Brutus Magnus vs. Brother Ray (New York Street Fight) - 2
Ray just beats the shit out of ol’ Brutus with stiff chops and hard punches. Once they get in the ring and Ray pulls out a table, we get interference from all these foreign dudes, namely Kiyoshi, Bashir, Doug Williams, and Rob Terry, who give Ray a terrible beat down until D-Von comes in and clears house with a chair. Terry takes a good chair shot, falls like a tree, and Kiyoshi gets put through a table for a no contest ruling. Huh? A three-minute brawl that ends in a no contest? Had there actually been a finish, it would’ve gotten another point, but nooooo … this is TNA, where clean finishes don’t exist on TV.
Kevin Nash vs. Abyss – 3
Nash did a lot of corner work, mainly with knees to the guts and some back elbows. Nash was a stringbean compared to Abyss, I mean damn, it looked like he’d been on a diet of lettuce and water for three months. Not a big fan of this goofy Abyss character, liked him a lot better and an unstoppable monster when he was paired up with Jim Mitchell. Chair gets brought into the bout by Nash and he hits the post with a wild swing. Abyss gets the chair and brings it in the ring. Then, Stevie runs down and “tazers” Abyss with some of the most bullshit sound effects I’ve ever heard. Nash just casually covers Abyss. Decent little match and Nash looked pretty good. The only time the tazer shit ever worked was when Hall did it to Goldberg in 1998.
Taylor Wilde vs. Daffney (Match of 1,000 Tacks) – 3
Daffney is just so awesome that I can’t even describe it. Here in this particular match, you must climb a pole, grab the tacks, and throw your opponent through them. Daff takes a nasty kick from Taylor while jumping off the top rope. I used to like Taylor but now, she has ZERO heat and only works hard when she has too. Back to the bout, Daff whacks Taylor with the tack bag and spreads them on the mat. I think she needs to take Hardcore Wrestling 101 over again because obviously she didn’t learn that he/she who opens the tacks, recieves the tacks. That’s exactly what happened as Daffney took another tack bump, her second in a week, but one that wasn’t as wild (no pun intended) at Slammiversary.
Scott Steiner vs. Robert Roode – 4
Good little match between these two. Steiner’s selling was really good, especially his vocal selling. His basic offense looked good and it was really one of the better Impact matches I’ve seen recently. Roode did the “Beer Money” pose about two minutes after briefly beating up Steiner. Roode blocking the Steiner Recliner was a nice touch to the finish and the surprise backslide for the pin was good as well. Well, I guess we do get clean fins in TNA. Since Steiner popped up in TNA, I’ve really liked his work. Really liked the pace they kept up as well but they didn’t really give a chance for anyone to take a breath.
Booker T vs. James Storm – 3
A little slower paced than the Steiner/Roode match but still decent. Booker’s offense looked a bit mailed in, especially some stuff early on. Storm, who has the most charisma on the Beer Money team, comes to the ring with the Boozer Cruiser, a novelty thing that’s grown old. Sharmell was at ringside and made some good facials when Booker got nailed in the corner next to her. Finish saw Booker smash a beer bottle over Storm’s head to cause the instant DQ. Storm sold it like he was dead and Earl Hebner sold it like he got shot. Wait, the referee sold the bottle shot as well? Perhaps he needs to lay off the hooch. Nothing on this show to really seek out.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
WrestleMania XI
1) Lex Luger/ Davey Boy Smith v. Jacob & Eli Blu (w/ Uncle Zebekiah)- 2
2) Jeff Jarrett (w/ the Roadie) v. Razor Ramon (w/ 1-2-3 Kid) IC Title- 4
3) Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) v. King Kong Bundy (w/ Ted Dibiase)- 1
4) Smoking Gunns v. Yokozuna & Owen Hart (w/ Mr. Fuji & Jim Cornette) Tag Team Titles- 4
5) Bret Hart v. Bob Backlund (I Quit Match w/ Roddy Piper as ref)- 4
6) Diesel (w/ Pam Anderson) v. Shawn Michaels (w/ Sid & Jenny McCarthy) WWF Title- 6
7) Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Million Dollar Corp.) v. Lawrence Taylor (w/ All Pro Team)- 3
We start off with a Tag match, one of my favorites to watch. Faces try to be the Rockers and sync up their moves, but screw it up w/in 30 seconds on clotheslines. Why is the audio being announced to the whole arena? Vince is trying to placate the crowd with really bad jokes, as usual. Harris' never re-learned after being in ECW that sloppy moves won't cut it. Funny spot was when Luger hit his bionic forearm and neither the crowd or the announcers popped for it. Finish has been done 1,000 times over and better every time. IC title matches were a staple of Mania for years- here's evidence tradition dies hard. Jarrett is a perfect foil for Ramon except his repetitive, emotionless flat back bumps on everything. I wouldn't think he'd wrestled a match afterwards, just had a hard workout, except Hall busted his nose open. Roadie looks like a ferret on Mescaline, he's so hyper at ringside. Jarrett had a great dropkick though, can't take that away from him. Kid looks more like a Geisha girl in his Japanese smock; he brought the fire in the aftermath though. Story and pace was fine, but wasn't feeling much here. Wow, the ref got a name plate and intro by Lawler, far cry from today's Nameless Refs. Bundy easily has the worst selling I've seen in a while, he stumbles around as if he ate a hot chili pepper by accident. He throws Shitty ass clotheslines, his arm was more flaccid than Paul Bearer's little pud performing that move. JR's "Bowling Shoe Ugly" comes to mind with this match. Well, we got one good kneedrop out of him, guess we can go home happy, no, we can't, we had to watch a bunch of grown men fighting over a flashlight in the shape of an urn.
Only Owen Hart would do 3 flips out of an armbar and follow up with an eyepoke! Yoko got it in his head he would bump out of the ring in a really nasty way so he did it! Gunns have some good double team moves, but with this goofy character, no wonder they never made it. Do I really care they had Rodeo scholarships? And what fucking disreputable school gave those out anyways? Crowd is solidly into watching Yoko do anything. Owen powerbombs himself with a dropkick off the top, takes him a few seconds to get up, you hate to see those kinds of things, that's what could really do long term damage. RIP Billy Gunn, died under the ass of a Samoan playing a Japanese wrestler. He was 29 and had a porno stache. Finish accentuated Owen's heel persona perfectly, Yoko was gasping for air against the ropes for a long while after the match, and the genuis WWF camera crew filmed every second of it. I like Bret's approach, he totally picks Backlund apart. He chokes Bob against the ropes as a way to make him say I quit, neat idea. Piper is wretched here, every 6 seconds shoves the mic in someone's face to see if they quit. You can't properly give the moves any sells when you have to function to say "No." Backlund doesn't respond half the time, hell he doesn't even say the words, they just ring the bell after some non-descript screaming. I liked Bob's controlling the chin with a reverse half way through, as an exhibition this would be good, but good this was not.
I can't imagine an instance where Nash would move as fast as he did during this really hot opening spot with Michaels, unless he got wind of a drug test at the Georgia Dome back in '99. I love those crazy high backdrops, Michaels takes a killer one, but my god they have to be dangerous. Shawn's bouncing like a rubberball on the biggest stage of his career, but still finds the time to harass a camerman. Hate those obvious reversal setups, Shawn positions Nash right next to the ropes for a suplex, give me a break. Hellen Keller could have seen what was coming. Always liked that crossbody and flying back elbow he does here, still look crisp and the timing was down. Really exceeding my expectations for this. Sid looked lost, kept getting on the apron waiting for his spot. Ending lost some steam but overall this was well done. Big main and the crowd is supernova hot for it. Bam Bam sells big from bell to bell and it took a real pro to pull this off, even if the match isn't very good. LT don't want to sell anything, he keeps trying to throw little shots instead of playing hurt. Shouldn't have given him all those adrenaline shots before the match in his withered knees. He hits a Doctor Death suplex though on Bammer late, which had to have irritated him. LT does throw a vicious forearm, they quickly go to the fin after LT gasses from 10 minutes of action. Not a good main event.
