Right now me and the fellas are embroiled in our latest endeavor, Superstars 1996 project, watching and ranking each and every match in a mathematical system too lenghty and boring to describe here, suffice to say, it's been a blast. As a bonus, this first ep of said show was found on a disc and with no room to place it on our ballots being it's a new year, I thought I'd bounce it into the blog for a quick review as we sky rocket on up to the 1,000 th post.
1) Pierroth & Cibernetico v. Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon- 3
Didn't like the super loose headlock from Furnas but we had the glib tongue of Mil Mascaras on commentary to keep me occupied. Furnas completely burns out and takes a sick bump over the top rope, which itself was cool, but didn't serve much purpose to the match. Sloppy brawl outside then leading to the terrible ref finish, loved how the little guy in stripes shrugged off LaFon's flying body press like someone threw a piece of popcorn at him.
2) Flash Funk v. Salvatore Sincere- 4
2 Cold was having a good time, throwing strange kicks left and right, just generally trying anything that comes to mind, and after watching his Shoot Interview, I know he doesn't think much of HBK, but he totally used one of Shawn's dumpy sideways springboards outside. Sal kept pace well and even tried his own springboard splash which looked like a flamingo hitting a Slip and Slide. Cool moonsault near fall and the 450 always looks cherry.
3) The Sultan v. Matt Hardy- 2
If only Mattitude had his gut back in '97, he wouldn't have lost his lunch after that sick Samoan drop. Easy quick squash but not without it's devastating moments.
4) Freddie Joe Floyd v. HHH- 4
Liked the nice little amateur stuff that started this out, this could have been the genesis of Helmsley's pleasure ride beating on guys under him as he bounced his fists off Floyd's head repeatedly. Started feeling like I was wating in line at Macallister's I saw so many potatoes. Match was determined between a 4 or 5 depending on Smother's sell of the Pedigree, and he totally one kneeed it all the way home.
5) The Undertaker v. The Goon- 2
Goon takes a nice beating, but his punches look as effective as Lisa Simpson's. And what kind of hockey player would charge a guy with a hockey stick holding it like curling bar? Match was quick, probably as long as aging Mr. Calloway lasts with Michelle McCool in the sack.