The "Retro Raw Recap" is a new on-going series looking at the year that was 1994 on Monday Night Raw. What better way to start than with the first episode of the year!
WWF Monday Night Raw - 1/3/94 ...
Taped in Poughkeepsie, NY. Your hosts are the always dapper Vince McMahon and Johnny Polo.
1) Yokozuna vs. Dan Dubiel - 3
From the get-go, Polo is hamming it up on commentary with such witty comments as "Dubiel or not Dubiel, that is the question". Vince pulls him back on track as Yoko takes some massive liberties on the scrawny youngster Dubiel. Hard kicks to the face and a bonzai drop that crushes Dubiel's larnyx ends it. The match was nothing but points are awarded for the sick bonzai drop.
2) The Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow & Bastion Booger - 3
I guess you could call this the marquee match-up of the night. Booger can hardly move and looks pretty much repulsive. Polo quips about Booger's "hump" on commentary. The Gunns were still fairly new to the WWF at this point, having only been there about six months or so. It was painfully obvious when Bart severly botches an over-the-top spot. The finish sees Luna massaging Booger's hump (ewww!) and then Booger hugging Luna and the summarily getting beat-up by Bam Bam.
3) Jeff Jarrett vs. John Chrystal - 2
Chrystal gets in the most offense I've ever seen from a jobber in a three-minute beatdown. He gets at least three near-falls on Jarrett in the first two minutes. I guess good ol' Double J took him kinda lightly. Jarrett rebounds and wins with a sloppy DDT. The match itself was solid but nothing notable. Afterwards, the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty challenge the Quebecers to a tag title match next week.
4) Shawn Michaels vs. Brian Walsh - 3
It's main event time! Walsh is sporting a teal ring jacket with stones and I will refrain from homosexual jokes here. Michaels has his way with the young jobber. Walsh gets in a bit of offense but winds up on the wrong end of a superkick and a sick piledriver.
Closing out, Vince hypes next week's show as the one-year anniversary and announces Kid & Jannetty vs. Quebecers for the tag titles and Bam Bam vs. Bastion Booger.