The scores don't really reflect it, nor do the ranking, but this is probably my least favorite Mania so far. Terrible production values, audio is all off, mics don't work, the celebs are totally lost, just a poor effort and felt more like a bad week of TV than a Mania. Anybody else wish it would have been TLC instead of Salt n' Pepa that year?
VIII= 43%
II= 43%
X= 42%
III= 39%
VII= 34%
V= 34%
XI= 34%
IV= 34%
IX= 33%
I= 32%
VI= 32%
2) Jeff Jarrett (w/ the Roadie) v. Razor Ramon (w/ 1-2-3 Kid) IC Title- 4
3) Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) v. King Kong Bundy (w/ Ted Dibiase)- 1
4) Smoking Gunns v. Yokozuna & Owen Hart (w/ Mr. Fuji & Jim Cornette) Tag Team Titles- 4
5) Bret Hart v. Bob Backlund (I Quit Match w/ Roddy Piper as ref)- 4
6) Diesel (w/ Pam Anderson) v. Shawn Michaels (w/ Sid & Jenny McCarthy) WWF Title- 6
7) Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Million Dollar Corp.) v. Lawrence Taylor (w/ All Pro Team)- 3
We start off with a Tag match, one of my favorites to watch. Faces try to be the Rockers and sync up their moves, but screw it up w/in 30 seconds on clotheslines. Why is the audio being announced to the whole arena? Vince is trying to placate the crowd with really bad jokes, as usual. Harris' never re-learned after being in ECW that sloppy moves won't cut it. Funny spot was when Luger hit his bionic forearm and neither the crowd or the announcers popped for it. Finish has been done 1,000 times over and better every time. IC title matches were a staple of Mania for years- here's evidence tradition dies hard. Jarrett is a perfect foil for Ramon except his repetitive, emotionless flat back bumps on everything. I wouldn't think he'd wrestled a match afterwards, just had a hard workout, except Hall busted his nose open. Roadie looks like a ferret on Mescaline, he's so hyper at ringside. Jarrett had a great dropkick though, can't take that away from him. Kid looks more like a Geisha girl in his Japanese smock; he brought the fire in the aftermath though. Story and pace was fine, but wasn't feeling much here. Wow, the ref got a name plate and intro by Lawler, far cry from today's Nameless Refs. Bundy easily has the worst selling I've seen in a while, he stumbles around as if he ate a hot chili pepper by accident. He throws Shitty ass clotheslines, his arm was more flaccid than Paul Bearer's little pud performing that move. JR's "Bowling Shoe Ugly" comes to mind with this match. Well, we got one good kneedrop out of him, guess we can go home happy, no, we can't, we had to watch a bunch of grown men fighting over a flashlight in the shape of an urn.
Only Owen Hart would do 3 flips out of an armbar and follow up with an eyepoke! Yoko got it in his head he would bump out of the ring in a really nasty way so he did it! Gunns have some good double team moves, but with this goofy character, no wonder they never made it. Do I really care they had Rodeo scholarships? And what fucking disreputable school gave those out anyways? Crowd is solidly into watching Yoko do anything. Owen powerbombs himself with a dropkick off the top, takes him a few seconds to get up, you hate to see those kinds of things, that's what could really do long term damage. RIP Billy Gunn, died under the ass of a Samoan playing a Japanese wrestler. He was 29 and had a porno stache. Finish accentuated Owen's heel persona perfectly, Yoko was gasping for air against the ropes for a long while after the match, and the genuis WWF camera crew filmed every second of it. I like Bret's approach, he totally picks Backlund apart. He chokes Bob against the ropes as a way to make him say I quit, neat idea. Piper is wretched here, every 6 seconds shoves the mic in someone's face to see if they quit. You can't properly give the moves any sells when you have to function to say "No." Backlund doesn't respond half the time, hell he doesn't even say the words, they just ring the bell after some non-descript screaming. I liked Bob's controlling the chin with a reverse half way through, as an exhibition this would be good, but good this was not.
I can't imagine an instance where Nash would move as fast as he did during this really hot opening spot with Michaels, unless he got wind of a drug test at the Georgia Dome back in '99. I love those crazy high backdrops, Michaels takes a killer one, but my god they have to be dangerous. Shawn's bouncing like a rubberball on the biggest stage of his career, but still finds the time to harass a camerman. Hate those obvious reversal setups, Shawn positions Nash right next to the ropes for a suplex, give me a break. Hellen Keller could have seen what was coming. Always liked that crossbody and flying back elbow he does here, still look crisp and the timing was down. Really exceeding my expectations for this. Sid looked lost, kept getting on the apron waiting for his spot. Ending lost some steam but overall this was well done. Big main and the crowd is supernova hot for it. Bam Bam sells big from bell to bell and it took a real pro to pull this off, even if the match isn't very good. LT don't want to sell anything, he keeps trying to throw little shots instead of playing hurt. Shouldn't have given him all those adrenaline shots before the match in his withered knees. He hits a Doctor Death suplex though on Bammer late, which had to have irritated him. LT does throw a vicious forearm, they quickly go to the fin after LT gasses from 10 minutes of action. Not a good main event.
The scores don't really reflect it, nor do the ranking, but this is probably my least favorite Mania so far. Terrible production values, audio is all off, mics don't work, the celebs are totally lost, just a poor effort and felt more like a bad week of TV than a Mania. Anybody else wish it would have been TLC instead of Salt n' Pepa that year?
VIII= 43%
II= 43%
X= 42%
III= 39%
VII= 34%
V= 34%
XI= 34%
IV= 34%
IX= 33%
I= 32%
VI= 32%
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Burger Kang #7: All You Need Is Shove
Brent Albright and Erick Stevens vs. Chris Escobar and Damian Wayne - (ROH Full Circle) - 3
This was a show opener and kind of fun in a real Southern, old school way; I mean, I'm not saying this was the second-coming of the South, but it didn't feel so much like a typical ROH tag match. Escobar, who looked like one of the Children from the Corn, and Wayne, in their control sections didn't do much to Stevens, but, they kept him in their portion of the ring and did a lot of basic stuff that'd rile up small, rowdy Southern crowds. When Albright got in after a hot tag, he ran through them and came off like a legitimate powerhouse.
Dan Severn vs. Jesus Castillo - (WWE Shotgun Saturday Night 9/12/98) - 1
It's funny hearing Cornette and Ross on commentary building up Dan's "no holds barred fighting" background. Severn looks real bad on transitions. Castillo surprised me with a real tight German suplex out of the corner. Severn uses a lot of short kicks, knees, etc. Severn wins with a standing Dragon Sleeper and does a good job facially making it look fierce, but upon a close-up, it's crystal clear his arm's not under the chin thus making the "submission" null.
Vader vs. Cactus Jack - Texas Tornado Match - (WCW Worldwide 4/30/94) - 4
I'd heard this match lead to Jack's imminent quitting of the company. Tony Schiavone says, due to "liberal" political correctness, they can't use the word "death", thus, its a Texas Tornado match. Nope, that doesn't mean a bunch of Kerry Von Erich spots, and in fact, later Schiavone says something even more ridiculous, citing it should now be dubbed the "Orlando Chair match". A lot of the meat of this takes place out on the floor, Jack's punches don't look too good but Vader's trying to eat them. Jack does a somersault off of the apron into Vader and the results aren't pretty. The end comes when Race smacks Foley in the face with a chair, leading to an utterly stiff powerbomb on the floor by Vader.
