Thursday, July 10, 2008
Performer Analysis: Rey Mysterio
This category is made for Rey. He became the figurehead for the revolutionary Lucha Libre movement into the United States wrestling scene. It started in ECW, but didn't really take off until he was brought in with WCW and showcased so well. Rey's even revolutionary for Lucha Libred; his body size and daring heart broke new ground in the style and his innovation is continued to be felt there today.
2) Conditioning- 8/10
Who am I to accuse Rey of being on drugs or painkillers? All I can do is see the evidence and after watching this large Rey set of matches, he's noticeably bigger all around in WWE. But other than that, he is in very good shape. His frame gives him leeway to be able to pull off more amazing maneuvers but it also makes him more susceptible to injuries, especially in the last 6 or 7 years of his career. But, he has great stamina and has often worked long matches with exceptional speed and agility.
3) Workrate- 10/10
Rey is an awesome opponent for anyone. There are a handful of guys over the years who just can't gel with rey's style, but mostly Rey just has it talent enough to blend in well with most other workers. He's mostly a defensive guy who can sell extremely well even despite his wearing a mask and can bump with the best of them. His move set, while certainly not as impressive as it was in his early days, is still quite creative and innovative for a main eventer. Rey's a giving worker and that's why I'm sure you wouldn't have any problem finding people who would want to work with him.
4) Psychology- 7/10
As I said, despite wearing a mask, Rey is quite adapt at showing pain or joy or any range of emotion through his mask. He's a champ on selling offense, and making you believe he is being pulverized. He also knows how to rally a big comeback despite his lack of microphone charisma, he's extremely charismatic in his performance. He can give you the kind of beatdown that people can really get behind and I think that's his biggest strength.
5) Int/Promos- 5/10
Rey isn't really the promo guy; I mean he does his fair share of them, but I've always likened his mic skill as that of a little boy, who isn't the tough guy telling you all the stuff he's going to do to you but more like a kid trying to tell off a bully. They almost have their own little charm and kind of work on that level because obviously there's enough tough guys around and with Rey's size it would be completely absurd for him to behave like that.
6) Gimmick/Role- 8/10
Rey has a strong built in character- a Lucha Libre superstar that has transcened the genre to excel in the big time. I believe he is one of only a few masked performers to ever win the World Championship (I"m including Kane and Mankind in that.) His name was passed down from his uncle to him and it has a strong connotation. It used to have a lot to do with being mysterious and never knowing what he will do, but his character has evolved so much since then, it's hard to really describe him other than what I already have. I have to shave off a few points for Rey never having tried his hand at being a heel, but something tells me it wouldn't go over too well. Some guys are just always loved by the fans no matter what they do.
7) Fans- 10/10
People love Rey Rey and they always have. People love an underdog and Rey has always been the epitome of that. He's a big hit with kids, now the new basis of their marketing campaign towards that target audience. He strikes a chord with everyone because he's the little guy that can win, the engine that could and he plays the role to the hilt because it's almost a mirror image of his battle in real life of being a small athlete and still making it.
8) Basics- 7/10
This category is a different animal all together because Rey was trained in Mexico, which if you look at your basics of wrestling, your bumps, your rope running, your lockups, all of that stuff, along with your headlocks and transitions and your strikes, punches, kicks, etc. it should all be basically the same, but with Lucha Libre there's a whole different style. I'm guessing arm drags and hiptosses and headscissors are all engrained into your basic training. The cool thing about Lucha Libre is the falls system which pretty much makes it to where you don't have an ego because you're probably jobbing at least once a match even if you don't lose that much. But, Rey's basics are in tact; he runs the ropes like a pro, knows a decent amount (and displays it) of your basic scientific manuevers, has good kicks, so-so punches and can transition like a mofo so good score for him on this one.
9) Feud/Opp.- 7/10
Rey has gotten the chance to take on some of the industry's top names ever since traveling to America because he is such a unique performer so that's a big boost to him in this one. He's also wrestled the best in Mexico over the years so it's the best of both worlds, so he has a great mix of opponents he's gotten to wrestle; he's also had some famous programs, most notably with Psicosis, Juvi Guerrera, the late (and great) Eddie Guerrero, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle and Dean Malenko. Rey still has a lot of time left in his career to build that resume to even greater standards.
10)Gutcheck- 10/10
To be 140 pounds and be called (translated to English from Spanish) "The Hummingbird", to becoming WWE champion at their biggest show of the year is a major, major accomplishment. To be a man in a mask with none to very few mic skills in the biggest entertainment show in the business and still be the main man for at least 6 months is a big, big accomplishment. And I guarantee you no one would have ever believed Rey could have achieved that much success, probably not even Rey himself. But he did, and you have to have heart and perserverence to have made that dream a reality. This is a big man's business, a strong man's business, a politician's business and Rey Mysterio is none of those things; he's just that great of a performer and a very unique athlete that will always stand out in the anals of pro wrestling history.
Total: 82
Ranking: Legend
PO: Thumbs Middle
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
WWE 24/7 Shorties: I Quit
As they say in the biz, "two words, 5 letters" this is the review of the best of the I Quit matches, as heralded by WWE 24/7.
