1. Street Fight: Kamui vs. Kankuro Hoshino - 4
2. Scramble Bunkhouse Death Match: Ricky Fuji, Ken45° & Mototsugu Shimizu vs. GENTARO, Brahman Shu & Brahman Kei - 1
3. Barbed Wire Board Death Match: Mammoth Sasaki vs. Masashi Takeda - 4
4. Fluorescent Lighttubes Ladder Death Match: Yuko Miyamoto vs. The Winger - 4
5. Glass Death Match: Jun Kasai vs. Takashi Sasaki - 6
There's no Xmas like a bloody Xmas. At least that's what my criminally insane uncle always told me. We doin' this BJW style, nig.
The opener started with some chair swinging that went absolutely nowhere except out to the crowd. Being a street fight, you had to know they'd be doing a crowd brawl. This arena is more dimly lit than a porn shop in East Jersey. Kamui looked to be in good shape and hit some aerial maneuvers on the outside, but they were the typical aerial maneuvers you'd seen 12 year olds doing off of their dads' tool shed in the backyard. Kamui took a suplex onto the bleacher and looked to have been folded backwards by them. That, my friends, was sick. Although quite incoherent, the match wasn't necessarily as bad as I would've expected. Both guys hit some decent offense, including Hoshino's STO onto a chair that looked like it hurt like hell, but still I questioned the meaning of their existence. Suddenly, the aluminum garage door opens (yes) and in backs a car that appears to be driven by an intoxicated jackhole THAT BACKS INTO HOSHINO NEARLY PINNING HIM BETWEEN THE CAR AND POST~! Kamui ascends said vehicle (that looks as stable as a check from Ian Rotten) and crashes onto Hoshino with a thud for the win.
How about some Ken45 for dat ass? His hair looks crustier than Steph's crotch the morning after Mardi Gras. After an awkward game of hide-and-go-seek, all six men begin pummeling each other with assorted weapons that looked about as smooth as a night of rough sex with Chyna. There was so much stupid shit going on I couldn't tell left from right. If you want to visualize this match, imagine a terrible ECW-style brawl combined with a bar fight featuring two legless dwarfs. Fuck this.
Takeda is cut up more than a heroin addict with a cutting problem. Mammoth has a chest like a fucking keg and stands taller than a damn building. Takeda took a great powerbomb into the ring and sold it amazingly, kicking his legs and clutching his head. Mammoth buried Takeda's head into the barbwire boards, cutting it up like roast beef, only to be irish whipped into said boards which he took like a mofoking champion. He actually got some wire stuck in his arm after receiving a dropkick in the corner. You'd have to look closely, but it was a subtle kind of sick. Not bad, boys.
Miyamoto came out dressed like a Santa... Santa with lungs full of light tube dust. Winger came out next and looked like a high-schooler. Seriously? A t-shirt and jean shorts, man? He also has much less muscle mass than I remember. Light tubes came out mid-way through the match. Winger took some decent bumps with them, including a few stuck down his shirt, which he was slammed on. I noticed his selling mainly consisted of making nasty faces. I think this dude is legitimately exhausted. Either way, selling or not, his exhaustion really came out through the match and looked good. Miyamoto was his usual crazy ass self, moonsaulting and diving off the ladder like a madman. Not bad in any regard, but I think Winger needs to hang 'em up.
The main event had all the makings for a BJW classic -- two really fucking amazing deathmatch workers going at it in a glass deathmatch. I enjoyed the teasing of the glass spot in the beginning by Kasai especially, being irish whipped into the glass, but slamming on the brakes, kind of like the kid in D3 The Mighty Ducks who didn't know how to brake when skating. Crowd got super pumped as the match continued. Kasai kept connecting with them by looking out to the crowd and making those faces that Jun Kasai can only make. Combine the audience connection with some good bumps and some decent striking and you've got yourself a recommendable match.