Forgive me Father, for I have sinned by watching this pay-per-view.
1) C.M. Punk vs. Elijah Burke – 4
2) Matt Hardy & M.V.P vs. Deuce & Domino – 3
3) Triple H vs. Carlito (No DQ for Carlito only) – 3
4) Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix – 3
5) The Great Khali vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Batista – 4
6) Paul London & Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch – 4
7) John Cena vs. Randy Orton – 2
8) The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry – 1
- The opener with Punk and Burke was a decent bout. It’s a shame that a title that used to mean so much, that being the ECW Title, is now the match that curtain-jerks the pay-per-view. It was about was you would expect from them but it was faster paced than their match at Judgment Day. Quite possibly the match of the night.
- The women’s match was suprisingly good but was still your basic women’s bout. Beth Phoenix is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stagnant division that has only three top contenders consisting of Melina, Beth Phoenix, and Mickie James. Candice is doing much better than I thought she would as the women’s champion but I still think Mickie James is by far tops in the women’s division.
- Batista’s new title reign is hopefully for only a short time until he loses it to either Undertaker or Rey Mysterio. Mysterio added to the triple threat and made it enjoyable to watch because if it had been another incarnation of Batista/Khali then I probably would’ve stabbed myself with a butter knife.
- Hardy did most of the work for his team in a match that roughly zero people cared about. Deuce & Domino got little to no reaction when they came out and that’s probably because they were hardly featured at all on TV during their title reign. The Hardy/M.V.P. feud is getting pretty stale really fast and I don’t see an end to it coming soon.
- Triple H squashed Carlito in a match were the stipulations were stacked against him. By doing this, he effectively killed any and all momentum that Carlito had going into it and now Carlito and his cheap-looking 70’s afro will have to start back from scratch.
- The Raw tag title match looked like the show stealer on paper but failed miserably. Maybe is was due to the fact that the show had been so wretched up to that point that no one gave a shit. I tried, I really tried to like it but I honestly don’t think they worked very well together. If it had been earlier on in the card, I may have liked it but I can’t think of one notable thing that happened.
- Cena vs. Orton was one of the worst title matches I’ve seen in a long time. It went less than ten minutes and ended in a DQ finish out of nowhere. Please, stop insulting my intelligence. Then, for added laughter and enjoyment, old man Cena comes out of the crowd and does one of the worst kicks I’ve ever seen. Afterwards, Coach announces a last man standing match at No Mercy and father and son go for tea.
- Finally, the main event was perhaps one of the worst matches ever. If they wanted the Undertaker to come back strong, then they would’ve had him win in a quick squash instead of a shitfest of a long, boring, snooze-fest of a match. Within the first five minutes of the match, they lost the crowd and never regained them. I saw a guy in the front row falling asleep. Screw this … Henry sucks.
- You thought WrestleMania 2 was bad? Well, you need to watch this because this shows you just exactly how awful a pay-per-view can be when no one on the roster gives two halves of a fuck about anything. Punk vs. Burke was probably the best match on the show and everything else sucked ass. This is without a doubt the worst show of the year, if not the worst show in the last five years. This belongs down at the bottom of the barrel with WrestleMania 2, Heroes of Wrestling, and the UWF Beach Brawl pay-per-view as one of the worst ever.