1. Umaga vs. Kane – 4
2. Charlie Haas and Viscera vs. Cryme Time vs. Highlanders vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch – Texas Tornado Match – 3
3. Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito – 3
4. DX vs. Randy Orton and Edge – 5
5. Lita vs. Mickie James – Divas Lumberjack Match – 1
6. Ric Flair and Roddy Piper vs. Spirit Squad – 2
7. Big Show vs. John Cena vs. Booker T – 6
What I Liked:
Kane and Umaga brought the big men beatings. DX versus Orton and Edge, albeit a stale feud, were capable of having a decent heel versus face structured tag bout. Lita’s DDT to score the win was vicious, and the only highlight of a horrifying women’s match. Triple threat matches can often be overwritten, contrived, and an excuse to mask inability to wrestle by having meandering brawls – this match just skirted those offenses, though, and delivered a pretty enjoyable finale.
What I Disliked:
Umaga’s blatant refusal to portray pain; I get it, his character is inherently tougher than the average bloke, but we’d still like to see him flinch when a guy as big as Kane is socking him in the face. Four tag teams involved in a match that barely lasted four minutes? Carlito and Jeff had an off night, both throwing terribly executed dropkicks, and generally looking shitty. Lita and Mickie didn’t work well together, either. They severally botched a few key sequences. Piper looked like he needed a bra. Big Show, at one point, was knocked out of the ring and subsequently disappeared for a long stretch of the match. Not that I was dying to see him, but what in the hell happened?
This show was held nearby in Cincinnati, OH, and after watching it, I’m glad I didn’t make an attempt to see it live. It was largely uninspired, not too unlike your typical episode of WWE Raw, just with a longer running time. Some matches were disappointing that I’d expected more of, namely the Hardy and Carlito debacle, the dreadfully dull women’s match, and the far too short tag team bout. The concept of allowing fans to vote on the matches needs to be done away with, too. They steer the brainless masses to vote for the carefully orchestrated matches they want you to pick. Sadly, more people voted for something titled “Divas Lumberjack” than my country’s last presidential election.