1) Terry Funk v. Jerry Lawler (AWA, 01/24/81 Empty Arena Match)- 4
This is worth seeking out just to see the oddity that this match is. We start in, obviously, an empty arena, the Mid-South Coliseum with Terry Funk coming out with an announcer and starts going on one of his famous belligerent rants about Lawler while the announcer makes up excuses for the "King" even citing, maybe he "is stuck in traffic." Well, after much cursing and swearing, Lawler shows up in a silver outfit with a silver cape and the tallest crown you've ever seen. This incites Funk to belittle him even more, telling him " you look like an idiot; have you seen what you're wearing?" in a moment that had me cracking up. They play this up as a legit fight, both men apprehensively circling each other and shouting out taunts. The first few times they lock up, it's quick and sloppy but finally they get to the action as it's apparent Funk came there to bump into ringside chairs and Lawler most certainly did not. The match really isn't even a match at all, nonetheless an I Quit match because it ends after Funk's homemade skewer ( a broken splinter from a ringside chair) is jammed into his eye, which bleeds like Dusty Rhodes whenever he squints his eyes. I see a lot of Foley's old mannerisms directly from Funk after watching this. It's entertaining but as far as wrestling action, there's little to none.
2) Ric Flair v. Mick Foley (Summerslam, Aug. 20, 2006)- 7
This was more of a spectacle than a match, but it had so much more going for it. Most fans know about the legit (at least at one time) heat between these two and it's basically all about repsect. Fans respect both guys, but they came about their fame in different ways and they have different philosophies about the business. It's beautiful to see them come together in this gorefest to prove their points. They both shred their flesh and pour buckets from their head during this somewhat short yet completely satisfying display of absolute barbarism. This is one of the nastiest matches that has been put on in sometime. Flair takes multiple shots from barbwire to the head and takes a back first thumbtack bump that absolutely makes him a human pin cushion. Foley gets tons of wire embedded in him with chops and back shots and arm shots. He looks like he put his arm in a turbine wheel by the end of this. There's that whole Foley-Melina angle going on at the time (which if you read Foley's 3rd autobiography, you know what I'm talking about) which gives him good incentive to quit but it's a cop out finish to me. Foley also takes a sick concrete bump and the ref calls the match off, to which Flair gets on the mic and tells him "this is an I Quit match, not a lay on your ass match!" Classic stuff.
3) Magnum TA v. Tully Blanchard (NWA Starrcade, 11/28/85 Steel Cage Match)- 7
I just reviewed this match not too long ago as part of Starrcade 85, a bloody and brutal affair and I hold true to my rating of this match. I'd say this was a turning point in both man's careers: Tully was one of the best technical guys at the time, but he wanted to have some puss-spewing fun in a dirty cage match and Magnum was uber-babyface at this point but wanted to show his sadistic side and cut a guy open. The cage match didn't hamper either man and they worked it well; but as I said in my past review, the finish is the best; a true homage to street fighting when it was still fun. This is worth seeking out.
4) Shane Douglas v. Pitbull #1 (ECW Hostile City Showdown 03/15/97)- 3
The premise of this match makes perfect sense: Douglas broke Pitbull#1's neck now he's healed and he wants revenge. Either the Pitbull is a genuis, or just a bumbling idiot: he tries to powerbomb Douglas and loses his grip, and drops him stiffly on his neck, which psychology wise would make perfect sense, but I'm guessing it's he's just dumb. At one point he tries to do a hurricanrana on Douglas through a table, but Franchise just bounces off like a rock skipping a pond in a unintentionally funny spot. Francine helps coordinate the submission by attacking the timekeeper with a belt then orchestrating the other Triple Threat members to hold his partner hostage by the neck until he gave up. This was a really sloppyily excecuted affair.
5) The Rock v. Mankind (WWF Royal Rumble, 01/24/99)- 6
The thing about this era of WWE is that emphasis on workrate was very low, so when you had a match like this, it sticks out in everybody's mind becuase it goes beyond the call of duty. Even saying that, the workrate in this wasn't very high but as a spectacle match, it was pretty fun. Foley kills himself in his first major ppv appearance as WWE Champion. This is also at the height of Rock's heel role, as he plays up a lot of comedy in this, such as stealing Michael Cole's headset and singing and stuff. There is a botched Rock Bottom through a table because it breaks right before Rock is about to do the move, but basically they just go to the next spot. This is also where, if memory fails you, Foley gets knocked off of a ledge onto the huge electrical circuit towers and blacks out the arena. The bump is legit, but the setup to it is so completely contrived, you could see it coming from a mile away. Rock's acting was still subpar here as Shane O Mac comes out and tells them to call it off. We pretty much go to the finish after that, which is also very infamous, as depicted in "Beyond the Mat" Barry Blaustein's homage to pro wrestling where Rock gives Foley way more unprotected chair shots to the head than planned. You can see Rock going off script and really taking liberties with Foley's cranium in a kind of disturbing image. Foley is bleeding very badly and then you have your very typical Russo finish. This is a mixed bag but I think overall, they've had better matches against each other.
6) The Rock v. Triple H (WWF Raw, 01/25/99)- 3
This was the following night on Raw, after Rock's win over Mankind- Joey Styles intro'd this match saying the Rock was the only man in Sports Entertainment history to do back to back I Quit matches- well, if fucking Karl Gotch could have had this little to do in the ring, I'm sure he could have pulled it off too. This started out in ring with both guys hitting all their setup spots, then it turned into a tame brawl around ringside. Helmsley's slime green tights were giving me flashbacks to the failed Sega Genesis release "Boogerman" and I think I would have rather played that than to have objectively grade this match. The end came when Chyna was held hostage and Trips had to quit to save his man-hoe. Then she turned on him immediately afterwards. It's sad when Stephanie McMahon is considered a hotter piece of ass than someone, but my god, she sure is compared to Chyna. I forgot how broad her cheekbones were.
