Friday, December 2, 2005

WWE 24/7 Online

So, for people who ordered the offensively bad Taboo Tuesday pay-per-view, W.W.E. offered an entire month of free of their W.W.E. 24/7 online service. Occasionally, while bored on campus, I’d look through their archives and watch random matches. Below are my findings:

Sting section:
1. Sting and Warrior vs. "Hollywood" Hogan and Bret Hart (W.C.W. Nitro - 10/11/1998) – 5

There were just too many big names in this one, and I didn’t remember it at all, that I felt incredibly compelled to watch it. I shouldn’t have. Some stalling, lazy sells, and cheap crowd heat outline the overlying structure of this heap of dung. I know Sting and Warrior were a team when they were breaking into the business together, as The Blade Runners, so it was kind of neat seeing them together for nostalgic purposes. Otherwise, I couldn’t help but be extremely disappointed, and felt sorry for Hart, wasting his talents bumping for the languid offense of millionaires.

E.C.W. section:
1. Sabu vs. Flash Funk (Raw - 06/23/1997) - 6

I remember watching this match when it originally aired, and being super excited due to E.C.W.’s exposure on Raw. In terms of wrestling, there’s not a lot of selling going on, as both guys know this isn’t your everyday occurrence, and are busting out some seriously crazy stuff. Flash Funk looks especially solid, looking like he was under the guise of Too Cold Scorpio and back in Japan, flipping and flying. The highlight of this clip, and trust me, you need to seek this out and see it at least once—is Sabu, after the match, attempts to put Funk through what appears to be the oldest table in known existence. He does an Asai moonsault, and it doesn’t break, so, he does a ridiculously lazy ass-first splash off the apron, and it still doesn’t break. What makes the clip even funnier is Vince ribbing Heyman, who was also on commentary, about the more “extreme” aspects of Sabu and E.C.W. as Sabu makes a complete clown of himself.

1. Norman the Lunatic vs. Cactus Jack (Wrestlewar - 02/25/1990) - 5

This match is old as dirt, and with Terry Funk as a guest commentator, it’s worth watching, at least twice. Norman looks like an obese version of Eugene, minus the wrestling savvy. Jack takes some of his trademark bumps, including a couple sick spills onto the floor.

2. Ron Simmons vs. Oz (Great American Bash - 07/04/1991) - 4

This horrible match is only noteworthy due to Kevin Nash’s character Oz and all its absurd glory. You’ll laugh heartedly while viewing this one, most likely.

3. Jushin Liger vs. Dean Malenko (W.C.W. Nitro - 06/05/1996) - 7

These guys tore it up, per my expectations, on a valued yet forgotten Nitro match-up. Malenko looked exceptional, and Liger was years away from jobbing to Samoa Joe on a T.N.A. pay-per-view. I’d suggest watching this, as it’s structure and sequences are some of the more quality offerings showcased in the entire 24/7 online archives.

New in October section:
1. Tajiri vs. Brian Christopher - (Raw - 10/13/1997) – 5

A very young Tajiri, against a very green Christopher. Lawler nearly wets himself on commentary. At the time, this was a throwaway match, but now, its kind of fun too look back on. If I recall correctly, Christopher did too a pretty ballsy guillotine legdrop—and that’s about it for memorable spots.

1 comment:

Jessie said...

hey, you've reviewed Cactus and Norman once before...seems you were a little more forgiving in those days...the precursor to Burger Kang...i'd love to find that Lyger-Malenko match...and a good OZ match....i'll leave that up to the "king of wishful thinking"