Tigers Mask and Jushin Liger vs. Tiger Mask and Great Sasuke - (12/23/08) - 3
This starts off real sort of exhibition-like. Nice to see Sasuke and Liger in there together to start, but, they do some real tame mat stuff with no hate or determination displayed. I was hoping Tiger Mask was the original, but instead it's IV, although he did bust out a nice suicide dive right in Liger's face on the floor. Sasuke sold one low-blow by blabbering and spitting up like an infant. Tigers hit some nice strikes on Sasuke, as well as a German suplex. Tigers gets disqualified for using this Big Boss Man nightstick and this file goes directly to the trash bin.
Matt Morgan vs. Sting - (TNA Slammiversary '09) - 3
I liked this early as Morgan's improved personality-wise, really jawing it up with the ringside fans as he was bullying Sting out on the floor. Instead of playing Abyss' soft friend, now they're letting Matt just be an arrogant jock and it works. I can't say enough about how much I enjoyed him making quips at the fans. Unfortunately, in the ring, the match started falling apart. Sting looked like Skeletor late in this, face paint chipped off until it resembled a skull, hair receding faster than our economy, etc. As much as Sting has presence, and has been one of the better guys on the microphone in TNA this year, it's about time to hang up the boots, go fishing with the Black Scorpion, and wait until WWE calls to get his involvement on a three-disc career retrospective DVD. They botch a major spot, where Sting was supposed to escape a Morgan power move, slide behind him and go directly into a Scorpion Death Drop. They tried to improvise but by this point I'd already put up the white flag, went to White Castle for some sliders and a Big Red soda, and surrendered.
Amigo Suzuki vs. Satoshi Kajiwara - (Ultimo Dragon Produce "LUCHA FIESTA 2009") - 2
This kicked off Ultimo's love letter to lucha, now, when I want produce, I want it fresh and crisp, but this opener didn't fit the bill. Amigo starts by controlling Satoshi with a headlock, this section is preceding by a random display of strong style, as they go all Kobashi/Misawa and start forearming each other in the face and I'm perplexed. So, we graduate from the simplest, most basic of mat moves, into a slugfest? The young boys need seasonings as does some good zucchini. I think I'd rather be grocery shopping.
Brad Attitude vs. Austin Aries - (ROH Proving Ground - Night Two) - 4
Aries' makes this match, his performances, especially as of the '09 character evolving, have been a real joy to watch. He bumps around like a pinball, sort of in the image of Hennig/Michaels, does weird, unpredictable things like Pillman, and comes off like a real sleaze ball unlike anyone that's came before. Attitude is a relatively fresh-faced good guy, a FIP regular, and mechanically isn't bad, he even has this little aerial spot I've never seen before I sort of dig, where from the apron he'll hop up knees-first onto the top rope, then somersault off onto an opponent. I was going to compare him to Chase Tatum, former member of WCW"s horrid No Limit Soilders faction, but then found out Tatum died of a drug overdose not too long ago so let's steer away from that one. Brad holds up his end of the bargain, but honestly, Austin could be wrestling just about anyone and I'd be glued to my monstrous plasma TV. Highlight being Austin's Heat Seeking Missile dive as he drives Attitude backward violently and they crash into the guardrail pushing it about three-foot into the crowd.
This was a show opener and kind of fun in a real Southern, old school way; I mean, I'm not saying this was the second-coming of the South, but it didn't feel so much like a typical ROH tag match. Escobar, who looked like one of the Children from the Corn, and Wayne, in their control sections didn't do much to Stevens, but, they kept him in their portion of the ring and did a lot of basic stuff that'd rile up small, rowdy Southern crowds. When Albright got in after a hot tag, he ran through them and came off like a legitimate powerhouse.
Dan Severn vs. Jesus Castillo - (WWE Shotgun Saturday Night 9/12/98) - 1
It's funny hearing Cornette and Ross on commentary building up Dan's "no holds barred fighting" background. Severn looks real bad on transitions. Castillo surprised me with a real tight German suplex out of the corner. Severn uses a lot of short kicks, knees, etc. Severn wins with a standing Dragon Sleeper and does a good job facially making it look fierce, but upon a close-up, it's crystal clear his arm's not under the chin thus making the "submission" null.
Vader vs. Cactus Jack - Texas Tornado Match - (WCW Worldwide 4/30/94) - 4
I'd heard this match lead to Jack's imminent quitting of the company. Tony Schiavone says, due to "liberal" political correctness, they can't use the word "death", thus, its a Texas Tornado match. Nope, that doesn't mean a bunch of Kerry Von Erich spots, and in fact, later Schiavone says something even more ridiculous, citing it should now be dubbed the "Orlando Chair match". A lot of the meat of this takes place out on the floor, Jack's punches don't look too good but Vader's trying to eat them. Jack does a somersault off of the apron into Vader and the results aren't pretty. The end comes when Race smacks Foley in the face with a chair, leading to an utterly stiff powerbomb on the floor by Vader.
Tigers Mask and Jushin Liger vs. Tiger Mask and Great Sasuke - (12/23/08) - 3
This starts off real sort of exhibition-like. Nice to see Sasuke and Liger in there together to start, but, they do some real tame mat stuff with no hate or determination displayed. I was hoping Tiger Mask was the original, but instead it's IV, although he did bust out a nice suicide dive right in Liger's face on the floor. Sasuke sold one low-blow by blabbering and spitting up like an infant. Tigers hit some nice strikes on Sasuke, as well as a German suplex. Tigers gets disqualified for using this Big Boss Man nightstick and this file goes directly to the trash bin.
Matt Morgan vs. Sting - (TNA Slammiversary '09) - 3
I liked this early as Morgan's improved personality-wise, really jawing it up with the ringside fans as he was bullying Sting out on the floor. Instead of playing Abyss' soft friend, now they're letting Matt just be an arrogant jock and it works. I can't say enough about how much I enjoyed him making quips at the fans. Unfortunately, in the ring, the match started falling apart. Sting looked like Skeletor late in this, face paint chipped off until it resembled a skull, hair receding faster than our economy, etc. As much as Sting has presence, and has been one of the better guys on the microphone in TNA this year, it's about time to hang up the boots, go fishing with the Black Scorpion, and wait until WWE calls to get his involvement on a three-disc career retrospective DVD. They botch a major spot, where Sting was supposed to escape a Morgan power move, slide behind him and go directly into a Scorpion Death Drop. They tried to improvise but by this point I'd already put up the white flag, went to White Castle for some sliders and a Big Red soda, and surrendered.
Amigo Suzuki vs. Satoshi Kajiwara - (Ultimo Dragon Produce "LUCHA FIESTA 2009") - 2
This kicked off Ultimo's love letter to lucha, now, when I want produce, I want it fresh and crisp, but this opener didn't fit the bill. Amigo starts by controlling Satoshi with a headlock, this section is preceding by a random display of strong style, as they go all Kobashi/Misawa and start forearming each other in the face and I'm perplexed. So, we graduate from the simplest, most basic of mat moves, into a slugfest? The young boys need seasonings as does some good zucchini. I think I'd rather be grocery shopping.
Brad Attitude vs. Austin Aries - (ROH Proving Ground - Night Two) - 4
Aries' makes this match, his performances, especially as of the '09 character evolving, have been a real joy to watch. He bumps around like a pinball, sort of in the image of Hennig/Michaels, does weird, unpredictable things like Pillman, and comes off like a real sleaze ball unlike anyone that's came before. Attitude is a relatively fresh-faced good guy, a FIP regular, and mechanically isn't bad, he even has this little aerial spot I've never seen before I sort of dig, where from the apron he'll hop up knees-first onto the top rope, then somersault off onto an opponent. I was going to compare him to Chase Tatum, former member of WCW"s horrid No Limit Soilders faction, but then found out Tatum died of a drug overdose not too long ago so let's steer away from that one. Brad holds up his end of the bargain, but honestly, Austin could be wrestling just about anyone and I'd be glued to my monstrous plasma TV. Highlight being Austin's Heat Seeking Missile dive as he drives Attitude backward violently and they crash into the guardrail pushing it about three-foot into the crowd.