7) Ric Flair v. Terry Funk (NWA Clash of Champions IX, 11/15/89)- 8
This was a rip roaring good time and shows Flair in his really, really stellar crazy ass brawling phase. He's all over Funk like he just gave his daughter AIDS, jumping on him from out of camera frame, chopping and blistering his chest and punching him right in the teeth at every available instant. Funk is just looney here, flipping over the guard rails at the slightest touch, taking bumps left and right including a scene right out of a wild west movie where Flair throws him across a table like he's being thrown down the top of a bar; i half expected a prostitute wearing a frilly black teddy to be there at the end and smash a beer bottle over his head. This was the culmination to their red hot supernova feud that took up most of Flair's time in 1989 and probably one of Funk's better runs, him being the desperado of pro wrestling and moving from one feud or promotion to the next. There's nothing boring or staged about this and it truly feels like a feud ending match. And there's a clean finish to this, which you can't say for much of anything else on this disc; Funk puts Flair over with the figure four and says the two words then shakes his hand after the match. Truly classic.
8) Tommy Dreamer v. The Sandman (ECW 10/03/94)- 6
This is set in the early days of the extreme hardcore fed, where a guy wearing green suspenders actually got over. Putting Tommy Dreamer's almost pitiful fashion sense aside, this is fairly hard hitting and enjoyable. Dreamer brings the body of a '79 Pontiac with him to the ring and proceeds to pound Sandman's somewhat sober head in with it. Of course there's sloppy brawling, but there are also well defined garbage spots that had sort of pre-match thought put into them instead of just grabbing a table and jumping through it for no reason. Fans contribute to the carnage via many sharped-edged implements and there is your token female interference. But, the finish of this pushes it over the recommendable line as it's a true I Quit finish where Dreamer finally gets control of Sandman's cane and errantly hits him in the eye with it as Sandman was about to take a drag off his fag (cigarette). The cancer inducting carcinogen burns his ocular appendage and a nice amount of red blood oozes from the wound. It's kind of gory and reminded me of Funk's eye injury earlier on the disc. There's some nice drama that ensues as Dreamer seems legitamately concerned about what he just did. Sandman definitley screams I Quit due to extreme pain, which is what the match is all about.
9) Justin Credible v. Jerry Lynn (ECW 06/15/98)- 5
This match was the other one that technically wasn't an I Quit match in the sense that everything else on the disc was. This was basically worked as a submission match that you had to say I quit to lose although no microphone was used to embarrass the guy that was going to say it. This was pretty fast paced with some good sequences that used going into a submission as the crux of each of them. Lynn trying to apply an anklelock was kind of laughable; looked like Captain Hook trying to unscrew the lid of a peanut butter jar. Credible, as always, pussed out on some bumps over the top rope and sold them by looking up at the ring apron. Lynn got the win with a pretty cool washboard stretch in kind of a quiet match in their feud.
10) John Cena v. JBL (Judgment Day 2005, May 22)- 8
Okay, now we bring out the big guns: Brian had heralded this match to me as an amazing spectacle which I've always taken his word on matches and such, but Cena v. JBL? The match starts out as most any WWE-style main event would with some in ring stuff that led outside where JBL took a backdrop on a table that he landed on ass first. I hadn't laughed that hard since my drunken cousin got pissed and charged into me where my awaiting foot went directly into his crotch. But, then Cena takes a legit chair shot to the head and pours out money making puddles of dark blood and the match takes a different turn. JBL gets really sickly violent and they start working some Japanese-style sequences in the ring with Cena just bleeding all his blood and guts out. Then, they go back to the entrance area where there's more plunder waiting for them than on the set of Extreme Elimination Challenge! They use TV's, car hoods, car doors, tables, chairs, tail pipes and most any other random object you could think of to bludgeon and bruise each other. Cena, in a seemingly improvised spot, uses JBL's prone body to break the passenger door off of his limo and use it to wobberleg JBL in a really cool creative spot. JBL bleeds buckets too but not like Cena who looked like he barely survived an evening with Leatherface. Just massive amounts of dried blood and gore rest on Cena's face at the end and it definitley upped the dramatic factor. JBL gives up due to not wanting to take any more punishment then takes a pussy prat fall through a wall of glass in an aftermatch activity that was pretty lame in execution, even though it was a good idea in general. I was hoping he would propel himself backwards through the limb cutting prop like Tomoaki Honma of Big Japan fame would, for my general enjoyment. But overall, you could see the flashes of brilliance in Cena's game because he's not the most technical guy for sure, but he knows how to work a main event match and he's quickly becoming a guy who delivers almost every time out. this was a awesome main event and they worked the gimmick well- go out of your way to find this!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
WCW Monday Nitro - January 2000
WCW Monday Nitro – 1/3/00
1) Buzzkill & Mike Rotundo vs. The Harris Boys – 1
2) PG-13 vs. Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner – 0
3) David Flair & Crowbar vs. Lash LeRoux & Midnight – 1
4) Buff Bagwell vs. Norman Smiley & Asya – Handicap Match – 2
5) Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner vs. The Harris Boys – 0
6) Buff Bagwell & Vampiro vs. David Flair & Crowbar – 2
7) Sid Vicious vs. Jeff Jarrett – Powerbomb Match – 2
8) Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner vs. David Flair & Crowbar – 2
This show had so much shit going on all the time I don’t even know where to start. The whole episode was based around two things, the lethal lottery tag team tournament and the announcement of a new commissioner.
