WWE Armageddon - 12/15/02

DVD Extra – Edge vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero (12/05/02 Smackdown!) – 5
So, Edge and Angle were the last two men remaining in this elimination match, with Edge playing hurt the whole time. They gave this match decent time, especially for TV, but it just came off flat.

I have to say that the opening of this pay-per-view was not only derivative, but also absolutely ridiculous. There was some really bad animation, ending with some robotic creature (think Bionicle) running through a post-apocalyptic landscape wielding a goofy sword. Seriously… what the fuck?

1. Booker T & Goldust vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Lance Storm & William Regal vs. Christian & Chris Jericho – 4
This was horrible. It ended up with the Chris’ versus Booker and Goldust. The first two teams were eliminated unoriginally and far too quickly. What really irked me is, this was the last PPV of the year, and you could just tell these guys didn’t want to actually work. A lot of wasted talent and time was on display here.

2. Edge vs. A-Train – 5
This was surprisingly good. There were only a few blown spots. I actually liked the general psychology of this, but despised the DQ finish, where A-Train just got frustrated and brought a chair into the ring prompting the referee to throw this match out.

3. Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit – 6
This was pretty good, as per expected from these two, but not their strongest match by any means. There was some decent build, but it didn’t lead anywhere, except a freaking lousy Chavo run-in, and some atrocious spot on the floor I can’t recall.

4. Kane vs. Batista – 2
Some really bad Ric Flair interference marred an already reprehensible match. Batista almost broke Kane’s neck, when he couldn’t keep him up for a powerbomb, and prematurely dropped him on his skull. I blame Kane for this match, too, as he shouldn’t come off looking equally as bad as this obviously green rookie.

5. Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria – 4
This started off quickly, with some pretty neat sequences. Trish actually came off looking like the weak link, which was sort of unexpected. Yet another lame finish, as Victoria used the Women’s title as a weapon. Are you noticing a trend? Here’s a hint… the last four matches have had lame interference or lamer foreign object hindrance.

6. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle – 4
Kurt executed the worst tornado DDT I’ve ever seen; it was just so sloppy, and begs me to ask, why try a move when you know odds are it’s going to look like shit? A lot of people remember Brock Lesnar’s botching of a shooting star press that almost broke his neck, well, Angle nearly did the exact same thing here—landing awkwardly on a bungled moonsault attempt. No matter how good Angle is he can’t compensate for how poor Show ultimately is. There was a ref bump, which is another thing I’m sick of, then interference (surprise!) and an eventual title change.

7. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H – 2 out of 3 falls match – 4
Street Fight – Sucked! This was your typical bad independent brawling fare. They even resorted to using a flaming barbwire board. I like realism in wrestling; so, here’s what I dislike the most about this, given that these two men were in a “street fight”, they shouldn’t be able to really do another match, yet alone two more, where they both perform exactly the same way they did in the aforementioned brawl, discerning any possibility of realism.

Cage Match – Triple H spent a good chunk of this match walking around absently like a kid at his first day in a new school. There was a crappy table spot in here, too.

Ladder Match – The horror! Shawn did a splash off the ladder, Triple H rolled out of the way, and Michaels landed hard and ineptly face first on the mat. Triple H’s pedigree finisher looked revolting. The finish is one of the most laughable, and disgusting in W.W.E. history. Shawn gets knocked off of a ladder, outside the ring, onto four tables. Now, he only really hits two of them, breaking one, another lands on top of him in the melee; now, instead of selling that he was just thrown through tables, and supposedly too hurt to finish the match, Michaels looks like a complete pussy by rabidly kicking the table above him away, in some act of self preservation, I guess—as if the table was going to really hurt him or attack him.

I really don’t like this match. Here, we have two of the biggest egomaniacs in wrestling history in a main event, and they deliver us something comparable to a hardcore match at some random Jersey indy show. This awful show ended 2002, which was a bad year to be a wrestling fan, as the shows were unmemorable, the performances uninspired, and the joke on us.