Monday, July 6, 2009
NHO on Twitter
So we finally decided to see what this Twitter thing is all about. If you're on Twitter, follow us at http://twitter.com/neverhandover
We'll post some candid thoughts, blog updates, etc on there so follow us, let us know how we're doing, and engage it some casual chat if we're online. So make Bockwinkel proud and follow us on Twitter. As for the remainder of the summer here on the blog, the best is yet to come!! Now, back to some Joshi ... as you were.
We'll post some candid thoughts, blog updates, etc on there so follow us, let us know how we're doing, and engage it some casual chat if we're online. So make Bockwinkel proud and follow us on Twitter. As for the remainder of the summer here on the blog, the best is yet to come!! Now, back to some Joshi ... as you were.
Friday, July 3, 2009
New Japan - 02/17/2008
1) Tetsuya Naito/ Yujiro/ Taguchi/ ? v. Manabu Nakanishi/ Tiger Mask IV/ Koji Kanemoto/ ?- 3
2) Christopher Daniels v. Wataru Inoue- 3
3) Super Strong Machine/ Shiro Koshinaka/ Masahiro Chono/ Riki Choshu v. Hiroyoshi Tenzan/ Gedo/ Jado/ ?- 3
4) Minoru Tanaka/ Prince Devitt v. Jushin Liger/ AKIRA (IWGP Jr. Tag Titles)- 6
5) AJ Styles v. Hiroshi Tanahashi- 6
6) Tomko/ Giant Bernard v. Toru Yano/ Togi Makabe (IWGP Tag Team Titles) - 4
7) Shinsuke Nakamura v. Kurt Angle (IWGP Title Unification Match) - 5
Okay opening match only went about 10 minutes, so no one really got to show off, esp. Tiger Mask. A few kicks and his paycheck was earned. Taguchi stood out to me, think he could be really good in a few years, has a WWE 80's heel thing going on. Nothing of note really happened as brick wall Nakanishi got the win after not selling at all. 2nd match was a let down- Daniels overly sold a bunch of shit off the bat and i wasn't real impressed with his business on this night. Inoue looked like someone who needed carrying, but they worked his leg over the whole time, with not much good emotion being shown. Daniels put him away pretty easily in a forgettable encounter. Tenzan's back baby! with Horns and everything. Unfortunately he's up against the old guard who don't go down easily. Everyone on the face team has seen much better days, Machine needed new parts, Chono really shouldn't wear tight pants, Choshu still has a great lariat but that's it, and Koshinaka really befuddled me; he kept getting pissed because the heels were using his trademark "butt bump" move, so a one upmanship went on for the whole middle of this match. It's a butt strike!!!! Never liked the way he utilized it, so hated everything they did here with it. Tenzan didn't look good at all, physically he still seemed to have it together, but he was a background piece in this match.
Really suprised and overjoyed at this jrs. tag match. Devitt and Tanaka continue to impress after their showing at the Destruction PPV and then here, pulling fire out of Liger I haven't seen since the mid-90's. AKIRA is usually only fuctioning as a Junior not as good as Liger, therefore making him look better, but he kept up with the youngings throughout and had a really awesome armbar. Liger can still powerbomb with the best of them, he puts them on their neck every time. Awesome false finishes highlighted the last 7 minutes, and luckily we weren't treated to a dive spot. Tanaka looks ever improving since BattlArts days as well. AJ is doing his best Mark Briscoe here (with the Southern Drawl using as a heel mostly) but reminds me more of Marc Sommers, popular nerdy host of Nick's Double Dare show from the 80's. He takes a low blow recepit and rubs himself like the Masturbating Bear repeatedly saying "oh, my nuts!" This is a rematch from a TNA ppv a few years back that Internet fan boys didn't like too much; I did like it and this is even better. It's always a good sign when AJ hits his backflip DDT and the crowd pops. He was really on, stiff forearms, crazy pele kick, just all fun. Tanahashi takes a Dynamite Kid snap suplex on the apron in a cringe-worthy spot. All in all, these two just gel and I'd love to see a rubber match.
Not sure what the back story of this match was, but I'm guessing it had to do with the fact they were four ugly ass dudes. Tomko really looked bad, ripping power move after power move with in the first few seconds of his being in there, and nearly dropping the guys on their heads. Yano nor Makabe impressed me, i guess they're supposed to be hardcore, but Yano didn't look too tough when Bernard splashed him through a table on the outside. That was an annihilation, table blew up like a land mortar. Finish kind of sucked in a mostly brawling match that I really wasn't into. Main event I was looking forward to, really digging Nakamura more and more; he's not flashy but he can go. Angle punished him for the first half, like a mat clinic I'm sure he gave to some eager young wrestlers back in Pittsburgh, just trying to pass the time after school. Then the match went into fast forward, spots from really great matches were inserted into this one like a top rope Angle slam at around 10 minutes, didn't make sense. You could also hear and see Angle visually calling out the spots to the young Japanese wrestler. Finish was pretty awesome though, they were trading submission moves back and forth, awesome transitions from moves into the Anklelock, Nakamura doing about 3 flips in the air then somehow wrangling Angle into a cross arm breaker, just breathtaking ground work. I won't ruin the ending but overall, felt like the first Angle-Joe match, except instead of skipping the whole beginning stages like that match did, this one skipped the middle which is even more mind boggling from a pysch perspective.
2) Christopher Daniels v. Wataru Inoue- 3
3) Super Strong Machine/ Shiro Koshinaka/ Masahiro Chono/ Riki Choshu v. Hiroyoshi Tenzan/ Gedo/ Jado/ ?- 3
4) Minoru Tanaka/ Prince Devitt v. Jushin Liger/ AKIRA (IWGP Jr. Tag Titles)- 6
5) AJ Styles v. Hiroshi Tanahashi- 6
6) Tomko/ Giant Bernard v. Toru Yano/ Togi Makabe (IWGP Tag Team Titles) - 4
7) Shinsuke Nakamura v. Kurt Angle (IWGP Title Unification Match) - 5
Okay opening match only went about 10 minutes, so no one really got to show off, esp. Tiger Mask. A few kicks and his paycheck was earned. Taguchi stood out to me, think he could be really good in a few years, has a WWE 80's heel thing going on. Nothing of note really happened as brick wall Nakanishi got the win after not selling at all. 2nd match was a let down- Daniels overly sold a bunch of shit off the bat and i wasn't real impressed with his business on this night. Inoue looked like someone who needed carrying, but they worked his leg over the whole time, with not much good emotion being shown. Daniels put him away pretty easily in a forgettable encounter. Tenzan's back baby! with Horns and everything. Unfortunately he's up against the old guard who don't go down easily. Everyone on the face team has seen much better days, Machine needed new parts, Chono really shouldn't wear tight pants, Choshu still has a great lariat but that's it, and Koshinaka really befuddled me; he kept getting pissed because the heels were using his trademark "butt bump" move, so a one upmanship went on for the whole middle of this match. It's a butt strike!!!! Never liked the way he utilized it, so hated everything they did here with it. Tenzan didn't look good at all, physically he still seemed to have it together, but he was a background piece in this match.
Really suprised and overjoyed at this jrs. tag match. Devitt and Tanaka continue to impress after their showing at the Destruction PPV and then here, pulling fire out of Liger I haven't seen since the mid-90's. AKIRA is usually only fuctioning as a Junior not as good as Liger, therefore making him look better, but he kept up with the youngings throughout and had a really awesome armbar. Liger can still powerbomb with the best of them, he puts them on their neck every time. Awesome false finishes highlighted the last 7 minutes, and luckily we weren't treated to a dive spot. Tanaka looks ever improving since BattlArts days as well. AJ is doing his best Mark Briscoe here (with the Southern Drawl using as a heel mostly) but reminds me more of Marc Sommers, popular nerdy host of Nick's Double Dare show from the 80's. He takes a low blow recepit and rubs himself like the Masturbating Bear repeatedly saying "oh, my nuts!" This is a rematch from a TNA ppv a few years back that Internet fan boys didn't like too much; I did like it and this is even better. It's always a good sign when AJ hits his backflip DDT and the crowd pops. He was really on, stiff forearms, crazy pele kick, just all fun. Tanahashi takes a Dynamite Kid snap suplex on the apron in a cringe-worthy spot. All in all, these two just gel and I'd love to see a rubber match.