First out of the gate, we get Buzzkill, who is nothing but a Road Dogg rip-off, teaming up with Mike Rotundo against the Harris Boys. The end saw Standards and Practices haul away Leia Meow who was jumping on a trampoline during the match and the Harris Boys get the win. Next up was PG-13 who got randomly destroyed by DDP before the match even started. Nash and Steiner casually walked up and got the pin to send PG-13 back for a re-rating. The third tag match had a lot of problems. First, Stevie Ray did commentary, talked crap about Booker T and Midnight, and then brawled with them. While the brawl took place on one side, Vito and Johnny the Bull came out and cost LeRoux the match with a run-in. The quarterfinal round of the tournament closed out with Norman Smiley, who was dressed in a giant dog costume, and Asya, battling Buff Bagwell and Kanyon. However, before the match, Bagwell decked Kanyon with a champagne bottle and went at it alone and won.
Next up was the announcement of the commissioner, which turned out to be Terry Funk. The fans were clearly chanting “We Want Flair!” and Funk came out to no response. He then announced Arn Anderson as his second in command and then they cut a promo on the n.W.o. (Hart, Nash, Jarrett, and Steiner) which was then interrupted by the aforementioned baddies. Nash threatened to kidnap David Flair (hint, hint!) for some reason.
Next up, Nash and Steiner came back out the face the Harris Boys. Right after the bout started, the Rotundo and Rick Steiner ran out and whacked the Harris’ and then Nash got a quick pin in a nothing match. The other semi-final bout looked promising on paper but, as was the tone of the night, became riddled with interference. Arn and Funk, who were looking for David so they could keep him out of the hands of the n.W.o., realized he was in the ring so they tried to talk some sense into him. Vampiro took exception and was unceremoniously decked by Funk and Flair and Crowbar got another fluke win.
The powerbomb match was a pile of crap with more interference and just plain douchebaggery. The finals of the tournament saw Arn run down with a ref shirt and screw over Nash and Steiner. The best thing about it was that Steiner was just sitting at the commentary table, talking nonsense, and wasn’t paying attention to anything and was utterly shocked when Schaivone shouted “Arn just hit Nash!”. Flair and Crowbar got a win and the tag titles. Afterwards, Arn got kidnapped and stuffed in a car trunk.
WCW Monday Nitro – 1/10/00
1) Dean Malenko & Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman & Konnan vs. David Flair & Crowbar – Falls Count Anywhere Match – 3
2) Jeff Jarrett vs. George “The Animal” Steele – Bunkhouse Match – 1
3) Jeff Jarrett vs. Tito Santana – Dungeon Match – 3
4) Jeff Jarrett vs. Superfly Jimmy Snuka – Steel Cage Match – 2
5) Bret Hart vs. Kevin Nash – 5
The three way match was painfully short and was the only match in the first 45 minutes of the show. Given more time, the three teams involved could’ve had a good match but, alas, twas not to be. The highlight was Saturn doing an elbow drop from the top of the seats on to Rey Jr. (who wasn’t even involved) and through a table that had obvious padding under it. This was followed up by a segment with Terry Funk and his gang (Zbyszko, Arn, and Orndorff) and the n.W.o. where Funk had no clue what he was talking about and neither did anyone else. The only purpose it served was to set up the remaining matches for the show.
The three encounters that Jarrett had with the legends were all reffed by Benoit, who was supposed to be Jarrrett’s opponent at the Souled Out pay-per-view. The bunkhouse match was shit with the only notable thing being Tony Schaivone marking out over Steele eating a turnbuckle. Santana looked good in his match but the finish was almost the same as the Steele match. One of Funk’s cronies ran-in, Benoit didn’t do anything about it, and Jarrett does the job. Lastly, the cage match with Snuka wasn’t bad when they were actually wrestling. However, just like the previous two bouts, the finish had Benoit beat up Jarrett, a Funk cronie came in, and there was a sick double spot from the top of the cage from both Benoit and Snuka.
Of all the Bret/Nash matches I’ve seen, this one has to be at the bottom of the list. Not because of the work, which was good, but because of the context of how the match was set-up. The reason they were fighting was because Terry Funk said that they would. Ok, great. Then the match was made into a title match. Umm, not so sure about that. When you have your champion (Bret) defending against one of his n.W.o. comrades six days before a big match at a pay-per-view, you know you’ll get some kind of screwy finish, which is exactly what happened. The work in the match was fine. Bret was working over Nash’s knees and Nash spent the whole match trying to fight back. Ultimately, the match was ruled a no-contest when some people ran-in (I want to say it was Jarrett and Steiner breaking up the fight but I can’t exactly remember). It received a “5” based on the ring work and most likely would’ve gotten a “6” had it not been for the screwy finish in what turned out to be Bret’s last match ever.
WCW Monday Nitro – 1/17/00
1) Billy Kidman vs. Psychosis – 5
2) Big T vs. Booker T – 2
3) Vampiro vs. Disco Inferno – 4
4) Shane Helms & Shannon Moore vs. David Flair & Crowbar – 4
5) The Maestro vs. Tank Abbott – 0
6) Mike Rotundo & Rick Steiner vs. Masa Hiro Chono & Super J – 4
7) Sid Vicious vs. The Wall – 3
8) Lex Luger vs. Bam Bam Bigelow – 3
9) Diamond Dallas Page vs. Buff Bagwell (Special ref: Kimberly) – 5
The night after the disastrous “Souled Out” pay-per-view and we jump right into the action. Kidman and Psychosis was a fun opener. I remember a fantastic guillotine legdrop from Psychosis and some good work by Kidman. The announcers were putting Kidman over huge from his three matches the night before. The Booker and Big T match was an impromptu brawl. Big T is the former Ahmed Johnson and came out sporting a fanny pack with Stevie Ray. Booker fought the bout in street clothes but lost when Big T pulled out a foreign object from the fanny pack. Vampiro and Disco had a completely acceptable match but interference from Vito and Johnny backfired and cost Disco the match. The first tag match started off super hot. Helms and Moore were flying all over the place in the first minute or so of the match. The finish saw Evan Karagias, who was at ringside, chase Daffney, and the Flair hit Evan with a crowbar (the tool, not the wrestler). Afterwards, is a Tank Abbott/Maestro match that goes all of ten seconds. Then Norman Smiley ran down to face Tank but then backed into Meng who stared down Tank.
