1. The Miz and John Morrision vs. Major Brothers – 4
2. Kelly Kelly and Balls Mahoney vs. Victoria and Kenny Dykstra – 3
3. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jimmy Wang Yang – 3
4. Jeff Lewis vs. Kevin Thorn – 1
5. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry - 2
This was a fairly fast-paced and relatively enjoyable episode of this perennial loser of a show. The opener was a decent competitive tag match, with highlights being Brian Major’s exquisite dropkick, Miz’s facials during sells being particularly good showcasing the pain, and Brett Major making Morrison’s corkscrew neckbreaker actually look hurty. The mixed tag was kept thankfully short. Dykstra kneed Balls hard right in the face early, which I loved, but later, Kenny had trouble executing a tilt-a-whirl headscissors that looked nice until the release, where he got all tangled up like a snotty kid on a playground in his shoelaces. Balls got the win with an inside cradle, I suppose to keep some of the heels’ heat, but I’m puzzled as to why even bother?
Shelton cut a promo trying to make himself seem like an impact player in ECW. He did throw a boot at one point against Yang that’d make Hiro Matsuda blush, if he was still alive. Benjamin busted out a powerbomb into the buckles that was devastating. Shelton countered Yang’s aerial arsenal by blocking a flying crossbody with a gutbuster. Shelton’s finisher was bizarre, the announcers coined it as a “bulldog into a DDT” but it looked nothing like either maneuver to me. Jobber Jeff Lewis looked like former NBA player and current Chicago Bulls head coach Scott Skiles, while Thorn, sporting his new look, came off like a guitar tech for Monster Magnet. This sucked, but the tortue rack/backbreaker finish was painful enough to warrant a satisfactory smile. The main event didn’t go long. Henry was selling Punk’s leg kicks like he just snorted some wasabi. Big Daddy V interfered, ending this utterly forgettable atrocity, and ending the show.