Not sure what the back story of this match was, but I'm guessing it had to do with the fact they were four ugly ass dudes. Tomko really looked bad, ripping power move after power move with in the first few seconds of his being in there, and nearly dropping the guys on their heads. Yano nor Makabe impressed me, i guess they're supposed to be hardcore, but Yano didn't look too tough when Bernard splashed him through a table on the outside. That was an annihilation, table blew up like a land mortar. Finish kind of sucked in a mostly brawling match that I really wasn't into. Main event I was looking forward to, really digging Nakamura more and more; he's not flashy but he can go. Angle punished him for the first half, like a mat clinic I'm sure he gave to some eager young wrestlers back in Pittsburgh, just trying to pass the time after school. Then the match went into fast forward, spots from really great matches were inserted into this one like a top rope Angle slam at around 10 minutes, didn't make sense. You could also hear and see Angle visually calling out the spots to the young Japanese wrestler. Finish was pretty awesome though, they were trading submission moves back and forth, awesome transitions from moves into the Anklelock, Nakamura doing about 3 flips in the air then somehow wrangling Angle into a cross arm breaker, just breathtaking ground work. I won't ruin the ending but overall, felt like the first Angle-Joe match, except instead of skipping the whole beginning stages like that match did, this one skipped the middle which is even more mind boggling from a pysch perspective.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Cinnamon Toast Punch #1
Part of a balanced breakfast! Eat up kids!
Taka Michinoku vs. Pantera (WWF In Your House: No Way Out – 2/15/98) – 5
The popcorn fart known as Brian Christopher is on guest commentary. Him and Lawler are just burying the competitors, by calling high-risk moves “Taco Twisters” and “Burrito Busters”, and JR’s play-by-play. At one point, Christopher even called Taka a “slant-eye”. Please get this annoying fucker off the mic … NOW!! Anyway, despite the bullshit going on at the commentary table, Taka and Pantera have a decent little match. Pantera hit some nice high-flying moves, with a nice suicide dive through a corner of the ring, right past the ring post. Taka’s back was worked over during the first part of the bout and he did well selling it. He even sold it while trying to do a Michinoku Driver, which goes a long way in my book. The commentary got in the way of any enjoyment I could’ve gotten out of this.
The Nasty Boys & Earthquake vs. The Bushwhackers & Tugboat (WWF Superstars – 6/15/91) – 3
It was pretty obvious from the start that Tugboat was going to turn on the Bushwhackers, with him constantly turning his back to the action and doing the “toot, toot” sign to the crowd. The action in the match mainly focused on the Bushwhackers and the Nasty Boys with Earthquake getting in here and there. There was a spot where it was teased that Tugboat and Earthquake would battle each other, but Tugboat quickly tagged out and gave away the fact that he was going to turn. Aside from the Tugboat heel turn, there was nothing much to this one.
Dan Hansen vs. The Royal Battler – Over the Top Rope Challenge (Dynamic Wrestling – 6/6/09) – 1
This Dan Hansen character is a co-worker of a friend of mine and was given his ring name because he supposedly works like the legendary Stan Hansen. That would be accurate if Stan was a large dude with no fluid motion whatsoever. Now, about this Royal Battler fella. I don’t know why he has that character, all I know is that all he competes in is over-the-top-rope challenges and wins them because he hasn’t learned to bump over the top yet. Excuse me for a moment while a laugh really, really hard … *laughs really, really hard* … ahem, that’s better. These two mesh just like Jell-O and motor oil. This is only four minutes and it’s awful. Hansen tries charging Battler, who’s on the apron, with a giant clothesline but does a stutter step, starts the move over. Battler pulls down the top rope and Hansen’s tubby ass lands on the floor. A match like this makes you wonder why these two don’t make it to the big time. Oh, wait, it’s because they both suck.
Eddie Gilbert and Ricky Morton brawl with Atsushi Onita, Masa Fuchi, and Tojo Yamamoto in the concession stand (Tupelo, MS – Early 1980s) – 6
This is the aftermath of a best of three falls match between Gilbert & Morton and Onita & Fuchi that breaks down into a giant brawl right inside the concession stand! The fight starts in the ring with Morton swinging a kendo stick at the evil foreigners and then it cuts to the concession stand. What a fight this was! There was blood and mustard everywhere. Hey Gilbert, I’ll take two dogs, no blood, and a large Coke! Onita gets thrown into the ice machine and Morton and Fuchi brawl over near the kitchen area. The two teams are forced apart with Gilbert and Morton being shoved back to the locker room. Then some middle-aged lady who runs the concession stand comes in and tries to pick a fight with Yamamoto. Gilbert and Morton reappear and start swinging broomsticks all over the place. Finally, everyone gets separated from each other and pushed back to the locker room. Just a wild, unmitigated brawl that’s tons of fun. It’s wild stuff like this that put “hardcore” wrestling on the map and still holds up today.
Go Shiozaki & KENTA vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima & Kensuke Sasaki (NOAH – 6/22/09) – 9
First, let me explain why I didn’t give this a “10”. I definitely played with the idea of giving this match the ultra-rare top score but the fact that it’s pimped heavily now doesn’t mean that six months from now it will still be talked about as heavily. Granted, it will no doubt be a finalist in this year’s Match of the Year voting, but is it going to be legendary? I don’t think so, especially since something equally as spectacular will no doubt come along in the months and years to come. Now, all of that having been said, it’s time to get down to the analysis. These four are no doubt the best that Japanese wrestling has to offer right now and the fact that they spent 35 minutes pummeling each other solidifies that fact. The exchanges of kicks between Nakajima and KENTA are just brutal and are the most vicious kicks I’ve ever seen. The chop exchange between Shiozaki and Sasaki reminded me of the exchange between Sasaki and Kobashi from the July 2005 NOAH Tokyo Dome show. The chops sounded like gunshots, or firecrackers since it’s Fourth of July weekend here in the states, going off. Each slam and high impact manuever had a point and either led to a pinfall or set up a high risk move that was a pinfall. And the superkicks … oh, the superkicks. They were absolutely sickening. Sasaki folded Go in half with a sick clothesline, Nakajima reversed a GTS into a an ankle lock submission. Let me say that again … Nakajima reversed a GTS into a FUCKING ANKLE LOCK!!!! The tease of whether or not KENTA would tap to the ill manuever was heart-pounding as watching it, you don’t want the match to end. Eventually, KENTA made the ropes and the hold was broken. Holy shit, I’ve never ever seen this much bell-to-bell action in my life. It’s one cringing kick, chop, or slap after another. The Go Flasher to finish it wasn’t very fluid but I won’t fault Shiozaki too much. By far the best NOAH match of the year and after watching it, it is now my current match of the year, surpassing the Shawn Michaels/Undertaker match by a wide margin. Find this match and watch it … NOW!!
Raven & Daffney vs. Abyss & Taylor Wilde – Monster’s Ball Match (TNA Slammiversary 2009 – 6/21/09) – 4
This match had a lot of good and a lot of bad. Daffney was doing her best Benoit impression and just killing herself. Abyss gave her a giant military press from the ring onto the floor, where she was caught by Taylor, Stevie, and others. All four combatants brawled through the crowd where a table was set up. Taylor put Daffney on the table, climbed the speakers, and hit a splash that put Daffney through the table. Damn, she’s hardcore! Weapons shots are all around in this with the women suprisingly throwing the hardest shots. Abyss spreads tacks on the mat and, uh oh, Daffney’s caught between the tacks and Abyss. She jumps over the tacks, gets caught by Taylor, and recieves and Arn Anderson-esque spinebuster into the tacks. I knew goth girls were crazy but I didn’t know they were this crazy. Abyss slams Raven into the aforementioned tacks for the win. This was fun but I felt like I’ve seen this before numerous times, kind of like all of those teen horror films that are coming out. Same plot, same result. Good stuff from the ladies but the guys didn’t hold up their end of the bargain.