Kicking off the second half of the show was a “State of WCW” address by Kevin Nash, who had defeated Terry Funk the night before to become the commissioner. He laid down a series of ridiculous “rules” that were nothing but a bunch of insider jokes. Steiner looked seriously gassed after only two minutes in and had trouble completing anything more complicated that a clothesline. Chono and Super J (the former n.W.o Sting) made a formidable team that could’ve had a better match against opponents who weren’t aging, although Rotundo looked halfway decent. Sid and The Wall was a fun match and would’ve gotten a better score had they not cut to the back in the middle of the match! Nash sent Disco, Vito, and Johnny the Bull to beat up Sid after the match but it didn’t work as everyone but Disco was summarily destroyed. Bigelow and Luger had a decent bout but nothing out of the ordinary. The main was DDP and Bagwell with Kimberly as the ref. The main focus of the DDP/Bagwell storyline was Kimberly and the question of the match was “who would she side with”? There was a standard, pointless crowd brawl and a few random hardcore spots but I actually somewhat enjoyed the match. Oh, and that question about Kimberly, it never was answered.
WCW Monday Nitro – 1/24/00
1) Kaz Hayashi vs. Psychosis – 3
2) The Wall vs. Kid Romeo – 3
3) Norman Smiley vs. Shannon Moore – 3
4) Tank Abbott vs. Al Greene – 1
5) Terry Funk vs. Bam Bam Bigelow – Hardcore Match – 3
6) Sid Vicious vs. Don Harris – 4
7) Billy Kidman vs. Vampiro – 5
8) Booker T vs. Lex Luger – 4
9) Fit Finlay & Brian Knobbs vs. The Mamalukes – 2
10) Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash – 4
The first bout was the kick-off of the cruiserweight title tournament and was very sloppy. Juvi did some mic work prior to the match where he ripped off The Rock’s catchphrases and then loitered about in Psychosis’ corner throughout the bout. The Wall ended up squashing Kid Romeo after Romeo got in some offense in the middle of the bout. Bobby Heenan was cracking Shakespeare jokes as well. Smiley and Moore were thrown in for some filler. The match was somewhat competitive and could’ve been better had they not been pressed for time. Greene was sent out by Scott Hall and Scott Steiner for his “big shot” against Tank. The bout lasted all of a minute and Tank knocked out Greene to send him packing back to the Saturday night show. Afterwards, Tank punked out a guy in the crowd named Big Al. Funk, having been in the semi-main on a pay-per-view just eight days prior, was thrown into a mid-card hardcore match with Bigelow. My how the mighty have fallen. The match started in the back where they brawled and hit each other with random objects. The finish saw Fit Finlay and Brian Knobbs run-in for an unknown reason help Funk win.
The second half of matches kicked off with what was deemed a “roadblock match” between Sid and Don Harris. Sid had to beat Don to get a shot at Nash in the main event for the World Title. Sid seemed motivated and the match was decent. I remember reading about the finish in the book “Death of WCW” where Ron switched places with Don and Sid pinned the wrong brother. Kidman and Vampiro had a solid match which I would go so far as to say was the best match of the show. The near-falls were great and really got me intrigued. Luger and Booker is an interesting match-up on paper and was interesting in the ring as well. The bout was brief (5-6 minutes) but what was there was fun and different. David Flair, Crowbar, and Daffney ran off the announcers and called the tag match by themselves. I thought it took a lot away from the match as I wasn’t able to concentrate because they ended up being the main focus. Finlay and Knobbs had some hard strikes and the Mamalukes looked overmatched. The main event saw Sid beat Nash to win the vacant World Title. Jarrett ran down with a guitar after a ref bump but Sid stole it and hit Nash and then feigned as if he was hit. He crawled over with the worst acting this side of “Gigli” and pinned Nash to win the title. One episode to go.
WCW Monday Nitro - 1/31/00
1) Lash LeRoux vs. Evan Karagias – 4
2) David Flair & Crowbar vs. The Mamalukes – Bensonhurst Street Fight – 4
3) Booker T vs. Big T – 0
4) Billy Kidman vs. The Wall – 3
5) Brian Knobbs vs. Lex Luger (Special ref: Fit Finlay) – 1
6) Shane Helms vs. Norman Smiley – 3
7) Diamond Dallas Page vs. Disco Inferno – 4
8) Jeff Jarrett & The Harris Brothers vs. Sid Vicious & Terry Funk – Handicap Match – 4
Mark Madden is subbing for Bobby Heenan on this show. Damn! Lash and Evan had a fun match with Lash picking up the win. The match was nothing extraordinary but it was competitive. The street fight was a lot of fun. I really dug the spontaneity involved with the start as Flair and Crowbar were attacked during an interview and everyone brawled out into the snow. Once it got to the ring, it degenerated into a typical hardcore match with road cones, clubs, and other plunder. Booker T came out for his match but was then verbally assaulted by Stevie Ray, Big T, and J. Biggs (the former Clarence Mason) about the rights to his music and, get this, to the letter “T”. Booker assaulted Biggs with an assist from Midnight and was then beat down by Stevie and Big T. Next up, was a long, long interview from Ric Flair where he talked about returning and being offered the commissioner’s job. He called out Terry Funk and the two had a verbal sparring match where Funk pulled out some jargon he used in his 1989 feud with Flair.
