1) Koko B. Ware v. Black Bart- 3
Bart I remember from Global back in the days of heel stables, bungee rope matches, ink in the eyes angles and other assorted oddities. He's a strange choice of fodder for Koko. Man, Koko's dropkick is a damn thing of beauty; he got right up at eye level then thrust his legs as if they were a rocket behind them. Great stuff. Bart on the offensive was as creative as Bob Saget, and for all you Saget fans, that's an insult. Koko tried to pick up the pace at the end with some near falls but Bart was lagging behind like a dying horse. Koko's "Ghostbuster" brainbuster finish was pretty pulverizing though.
2) Warlord v. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka- 2
Oh, man, after joining in NHO nearly 2 years ago, we've seen a lot of tapes and I've now become familiar with people I'd forgotten about and the Warlord is one of them....and he sucks. Superfly in this match was really on, but he was selling the whole match, so working at Warlord's snail's pace was a pretty plodding affair. Snuka looked very strange in this time; actual wrestling boots and the making's of a Jack Sparrow moustache. He looked really old at points and I kind of felt bad for him, as if he was only wrestling to pay for the groceries, but he still took his licks including a stiff boot to the face that knocked him outside. The match ended in some kind of DQ, but I kind of missed it because my daughter was going crazy about trying to get some food; at least that's what my wife said- I think she was brought to tears by Warlord's really shitty workrate.
3) Power & Glory v. The Rockers- 4
Power & Glory, as a tag team concept, is pretty good; in execution, it didn't work out that well. Herc is the muscle, but unfortunately by this time, his best days were behind him. And Roma was supposed to be the young up and comer, yet he never came up. The Rockers were always a fun team to watch but nearly every double team they tried to hit came up short and a lot of it that actually connected looked really weak, as if Stephen Hawking were executing the moves. The ring was a mess at times, with all 4 guys invovled in the action but it didn't really catch my attention until Hercules blew out the 2nd ring rope and fell to the ground. After that, watching the guys scramble to figure out how to end the match was quite funny. The ending sequence lacked creativity and enthusiasm and the last few minutes brought the score down.
4) Greg Valentine v. Saba Simba- 3
This was a mercy 3. Valentine is one of the great veteran workers in the business, but even he was hard pressed to really get anything out of perennial nice guy Tony Atlas, playing the role of a gyrating aborigine as Saba Simba. Atlas' jerky motions during sells made me think someone was controlling him with a voodoo doll. Valentine was dropping just the stiffest elbows on top of Simba's skull at one time and I knew if he didn't control those, he could have easily killed a man. He threw Simba down a few times and just threw him into some shitty leg locks to stop him from bouncing all over the place. A bad DQ finish ended this but at least Valentine took a guitar shot and juiced, which they replayed several times throughout the show.
5) Earthquake/ Dino Bravo v. Tugboat/ Hulk Hogan- 4
This was a pretty non-offensive tag affair. I still find it hard to believe that a guy called "Tugboat" was in main event programs. EQ was pretty stiff with some of his offense and made it look nice and hurty. He took a huge slam from Hogan near the end that made me wish he was still bumping. The finish was blah; a boot and a rollup. I forgot how much hotdogging Bravo did. Lord Alfred Hayes' completely overreacting during the whole match was entertaining as he got giddy over hypothesizing about the partners in this match locking up in the upcoming (at the time) Royal Rumble match.
6) Texas Tornado v. Virgil- 3
Von Erich really looked hopped on some needle candy and I'm guessing this was a test for Virgil to show his skills. He bumped like a dead body, just not really giving to his opponent. Their communication was pretty off, having several mis-timed spots. Von Erich pretty much just pounded him until he put on the claw and hit the discus punch. Virgil sold the finish pretty convincingly and even shook Von Erich's hand afterwards. My wife commented that he was dressed like a stripper before the match began- scary thought.
7) Sgt. Slaughter/ Gen. Adnan v. Hacksaw Duggan/ Dusty Rhodes- 1
God, this was more plodding than a cow marathon or a HHH promo. There was a lot of time to be killed and these four were the perfect candidates. I thought the prospect of seeing two old legends like Dusty and Sarge hooking up was pretty juicy, but I was pretty much dead wrong, much like the American public after the 2004 Presidential Elections. Adnan was damn near immobile and added nothing but dead air to this lame duck. The one bright spot was a right hand from Duggan right on top of Sarge's bald noggin.
8) Mr. Perfect v. Roddy Piper- 4
This was another strange encounter and I give it points mainly because Piper was really on with his comedic face set of moves and Henning was bumping like a damn madman. Piper literally threw Henning around for the first 6 minutes, I'd say and Henning looked like he had just rode a roller coaster all day long because he was flopping around everywhere. I knew these two wouldn't have a classic scientific match, and it felt good to be right again. Both guys can swing a fist and they did so in spades here. This continued the tradition of non-finishes of the night and by this time, i had already called my mortician and bought a burial plot for this long deceased show.