Iron Man Survivor Battle Royal (AWA TV – 7/22/90) – 3
Well this was interesting. This was part of the ill-fated and very confusing Team Challenge Series in the dying days of the AWA and featured members of all three teams battling with the winner getting points for his team. Three men start it out and every thirty seconds a new person would hit the ring. This featured the likes of The Texas Hangmen, Mike Enos, Larry Zbyszko, Scott Norton, The Trooper, and Yukon John Nord to name a few. The intervals were too quick for anybody to actually work any decent spots and the most memorable thing was Trooper fighting out of a 4-on-1 situation. The final three were Norton, Trooper, and one of the Hangmen. After eliminating the Hangman, the match is called and Norton and Trooper are declared co-winners. Wait, what? Nobody mentioned that. Apparently since their on the same team, then they can win the points. Was this unique, not really, and it’s fairly obvious it’s a rip-off of the Royal Rumble match.
Taka Michinoku vs. Pantera (WWF In Your House: No Way Out – 2/15/98) – 5
The popcorn fart known as Brian Christopher is on guest commentary. Him and Lawler are just burying the competitors, by calling high-risk moves “Taco Twisters” and “Burrito Busters”, and JR’s play-by-play. At one point, Christopher even called Taka a “slant-eye”. Please get this annoying fucker off the mic … NOW!! Anyway, despite the bullshit going on at the commentary table, Taka and Pantera have a decent little match. Pantera hit some nice high-flying moves, with a nice suicide dive through a corner of the ring, right past the ring post. Taka’s back was worked over during the first part of the bout and he did well selling it. He even sold it while trying to do a Michinoku Driver, which goes a long way in my book. The commentary got in the way of any enjoyment I could’ve gotten out of this.
The Nasty Boys & Earthquake vs. The Bushwhackers & Tugboat (WWF Superstars – 6/15/91) – 3
It was pretty obvious from the start that Tugboat was going to turn on the Bushwhackers, with him constantly turning his back to the action and doing the “toot, toot” sign to the crowd. The action in the match mainly focused on the Bushwhackers and the Nasty Boys with Earthquake getting in here and there. There was a spot where it was teased that Tugboat and Earthquake would battle each other, but Tugboat quickly tagged out and gave away the fact that he was going to turn. Aside from the Tugboat heel turn, there was nothing much to this one.
Dan Hansen vs. The Royal Battler – Over the Top Rope Challenge (Dynamic Wrestling – 6/6/09) – 1
This Dan Hansen character is a co-worker of a friend of mine and was given his ring name because he supposedly works like the legendary Stan Hansen. That would be accurate if Stan was a large dude with no fluid motion whatsoever. Now, about this Royal Battler fella. I don’t know why he has that character, all I know is that all he competes in is over-the-top-rope challenges and wins them because he hasn’t learned to bump over the top yet. Excuse me for a moment while a laugh really, really hard … *laughs really, really hard* … ahem, that’s better. These two mesh just like Jell-O and motor oil. This is only four minutes and it’s awful. Hansen tries charging Battler, who’s on the apron, with a giant clothesline but does a stutter step, starts the move over. Battler pulls down the top rope and Hansen’s tubby ass lands on the floor. A match like this makes you wonder why these two don’t make it to the big time. Oh, wait, it’s because they both suck.
Eddie Gilbert and Ricky Morton brawl with Atsushi Onita, Masa Fuchi, and Tojo Yamamoto in the concession stand (Tupelo, MS – Early 1980s) – 6
This is the aftermath of a best of three falls match between Gilbert & Morton and Onita & Fuchi that breaks down into a giant brawl right inside the concession stand! The fight starts in the ring with Morton swinging a kendo stick at the evil foreigners and then it cuts to the concession stand. What a fight this was! There was blood and mustard everywhere. Hey Gilbert, I’ll take two dogs, no blood, and a large Coke! Onita gets thrown into the ice machine and Morton and Fuchi brawl over near the kitchen area. The two teams are forced apart with Gilbert and Morton being shoved back to the locker room. Then some middle-aged lady who runs the concession stand comes in and tries to pick a fight with Yamamoto. Gilbert and Morton reappear and start swinging broomsticks all over the place. Finally, everyone gets separated from each other and pushed back to the locker room. Just a wild, unmitigated brawl that’s tons of fun. It’s wild stuff like this that put “hardcore” wrestling on the map and still holds up today.
Go Shiozaki & KENTA vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima & Kensuke Sasaki (NOAH – 6/22/09) – 9
First, let me explain why I didn’t give this a “10”. I definitely played with the idea of giving this match the ultra-rare top score but the fact that it’s pimped heavily now doesn’t mean that six months from now it will still be talked about as heavily. Granted, it will no doubt be a finalist in this year’s Match of the Year voting, but is it going to be legendary? I don’t think so, especially since something equally as spectacular will no doubt come along in the months and years to come. Now, all of that having been said, it’s time to get down to the analysis. These four are no doubt the best that Japanese wrestling has to offer right now and the fact that they spent 35 minutes pummeling each other solidifies that fact. The exchanges of kicks between Nakajima and KENTA are just brutal and are the most vicious kicks I’ve ever seen. The chop exchange between Shiozaki and Sasaki reminded me of the exchange between Sasaki and Kobashi from the July 2005 NOAH Tokyo Dome show. The chops sounded like gunshots, or firecrackers since it’s Fourth of July weekend here in the states, going off. Each slam and high impact manuever had a point and either led to a pinfall or set up a high risk move that was a pinfall. And the superkicks … oh, the superkicks. They were absolutely sickening. Sasaki folded Go in half with a sick clothesline, Nakajima reversed a GTS into a an ankle lock submission. Let me say that again … Nakajima reversed a GTS into a FUCKING ANKLE LOCK!!!! The tease of whether or not KENTA would tap to the ill manuever was heart-pounding as watching it, you don’t want the match to end. Eventually, KENTA made the ropes and the hold was broken. Holy shit, I’ve never ever seen this much bell-to-bell action in my life. It’s one cringing kick, chop, or slap after another. The Go Flasher to finish it wasn’t very fluid but I won’t fault Shiozaki too much. By far the best NOAH match of the year and after watching it, it is now my current match of the year, surpassing the Shawn Michaels/Undertaker match by a wide margin. Find this match and watch it … NOW!!
Raven & Daffney vs. Abyss & Taylor Wilde – Monster’s Ball Match (TNA Slammiversary 2009 – 6/21/09) – 4
This match had a lot of good and a lot of bad. Daffney was doing her best Benoit impression and just killing herself. Abyss gave her a giant military press from the ring onto the floor, where she was caught by Taylor, Stevie, and others. All four combatants brawled through the crowd where a table was set up. Taylor put Daffney on the table, climbed the speakers, and hit a splash that put Daffney through the table. Damn, she’s hardcore! Weapons shots are all around in this with the women suprisingly throwing the hardest shots. Abyss spreads tacks on the mat and, uh oh, Daffney’s caught between the tacks and Abyss. She jumps over the tacks, gets caught by Taylor, and recieves and Arn Anderson-esque spinebuster into the tacks. I knew goth girls were crazy but I didn’t know they were this crazy. Abyss slams Raven into the aforementioned tacks for the win. This was fun but I felt like I’ve seen this before numerous times, kind of like all of those teen horror films that are coming out. Same plot, same result. Good stuff from the ladies but the guys didn’t hold up their end of the bargain.