Kidman and The Wall had a rematch from the Souled Out pay-per-view but it wasn’t near as good. Kidman was showing off some cool skills, though. I was actually looking forward to the Knobbs/Luger match but the story with Finlay turning on Knobbs quickly made me sour on it. Smiley came out dressed as The Demon and made quick work of Helms. Afterwards, police officers and the Demon, in boxers I might add, chased off Norman through the crowd. DDP and Disco was a very impromptu match which was a lot of fun. It started when Disco was accused of whacking Kimberly on the ass during and interview and then they just started brawling. They brawled through the curtain, into the crowd, and finally back into the ring where DDP hit the Diamond Cutter for the win. The spontaneity really had a lot to do with me liking the match. Flair was supposed to tag up with Sid and Funk for the main event but never showed up leaving it two-on-three. Schaivone was pleading throughout the match for Flair to show up and when he finally did, he went straight for Funk. The show ended with Jarrett and the Harris Brothers victorious.
Monday, July 7, 2008
The Most Powerful Families in Wrestling - Disc 2
2. Kevin, Kerry, and David Von Erich vs. Ten Gu, Bill Irwin, and Frank Dusek - 4
3. Blackjack Mulligan and Blackjack Mulligan Jr. vs. Jim Nelson and Ricky Harris - 3
4. Jack and Gerald Brisco vs. Ricky Steamboat and Jay Youngblood - 5
5. Chavo, Mando, and Hector Guerrero vs. Mike Enos, Tom Burton, and Krusher Krugnoff - 4
6. Bret, Bruce, Owen, and Keith Hart vs. Shawn Michaels and His Knights - 5
7. Dusty and Dustin Rhodes vs. Bunkhouse Buck and Terry Funk - 3
8. Public Enemy vs. Terry and Dory Funk Jr. - 4
9. Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan - 4
10. Ivan and Scott Puski vs. Jerry Lawler and Brian Christopher - 3
11. Eddie and Chavo Guerrero vs. Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin - 6
12. Randy Orton vs. The Undertaker - 7
I’m writing this on July 4th and I’m at my job in a shopping mall, things are hectic, so I’m just going to try to dive in and give some observations on this disc. So, the first disc isn’t worth the effort of seeking out, but I’d give the second disc a mild recommendation to at least borrow from a fellow fan, as there’s a couple choice bouts and some interesting ones, too. I’m going to bypass referencing Adam’s past analysis of this set, which I did in my disc one review, to save on time and prevent further dissection of my buddy. Let’s talk about wrestling, shall we?
The Orton’s in action is from CWF which is slowly becoming a favorite territory of mine, granted, my knowledge and access to stuff from the Pacific Northwest and central European countries is limited, so perhaps later I’ll reevaluate my territorial rankings. It’s great to see Bob Jr. work, as Piper is prone to say, Orton was a genius in the ring, and it’s obvious he’s Randy’s father as both of their dramatic sells are immaculate. Bob Sr. is an old school hooker and I’d like to see a homemade comp. of him stretching punks. The WCCW match from Star Wars ’81 is wild, they use two rings and the space in-between is a neutral area where you can tag in and out of to enter the ring of your choice—it’s a bizarre concept that doesn’t really work wonders but is fun watching fall apart before your eyes. There’s not enough emphasis on David in this for my tastes, nor Ten Gu’s general dastardliness, but it’s not terrible.
Watching Blackjack and Jr. (Barry Windham) teaming together was a real hoot. Blackjack Sr. had some really good right hand shots that had me cringing on the couch. The following tag from Starrcade ’83 is really athletic and a nice change of pace, unfortunately at this point formerly surly Jack Brisco had lost his edge, so this is a little south of the recommendable category, but moderately good none the less. The highlight for me was a remarkably clean and simple ending. The Guerrero boys look great in their AWA TV match, so this is a real blast to watch, but I can’t score at any higher as its clearly just an exhibition of their high flying arsenal and not much more.
The match from Survivor Series ’93, including pre-match hoopla, runs nearly 45 minutes so it’s an endurance test. Still, it holds up better than I recollected, as it’s neat to see all of the Hart brothers’ together in-ring for a special reunion match. Also, Greg Valentine is one of the masked knights of Michaels’ and it’s fun seeing him work snug and stiff with the Canadian bros. while sporting a ridiculous costume. The following tag match was from a Clash of the Champions from ’94 and is fun while it lasts. A lot of matches are structured where the heels will work over the faces to build up heat and anxiety, but here the good guys, Dusty and son Dustin, just whip the asses of Buck and Funk all around the ring. Interference ruins this one, as Arn Anderson gets involved, and later, Meng, who gets a wooden prop chair broken over his afro.
The ECW match is from Hostile City Showdown ’94 and isn’t very good. I tossed it a bonus point for the sheer weirdness of the two teams involved competing against each other, but truthfully, they mailed this shit in. The brawling, especially the stuff with chairs, is really awful. However, I do like the structure and dynamic, where first off the Funk’s are the old school bad asses and rough up the local punks, but later, the roles are reversed and it’s Philly’s finest beating up the veterans. Also of note, Terry does hogtie Rocco and toss him off a balcony.
