt- 2
Since when did Sabin become a very unfunny comedy wrestler? These 3 guys, after the bell rung, let the fans settle and set up a very big match atmosphere, then Sabin made a stupid face and the joke started. All 3 guys would pick up the pace, then let it completely die down as they started their next sequence, but there were none good enough to even mention. This was like CSI: Miami, the ugly stepsister of CSI, all the worst shit i hate about what the X Division has become. At least we got a cameo of Stomper, the TNA mascot, a guy in a giant rat costume. I wish i was making that up.

2 Robert Roode v. Jeff Jarrett- 4
Jarrett's crowd brawls are so boring, like that book about the guy trying to kill a giant white whale, wasn't that about his own insecurity about his penis? anyways, both guys could throw a great strike and Jarrett took an unprotected bump on the outside. As per normal Jarrett, about a hundred weapons were used and much interference ensued. Does anyone else not remember this lame Jarrett comeback?

3 Christopher Daniels v. Rhino- 3
A mix of styles that didn't work, like Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson in that horrible bomb of a film. Rhino did a decent job of selling his hurt arm, until Daniels slipped him into the Koji Klutch, and Rhino pulled his arm, then put it back in so Daniels could transition into an armlock. The bat to the face finish was absolutely orgasmic though and probably reminded the Detroit native of the last fight he had with his wife.

4 Basham/ Damaja v. Kip James- 1
Damaja is the epitome of indy wrestler scum. He punches like a hedgehog with 2 inch arms and he sells like he's a fucking zombie. James tries to make something out of this but quickly loses interest when he spots an underage male prostitue in the front row. pitiful.

5 James Storm v. Chris Harris (Texas Death match) - 8
WOW! This was a blood feud, through and through. These guys were laying in punches like they were locked in a cage with 6 hungry tigers right from the start. The crowd brawl was typical TNA stuff, but once they got back in the ring, it was all on! You could see both men prematurely blade, but they beat the blood out of each other's heads regardless. The spear through the table off the apron was spot of the night and the emotion these two had on their faces makes you wonder a) why this was on half way through the show, and b) why either of these guys haven't gotten a chance to be a star. Kudos to both men.

6 Tiger Mask IV v. Jerry Lynn v. Alex Shelly v. Senshi- 5
This was a much better example of their X Division guys, as all 4 of them had a ring leader quality to them. Senshi held this together and all of his stuff looked spot on and top notch, even hard to aim kicks. Lynn put a lot of effort into it but he's just a tad slower than he used to be. Mask seemed like he was a little loopy from some sake or something, but still manged to hang in there.

7 Team 3-D v. LAX v. Scott Steiner/ Tomko- 3
G-D, this match deserved an even lower grade but these guys potated each other like they found out they all got AIDS from the same goat. Ouch! Anyways, Bubba was his usual miserable prick self and proved it by bullying Homicide around the whole match. He absolutely folded Steiner in a sick ass German and Steiner returned the favor with one of his own. Hernandez pulled off a crazy rope clearing tope later on. Everyone was on a different page, D-Von stumbled around the ring like Nick Nolte any day of the week, Tomko was in New Japan mode, just punching and kicking every one and Homicide was in Ring of Honor mode, trying to go from spot to spot with no pause in between. Did he see who he was wrestling? This was an utter disaster.

8 Samoa Joe v. AJ Styles- 5
These guys had much better matches 2 years ago. AJ bumped himself into a coma and Joe turned up his stiffness quite a bit, but damn it the crowd just didn't seem to care. They put together a decent match and you could tell the familiarity with each other paid off. They may be perfect career opponents for each other as you can tell they know exactly how to work each other. Given a better crowd and more middle stuff, this could have been really good.

9 Christian Cage v. Kurt Angle v. Sting- 4
10 minutes for a World Title Match? Christian was like this He-Man punching bag i had as a kid, he just got knocked about the whole time back and forth. Sting took control for most of it and Angle was booked way too strong as he pummeled both men way too much. Sting took a pretty rough Angle slam out on the aisleway as Christian just played Silent Bob to Angle's Jay. The ending was pretty contrived and i didn't buy Sting tapping out to the anklelock so quickly.


Adam said...

That Death Match was all kinds of awesome!! Welcome aboard, Jessie!

Brian said...

yes, of course.. Stomper the fucking rat mascot.. - the only rat is in the back and it's name is Russo..

i dig the moby dick line.. and any literature-inspired references..

speaking of those punching bags that bopped around.. - i saw a ministry Undertaker one the other day and asked Amanda how'd she like it if she woke up with it staring at her from the side of the bed..