Iron Man Survivor Battle Royal (AWA TV – 7/22/90) – 3
Well this was interesting. This was part of the ill-fated and very confusing Team Challenge Series in the dying days of the AWA and featured members of all three teams battling with the winner getting points for his team. Three men start it out and every thirty seconds a new person would hit the ring. This featured the likes of The Texas Hangmen, Mike Enos, Larry Zbyszko, Scott Norton, The Trooper, and Yukon John Nord to name a few. The intervals were too quick for anybody to actually work any decent spots and the most memorable thing was Trooper fighting out of a 4-on-1 situation. The final three were Norton, Trooper, and one of the Hangmen. After eliminating the Hangman, the match is called and Norton and Trooper are declared co-winners. Wait, what? Nobody mentioned that. Apparently since their on the same team, then they can win the points. Was this unique, not really, and it’s fairly obvious it’s a rip-off of the Royal Rumble match.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
IWA Mid-South February Fury 2/06/09
1. Ryan Phoenix vs. Juice Robinson - 2
2. Bill the Butcher vs. Greg Excellent - 1
3. Rain vs. Mickie Knuckles - Falls Count Anywhere Match - 4
4. Bad Breed vs. The Hooligans - 3
5. Keith Walker vs. Zach Gowen - 1
6. Drake Younger vs. Jon Moxley vs. Devon Moore vs. B-Boy - 4
7. Popular Electronics vs. Contract Killers vs. The Starting Lineup vs. Frankie The Face and Jeff King - 2
8. Michigan Militia vs. Grits N Gravy - Ladder Match - 4
9. Jason Hades vs. Carter Gray vs. Ash vs. Egotistico Fantastico vs. Shane Hollister vs. Yellow Dog vs. Prince Mustafa Ali - 3
10. Dingo vs. Trik Davis - 4
Juice is allegedly 19, looks like Josh Koscheck, but with a Carlito-sized curly, blond afro. Phoenix fits the white trash stereotype pleasantly with pale skin, long red hair, white bandana, and bad tattoos. They go the ten-minutes it was allotted, ending in a draw, and the 25 or so people in attendance seemed indifferent. Juice has a decent look, showed come character, could be good in time, but should shelve the standing moonsault because it looked pathetic. Greg Excellent is one of the worst excuses for a pro wrestler I've seen in a long time. He's a big, fat guy with no timing, zero coordination, an eyesore physique, and likely works at EB Games. You're wrestling in a white button-up shirt and a pair of shiny Tommy Dreamer pants? Really? Bill the Butcher has a John Nord/Bruiser Brody character going, could be cool, but needs better supporting cast to know as Excellent is anything but.
Mickie's lost weight, still looks far too close to any number of neighborhood girls from my old block, but I'll be damned, not even a minute in and she's eating a face-first shot into the steel ring post and I'm happy. I guess this is falls count anywhere, Rain starts chucking bags of candy from the concession stand at Knuckles, a sweet, little old lady in a Cosby sweater rescues the candy box before too many packages of Skittles are lost. Wait, I recognize Rain, she's the former Payton Banks from TNA! Well, no librarian glasses or Robert Roode here. This is a pure crowd brawl, old school, they never even get in the ring. At one point, Mickie puts Rain in a full-nelson and lets ringside fans giver her chops. This has been more entertaining than most of WWE women's '09 output. They're brawling in the bleachers, holy shit, The Hooligans interfered, and double-powerbomb Mickie on the bleachers! What a fucking bump!
Oh shit, Bad Breed's back together? Lock up your daughters and groceries. Axl looks lethargic here, glad he didn't sign with Vince, not to boost his imagined credibility, but because I would have had to see him more often. If chicks dig scars, Ian Rotten is fucking Brad Pitt. Ian suplexes one of the Hooligans off of the bleachers onto the gym floor. A Hooligan member sells a Stone Cold Stunner by Ian better than Jericho, Angle, or Lita ever did. Aftermath sees the Hooligans duct tape Axl to the ropes while they slaughter Ian. As children in the crowd help release Axl, he screams out, "Oh my God, Ian!" in the most campy way possible. This is surreal shit. Gowen is the one-legged wonder, didn't impress me in his short-lived feud with Matt Hardy in '03, and still doesn't do a lot for change my mind. Walker looks like a cross between Giant Bernard and The Barbarian, poor guy, practically has to wrestle himself, only selling he does is as a result of a series of elbow drops Gowen continually dodges. This sucked like Steve-O with a can of nitrous oxide.
Moxley wrestles locally so I've seen him a few times before, here, he looked more confident and had more personality than anybody else. The return of B-Boy was less than spectacular, he looked more like a tax accountant in a Punisher t-shirt than a thug. He did do a couple sick moves, like hitting a running Death Valley Driver on one opponent into the turnbuckles, and later, while one guy hung upside down in the Tree of Woe, B-Boy overhead belly-to-belly suplexed someone into them. Devon did a real ugly springboard moonsault onto everyone on the floor. Moxley does a cradle piledriver, but releases his grip mid-move, which sort of negates the concept of a "cradle" piledriver. Drake absolutely kills Moxley with a Vertebreaker for the win. A decent four-way that didn't fall too far into cutesy sequences and strong-style blow fests.
This convoluted tag four-way is almost too much. Each team is built upon some stereotype or social outcast. Popular Electronics are your Radio Shack working, lives with Mom, lovable douchebags, Starting Lineup are, of course, African American sports fans, the Contract Killers don't look opposing, instead, are two, pimply-faced, 160lbs. tweens, and then there's the "Old Timer" Jeff King working the retro gimmick that Colt Cabana as Matt Classic did hundreds of times better, and Frankie the Face, the least interesting dude of the batch, a chubby, forgettable guy squeezed into a bootleg Super Nova vinyl outfit. They're doing all kinds out lame pop culture spots, stuff paying homage to Voltron, Street Fighter II (by way of a basketball being chucked like Ryu's fireball), etc. Of course, they have to do a big dive section, which comes off real bad, save for Kareem Abdul Jamar's, as he jumps off the apron dunking on a nearby basketball goal (the show's in an old gymnasium) then lets go falling onto all the other idiots. Too jokey and self-referential for its own good.
The ladder match, I almost felt bad for them, as even though they tried a couple nasty spots, going on in match eight out of ten in front of a tiny crowd that's already tired, this felt heatless and forced when it shouldn't have necessarily. I'm digging Sami Callihan of late, and he was the best guy here, involved in some of the more gnarly bumps. The ending came when Sami's partner Michael Elgin got powder in his eyes and accidently powerbombed Callihan on a ladder.
No, a seven-way match, really? Really? Yellow Dog surely isn't Windham or Pillman. Mustafa Ali throws a "shoe bomb" in a really distasteful spot. Shit, this is elimination? Some talent here, lots of people trying lots of stuff, some works, most doesn't. Ash trying to do a CIMA spot is like Cody Deaner trying to do a Billy Robinson spot. It comes down to Hades and Gray, who've had decent showings, and ended with this baffling somersault backcracker move by Hades.
The main event felt a bit more respectable than a lot of the show. Dingo's the first guy to truly embrace being a face, running around slapping high fives, etc. and then there's Davis, who cites Chris Hero as a trainer, has a bowl cut, and looks like he used to get bullied at the Boys and Girls Club so he makes a natural, snotty heel. This went a little over twenty with the ending being Dingo hitting a fisherman buster off of the turnbuckles for the win.