Rocky and Sultan is from WrestleMania 13 and for a mid-card throwaway bout it’s fairly effective and inoffensive. Sultan does the bulk of the work, Honky Tonk Man is on commentary and is terrible, and Rocky Johnson gets involved in the finish and has an in-ring grope with his burly son afterwards. The following tag is from an episode of Monday Night Raw and is pretty forgettable. Christopher’s highly characterized sells were surprisingly enjoyable, but the rest of this is just stale as the heels beat down Scott until he tags his decrepit father who does his patented “Polish Hammer” for the win. I heard Scott gave Missy Hyatt is “Polish Hammer” once in a locker room shower.
The next tag is from a ’03 episode of Smackdown! and is purely delicious. Both teams look good, with the edge going to Los Guerrero’s, who are fluent and totally remind you of why you loved them as spicy pricks you couldn’t help but root for. The Guerrero’s get the win and championship belts in a thrilling finish, as they crush poor Charlie with a combination of a brainbuster and huge frog splash. Orton and Taker from Summerslam ’05 was stellar. I’m going to Summerslam ’08 in Indianapolis next month and I’d love nothing more than an Undertaker return to in-ring action that night. I’m dying for a Taker versus DH Smith feud. Anyway, as I stated, this match is really good, and you’ve got to tip your hat off to both guys. Undertaker starts steadily in control and Randy looks scared, but as the contest wears on Orton starts destroying Taker, working on the big man’s legs, etc. and as his confidence starts building Orton becomes a different animal altogether. Shit, some lady just came into the store and tried to get me to find a wood finish that’d match her daughter’s old wood furniture from who knows when, as if I’m some type of bed knowledge machine and can just make particular colors, stains, and finishes appear out of thin air. And fuck, Randy Orton in-ring psychology is much more important, right? Undertaker is as good as it gets in big match situations and Orton, even three years ago, was already showing signs of greatness. The ebbs and flows of this match are like parasailing the Nile, or, drinking an Angelina Love bath water spritzer—you owe it to yourself to see it.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Audio Review: WCW Clash of the Champions XXXIV
Saturday, July 5, 2008
The Most Powerful Families in Wrestling - Disc 1
2. Curt Hennig vs. Greg Gagne - 3
3. The Bushwhackers vs. The Rougeaus - 4
4. Barry and Kendall Windham vs. Lex Luger and Michael Hayes - 1
The documentary portion of this DVD leaves me a bit discontented. Fellow writer Adam reviewed this set almost a year ago, so occasionally I’m going to reference his analysis, as after looking at it we definitely saw some things differently and I think comparisons can be beneficial when done correctly. Back to my problems with the documentary, when Adam looked at it, he summed it up in one sentence, followed by saying, “What … you’re expecting me to talk more about it? Well, there is really much else left to tell.” I disagree, sir. First, the good news, mainly at topping out at almost two-and-a half hours this is a decent-sized documentary. I have tremendous respect for all of these families and felt obligated to watch each and every second of footage, even though a lot of the documentary seems too familiar, especially if you’ve seen some of the other WWE releases. But, hearing regurgitated stories about The Rock isn’t my biggest complaint. My major concern is there’s one important family completely ignored… the Armstrong’s. Yes, I would have liked to seen the Poffo’s and Jarrett’s honored, mention of The Sheik and Sabu, more than a passing reference to Dustin Rhodes, and Jake Roberts and his father Grizzly Smith shown the proper respect. But ultimately, there’s no excuse for not even mentioning the Armstrong’s, especially when arguably less influential families like the Putski’s get their due, and there’s even a joke segment on “questionable families” like the Moondogs, Holly’s, Smoking Gunns, etc.
There’s not a lot of wrestling on the first disc, but what is featured is mostly entertaining if nothing else. The first match is from WWWF TV, which I’ve always enjoyed, but I’m assuming Adam doesn’t feel the same, or in the least doesn’t respect some of its lesser known featured talent, as his description of wrestler Ali Baba is as follows, “Ali Baba looked like he took a break from sucking camels in the desert to sucking in the ring.” Ouch! Well, Adam’s disrespectful stab aside, I’ll give you my take on Ali, while he’s announced as being from Turkey it’s apparent he resides in a southern trailer park, but as far as his work goes, I’m digging the barefoot look and he busts out one of the nicer nerve pinches I’ve ever seen, plus bumps good to Maivia’s unorthodox uppercuts. Strongbow is all Three Stooges gags in this one, and it’s clear the good guys are in a fun mood, including Maivia’s ukulele performance pre-match. The heels are constantly cheating, Baba with a rope used for choking and Scicluna a foreign object he jabs with, which gets redundant and annoying, especially since they get lazy and don’t even try to hide it from the ref.
Hennig and Gagne is fun to watch, but its clipped, so we only get the last seven minutes or so. Hennig is mostly in control, working over Gagne aggressively, probably taking liberties with the boss’ son. There’s a couple nice strike exchanges, including a decent throwdown outside the ring at one point. The ref gets distracted and Verne leaves his crypt to do a run-in, popping Curt in the face leading to a Gagne victory.
