CHIKARA Engulfed in a Fever of Spite 5/14/11

"Engulfed in A Fever Of Spite" - Burlington, NC

1. The Throwbacks vs. Los Ice Creams - 3
2. Tim Donst vs. Kamakazi Kid - 4

In normal Ice Creams fashion, we got comedy to start the match. Five minutes later, the wrestling actually started, only to be halted by the Creams hiding underneath the bleachers in the stands. Twelve - that's right - 12 minutes later, the match actually starts. I can appreciate good comedy wrestling, but people are being charged to see this at $15 a pop. Get in the ring and get going. Creams were heeling it up in the ring, especially Ice Cream Jr., who used his cone to hit Sugar in the crotch in the corner. The match itself was rather uneventful, save for the last few minutes when a kid that the Creams were giving a hard time, Caleb (who looked to be six years old at the most) entered the ring. This kid got a bigger pop than anyone. He nailed the Creams in the legs and even got the pin. Kid has some damn fine charisma.

Donst played the jerk factor better than Michael Douglas in Wall Street. Kid seems to be your typical indy guy in that he's reckless and a high flyer who puts his body on the line for a small crowd. He did hit this insane tope that he overshot, hitting his knees on the bleachers much to the chagrin of the crowd. Donst broke out this really sweet submission that looked like a reverse surfboard and also looked like it hurt like hell. The craziness would keep coming as Kid lived up to his name by hitting a double stomp on the lats of a bent over Donst. I think the green bastard got a bit too excited, however, because his spear looked like it was executed by Edge's mentally challenged cousin, Edgar. Match was fun, though, and kid's recklessness really showed through. Don't mind Donst called Kamikaze Kid "Kid Kamakazi" in the pre-match promo. I'm sure they'd like to forget that happened along with the miscue on the card that came up when Kid came out from behind the curtain.

3. Grizzly Redwood vs. Daizee Haze - 2
4. Will O' The Wisp II vs. Ophidian - 4

This match was one of those matches that didn't really make any sense. You've got two evenly matched rudos pitted against each other in the ring in a match that didn't go anywhere. First, Haze really needs to eat more beef because she is skinnier than Bob Saget after a night filled with razor-cut rocks and mirrors. Ridiculous. The in-ring was absolutely blander than tofu dipped in water. Weaker than a month-old cup of tea brewed by WCW jobber Hardbody Harrison.

Will O' reminds me of Psicosis in the hair only. His rope running looked... odd. There was also an awkward head scissor by Ophidian that looked to be moving at half speed. Ophidian's offense looked solid, but it was blinding obvious that Will O' didn't know what to expect. Will's dropkick did look nice. The finish was cool, I will give them that: Will O' went for a springboard 720 splash which did not connect, only to receive a Canadian Destroyer for his troubles.

5. Tursas vs. UltraMantis Black - 4
6. Delirious vs. Hallowicked - 4

I loved the floor work and the battle on the floor, which saw Mantis taking a really nasty chair to the face courtesy of the Norse behemoth... potential pun for metal fans. Mantis really played up the domination factor while he was on defense, selling like everything Tursas did was killing him. His selling and persona are why I adore him so. The fans were totally behind Mantis, he took his time pulling himself off the mat, thus getting the fans behind him event more. Tursas finally got to show his bumping, as he took a particularly nasty looking dragon screw. But dudes, Tursas summoned the powers of Vader and went up top for a moonsault~! That was the definite highlight of the match. Not nearly as bad as I was expecting.
H
allowicked spent the majority of the match attempting to remind Delirious about his time as a cohort of Incoherence before Ares gained control and made him the pet of the BDK. I did enjoy the strike exchange in the match as Hallowicked seemed to be getting fired up while trying to simultaneously remind Delirious and defeat him. Excellent running kick in the corner by Hallowicked. As the match progressed, it got better as both guys were laying their stuff in with their feet. Hallowicked was thrown to the outside and was picked up by Tursas in a Razor's Edge position, but nothing came of it. Hallowicked riggled out of it and it served no purpose.

7. Icarus & Johnny Gargano vs. Frightmare & Mike Quackenbush - 5
8. Jakob Hammermeir vs. Eddie Kingston - 3
9. Obariyon, Kodama & Kobald vs. The Colony - 6

Icarus is now sporting a septum nose ring, making him look even more ridiculous. Frightmare was killing it in the ring. He brings that ADHD-childlike energy to the ring that takes the volume up to 11, and really adds a nice balance to Quack's technical style. Watching FIST in this really makes me realize how much I prefer the two-man team of Gargano and Taylor as opposed to this one. Quack's hot tag was full of energy and looked grand. I dug the superkick spot by Quack and the superkick/crucifix combo by Team Frightening. Fin sucked, but I dug the overall match.

This was about as "meh" as you'd expect. Tursas came out and was a distraction for King the entire time, but King came back and took it to Jakob, who, by the way, looked to be so much better in this match than he did with Green Ant at Big Freeze. Kingston hit a sick backfist and scored the pin. I think I would call this something that rhymes with the word "miller."

AWWW YEAAH Batiri style. Kobald is pretty damn bad in the ring. Bad in a bad way. Obariyon is bad in the best way possible. Ants brought a solid in-ring and good tag team psych with frequent tags and cutting the ring in half. Green Ant had Obariyon in the CHIKARA Special, only to have Kodama come in and completely whiff a kick to the head. Yikes. Obs hit that sweet DDT on the apron that I've come to adore so much. Oh yeah, Batiri started tearing those antennas right off. This was all Dark Army goodness for the better part of the remainder of the match -- just the way I like it: brutal and part human. Fire got a bit off balance on his springboard into the ring, but managed to save himself with a nice kick to Obariyon's chest, who sold it by doing a backward somersault. One thing I wanted to point out was when the Ants did their catapult dive, Kobald look like he took the brunt of it, and was writing around on the floor like he was having a seizure. It was obvious that Fire Ant reached out to check on him, too. Think he got messed up. Obariyon hit all of dat sweet offense like a leaping DDT. Some really good offense by the Batiri in this one.

Watch: The Batiri vs. Colony

Match Avg: 3.9

CHIKARAWESOME Tracker:

"King of Trios: Night 3" - April 17, 2011 (5.1)
"Creatures from the Tar Swamp" - March 13, 2011 (5)
"King of Trios: Night 2" - April 16, 2011 (4.75)
"Chaos in the Sea of Lost Souls" - January 23, 2011 (4.75)
"King of Trios: Night 1" - April 15, 2011 (4.6)
"Caught in a Cauldron of Hate" - February 19, 2011 (4.5)
"Clutch of Doom" - February 20, 2011 (4.25)
"Operation Big Freeze" - March 12, 2011 (4)
"Engulfed in a Fever of Spite" - May 14, 2011 (3.9)