My overall impression of the show, while the scores are terrible, was that it wasn't a bad viewing, it moved along at a good enough pace, it's just that I'd always heard IWA Mid-South was where all the independent darlings from ROH and PWG went to actually work without restraints. I guess in '09 they're evolving, as a lot of the more familiar names are out, gone are the dream matches, and we're now greeted by a bunch of young guys with little to no charisma or talent. Sure, take the tag melee as an example, these dudes are having fun "playing" wrestlers for fifteen minutes, but when there's so many hundreds of hours of amazing performances out there, why would you bother watching green high school drop-outs when Jumbo Tsuruta is one download or DVD away? I'll continue watching all of IWA Mid-South, as well as the top arguably dozen American independents throughout '09, to get a firsthand perspective on what's out there--but if you're seeking quality IWA Mid-South search out Low Ki, Too Cold Scorpio, and Necro Butcher's stuff and leave the Greg Excellent's of the world in the download queue indefinitely.
2. Bill the Butcher vs. Greg Excellent - 1
3. Rain vs. Mickie Knuckles - Falls Count Anywhere Match - 4
4. Bad Breed vs. The Hooligans - 3
5. Keith Walker vs. Zach Gowen - 1
6. Drake Younger vs. Jon Moxley vs. Devon Moore vs. B-Boy - 4
7. Popular Electronics vs. Contract Killers vs. The Starting Lineup vs. Frankie The Face and Jeff King - 2
8. Michigan Militia vs. Grits N Gravy - Ladder Match - 4
9. Jason Hades vs. Carter Gray vs. Ash vs. Egotistico Fantastico vs. Shane Hollister vs. Yellow Dog vs. Prince Mustafa Ali - 3
10. Dingo vs. Trik Davis - 4
Juice is allegedly 19, looks like Josh Koscheck, but with a Carlito-sized curly, blond afro. Phoenix fits the white trash stereotype pleasantly with pale skin, long red hair, white bandana, and bad tattoos. They go the ten-minutes it was allotted, ending in a draw, and the 25 or so people in attendance seemed indifferent. Juice has a decent look, showed come character, could be good in time, but should shelve the standing moonsault because it looked pathetic. Greg Excellent is one of the worst excuses for a pro wrestler I've seen in a long time. He's a big, fat guy with no timing, zero coordination, an eyesore physique, and likely works at EB Games. You're wrestling in a white button-up shirt and a pair of shiny Tommy Dreamer pants? Really? Bill the Butcher has a John Nord/Bruiser Brody character going, could be cool, but needs better supporting cast to know as Excellent is anything but.
Mickie's lost weight, still looks far too close to any number of neighborhood girls from my old block, but I'll be damned, not even a minute in and she's eating a face-first shot into the steel ring post and I'm happy. I guess this is falls count anywhere, Rain starts chucking bags of candy from the concession stand at Knuckles, a sweet, little old lady in a Cosby sweater rescues the candy box before too many packages of Skittles are lost. Wait, I recognize Rain, she's the former Payton Banks from TNA! Well, no librarian glasses or Robert Roode here. This is a pure crowd brawl, old school, they never even get in the ring. At one point, Mickie puts Rain in a full-nelson and lets ringside fans giver her chops. This has been more entertaining than most of WWE women's '09 output. They're brawling in the bleachers, holy shit, The Hooligans interfered, and double-powerbomb Mickie on the bleachers! What a fucking bump!
Oh shit, Bad Breed's back together? Lock up your daughters and groceries. Axl looks lethargic here, glad he didn't sign with Vince, not to boost his imagined credibility, but because I would have had to see him more often. If chicks dig scars, Ian Rotten is fucking Brad Pitt. Ian suplexes one of the Hooligans off of the bleachers onto the gym floor. A Hooligan member sells a Stone Cold Stunner by Ian better than Jericho, Angle, or Lita ever did. Aftermath sees the Hooligans duct tape Axl to the ropes while they slaughter Ian. As children in the crowd help release Axl, he screams out, "Oh my God, Ian!" in the most campy way possible. This is surreal shit. Gowen is the one-legged wonder, didn't impress me in his short-lived feud with Matt Hardy in '03, and still doesn't do a lot for change my mind. Walker looks like a cross between Giant Bernard and The Barbarian, poor guy, practically has to wrestle himself, only selling he does is as a result of a series of elbow drops Gowen continually dodges. This sucked like Steve-O with a can of nitrous oxide.
Moxley wrestles locally so I've seen him a few times before, here, he looked more confident and had more personality than anybody else. The return of B-Boy was less than spectacular, he looked more like a tax accountant in a Punisher t-shirt than a thug. He did do a couple sick moves, like hitting a running Death Valley Driver on one opponent into the turnbuckles, and later, while one guy hung upside down in the Tree of Woe, B-Boy overhead belly-to-belly suplexed someone into them. Devon did a real ugly springboard moonsault onto everyone on the floor. Moxley does a cradle piledriver, but releases his grip mid-move, which sort of negates the concept of a "cradle" piledriver. Drake absolutely kills Moxley with a Vertebreaker for the win. A decent four-way that didn't fall too far into cutesy sequences and strong-style blow fests.
This convoluted tag four-way is almost too much. Each team is built upon some stereotype or social outcast. Popular Electronics are your Radio Shack working, lives with Mom, lovable douchebags, Starting Lineup are, of course, African American sports fans, the Contract Killers don't look opposing, instead, are two, pimply-faced, 160lbs. tweens, and then there's the "Old Timer" Jeff King working the retro gimmick that Colt Cabana as Matt Classic did hundreds of times better, and Frankie the Face, the least interesting dude of the batch, a chubby, forgettable guy squeezed into a bootleg Super Nova vinyl outfit. They're doing all kinds out lame pop culture spots, stuff paying homage to Voltron, Street Fighter II (by way of a basketball being chucked like Ryu's fireball), etc. Of course, they have to do a big dive section, which comes off real bad, save for Kareem Abdul Jamar's, as he jumps off the apron dunking on a nearby basketball goal (the show's in an old gymnasium) then lets go falling onto all the other idiots. Too jokey and self-referential for its own good.
The ladder match, I almost felt bad for them, as even though they tried a couple nasty spots, going on in match eight out of ten in front of a tiny crowd that's already tired, this felt heatless and forced when it shouldn't have necessarily. I'm digging Sami Callihan of late, and he was the best guy here, involved in some of the more gnarly bumps. The ending came when Sami's partner Michael Elgin got powder in his eyes and accidently powerbombed Callihan on a ladder.
No, a seven-way match, really? Really? Yellow Dog surely isn't Windham or Pillman. Mustafa Ali throws a "shoe bomb" in a really distasteful spot. Shit, this is elimination? Some talent here, lots of people trying lots of stuff, some works, most doesn't. Ash trying to do a CIMA spot is like Cody Deaner trying to do a Billy Robinson spot. It comes down to Hades and Gray, who've had decent showings, and ended with this baffling somersault backcracker move by Hades.
The main event felt a bit more respectable than a lot of the show. Dingo's the first guy to truly embrace being a face, running around slapping high fives, etc. and then there's Davis, who cites Chris Hero as a trainer, has a bowl cut, and looks like he used to get bullied at the Boys and Girls Club so he makes a natural, snotty heel. This went a little over twenty with the ending being Dingo hitting a fisherman buster off of the turnbuckles for the win.
My overall impression of the show, while the scores are terrible, was that it wasn't a bad viewing, it moved along at a good enough pace, it's just that I'd always heard IWA Mid-South was where all the independent darlings from ROH and PWG went to actually work without restraints. I guess in '09 they're evolving, as a lot of the more familiar names are out, gone are the dream matches, and we're now greeted by a bunch of young guys with little to no charisma or talent. Sure, take the tag melee as an example, these dudes are having fun "playing" wrestlers for fifteen minutes, but when there's so many hundreds of hours of amazing performances out there, why would you bother watching green high school drop-outs when Jumbo Tsuruta is one download or DVD away? I'll continue watching all of IWA Mid-South, as well as the top arguably dozen American independents throughout '09, to get a firsthand perspective on what's out there--but if you're seeking quality IWA Mid-South search out Low Ki, Too Cold Scorpio, and Necro Butcher's stuff and leave the Greg Excellent's of the world in the download queue indefinitely.
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