The next match Adam really hated, but I think it’s the best off the first disc. Adam made a few interesting comments on his review, so I’ll refer to a couple, starting with, “I haven’t seen this much stalling since the last time I took a piss in the bathroom at work.” That sounds like a personal problem, dude. All joking aside, I didn’t see the match laid out in a way where what was happening was stalling, or at least it never dragged in that manner, as for a twelve-minute match this told a pretty straightforward story. Next, Adam says, “I never liked the Bushwhackers and I never will. I’m not sure exactly how they’re supposed to entertain me but they’re not.” At first glance, I can almost see where Adam’s going here, but I challenged my preexisting assumptions and checked them at the door when watching this. When I first saw The Bushwhackers, I thought, “oh, there’s The Bushwhackers”, just liked I’d think, oh, that’s just a car, a tree, a dilapidated building, etc. But then I decided, instead of resting on my unclear and disputably accurate past memories, I’d actually watch their work closely for the first time, as during their run I was a child and not at all knowledgeable or even aware of “workrate.” The result? They’re not that bad! Yes, they’re full of shtick, especially when on TV, but this is from an arena show, so they’ve got a little more artistic freedom. Butch’s selling of some kicks to the abdomen were questionable, like he was stepping on bees, but Luke was a million, billion stars here. Hell, ROH should bring back their Pure Title, put that motherfucker on Bushwhacker Luke and run youngsters like Tyler Black, Rhett Titus, and Mitch Franklin at him for the rest of the year. Lastly, Adam adds, “Typical Bushwhackers match which means there is nothing to see.” Again, to counterpoint, I’d argue to give this match a fair shot and take a look at it for yourself—you may just enjoy it.
Lastly is a real quick NWA TV match, it only lasts about two minutes, as it was a set-up for Hayes to turn heel on his partner Luger. Strangely, Adam gave this match a 4, albeit admitting, “To be honest, I can't really remember anything that happened.” Could that be because you didn’t watch it? Tell me you didn’t leave the room to go make some macaroni and cheese and left the DVD on, man? Again, all ribbing aside, this is a throwaway bout, but I can’t hand over, per this project’s title, and can only give it the lowest available score. To watch Luger for only ninety-seconds is still interesting, some wrestlers do a lot with their fingers, indicate pain (Rey Mysterio) or reprimand (Hogan), and Luger’s the same, his fingers flicking like a drug addict before he locks up, but in reality its his eagerness to compete, a very tiny detail that I applaud. I’m not sure yet if I’ll tackle the second disc of this set, but if not, from what’s presented here I’d say you can safely avoid this release without feeling you’ve missed out on too much.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Rey Mysterio: The Biggest Little Man - Disc 3
23) Rey v. Eddie Guerrero (Judgment Day, 05/22/05)- 5
This was a kind of setup match designed to prolong this feud. Eddie was at possibly his most sinister here and this was the beginning of the fight for Dominic, which a lot of people really hated, even though it did huge TV numbers. This was more of a methodical beat down which Rey controlled a lot more of the offense than you would think. Eddie seemed to be back peddling looking for cheap ways to take the tide of the match, therefore ending in a DQ. They would have better inside this feud.
24) Rey v. Eddie Guerrero (Smackdown, 06/23/05)- 8
Wow! As Brian said, don't think I've ever seen a Smackdown match this good! The psych was deep here as you had a back and forth battle the whole way. The commercial breaks actually worked here (for once) and split this match into 3 sections, one where Rey was pissed on and on offense, one where Eddie came back and used great heel tactics to ground Rey, and the finale which had both men doing everything they could to win the match. It was fought as if this was the defining battle of the feud and of their careers. Too many highspots to mention but this was every bit as good as their Halloween Havoc match and it was in a completely different style. Kudos guys!
25) Rey v. Shawn Michaels (Eddie Guerrero Tribute Show, 11/14/05)- 4
This was a neat idea, but I don't this this pair works. Michaels always has a way of (over)selling things to make them look especially good and he certainly did that with the 619. There were some miscues on here but the legdrop finish was expertly executed even if it was out of nowhere. This didn't really have time to develop into anything really good, but how could you expect even these two to pull off something great with Eddie passing just over the weekend.
26) Rey v. Kurt Angle v. Randy Orton (Wrestlemania 22)- 5
This was quick and action packed! Nine minutes of sweet action but unlike the Eddie Havoc match earlier, no story was really developed here unless you count Rey getting the opportunity to fight for the belt because of Eddie's passing, but enough using him for storyline purposes! All 3 guys were firing on all cylinders but it's hard to see how anyone is selling anything when they flop outside of the ring after every offensive move, even though I did see Orton holding his jaw after an errant Angle forearm. Rey took a nice stomach bump outside.
27) Rey v. JBL (Judgment Day, 05/21/06)- 5
I'm no fan of JBL, i think I've made that apparent in past reviews, but here he worked the big bully role very well. He was the challenger and this was the time when Rey was champion and they made him job to every big guy they had on the roster. Brilliant. Well, he got split here and you could see the blood coming from under the mask (which was white and is always a good contrast when you have juice) so the drama factor was ratcheted up a bit. But, how can you expect JBL to sell Rey's offense appropriately? He always just falls down like a chopped tree with no thought to what just happened. Rey gets the win and I'm sure he was happy to get the hell out of the ring that night.
28) Rey v. Chavo Guerrero (Falls Count Anywhere, No Mercy, 10/08/07)- See No Mercy 2007 review
29) Rey v. Chavo Guerrero (I Quit Match, Smackdown, 10/20/06)- 6
I missed this match when it originally aired and while really fun, it's not as wild as the falls count anywhere, but it is longer and has more hate filled shit in it. The brawling part pales in comparison to what they did at No Mercy but both guys are laying their shots in and when you have two guys this size, it looks good to fire some off on someone else that size. The finish is pretty hardcore, if you take away the fact that he obviously was missing with several of those chair shots into the metal girder. Rey says the stupidest thing after this match, while standing on a beach, " I may have quit.....but I didn't want to." Who cares? You said it, what does your internal struggle at the time have to do with it? Anyways, another good outing between these two.
Overall, the people they lock away in the tape room that put this DVD package together did a stellar job with what they presented us. There was barely anything under a 5 on this DVD and for nearly 30 matches that says a lot, not only about what you get for the money you paid for this thing, but for Rey's career in general. I would highly recommend this if you're a fan of great ring action.