Thursday, July 3, 2008

WWF Confirmed Hits!

1. Diesel vs. Yokozuna - 1
2. Razor Ramon vs. Goldust - (clipped) - 3
3. Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog - (clipped) - 7
4. Undertaker vs. Isaac Yankem - (clipped) - 2

5. Bret Hart, Razor Ramon, and Savio Vega vs. Owen Hart, Hakushi, and Yokozuna - (clipped) - 4

This was a crusty old VHS cassette Adam handed over to me inconspicuously a few weeks ago. I thought about throwing it off my balcony, but as a purveyor of the art of wrestling, my conscious wouldn’t allow such barbaric disregard and haunted me until I decided to watch all of this. I was stoked for Diesel and Yokozuna… too bad it barely went as long as my last piss. Yoko feeds himself to some Nash punches, Yoko reverses a quick powerbomb attempt with a backdrop, drops a giant leg on him, then goes for his patented “Banzai Drop” but Nash moves and then jumps on Yoko for the quick pin. Granted, it was from an arena show, so I wasn’t expecting gold, but this was a big disappointment. Razor and Goldust was from Royal Rumble ’96 and entertaining but clipped. The action featured highlighted Hall’s stiff right hands, Goldust at the height of his character’s effectiveness, and some fast-paced work.

Bret and Bulldog was from IYH 5: Season’s Beatings, a show notable for Buddy Landell being a last minute replacement for Dean Douglas and getting bumped around like a bitch by Ahmed Johnson. This was also clipped, which really irked me, as everything I saw was tasty like a nice glass of lime Kool-Aid. Bulldog and Bret both work a very physical style here, and Hart definitely brings the best out of Davey, so their body of work is easily some of Smith’s best stuff. They keep showing Diana Hart at ringside, torn between her brother and lover, looking exquisite in a red blouse with white polka dots and lipstick so red you’d swear you were seeing a Poughkeepsie prostitute on your screen. Bret bleeds buckets from a nasty bump into the ringsteps but battles on, ultimately getting the win with a la magistral cradle. I’d like to get my hands on the complete version of this because what was showcased was top-notch.

The Undertaker match is from Monday Night Raw and he’s rocking that ludicrous Phantom of the Opera mask. It’s interesting, as Yankem would later become Taker’s “brother” Kane and both team and feud with him for over a decade. You can tell Isaac is starstuck, awkwardly feeding himself to Taker’s offense when it’d have been easier to earn his respect by blowing him in the back after a painkiller cocktail. The last match is exclusive content from an arena show, which is always welcomed, and pretty entertaining from what we get. I’d always wished of a WWC versus FMW dream match, and I finally got my wish, as if I can’t get Ricky Santana versus Mr. Pogo than Savio Vega working Jinsei Shinzaki will have to do. I remember one Saturday morning on Superstars Jim Ross explained Hakushi’s sudden departure from the WWF being due to humiliation after getting branded by Justin Bradshaw—hell I’d leave to! Yoko’s always good, and Bret and Owen both bring the physicality up a notch, so this ends up being a decent six-man tag and tape ender.

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