Wednesday, November 23, 2011
The Rock vs. Triple H - Steel Cage Match - WWE Rebellion 10/2/99 - 4
This is the old, classic blue cage, well, except it's painted black, because everything had to be edgy back then, right? A girl in all-black in high school meant daddy issues so this is the wrestling equivalent of that. These guys' breakneck pace feels like borderline slapstick. Michael Hayes' commentary is a little theatric ("Can you say title change!?") but I'd take it over Michael Cole's blathering any day. Rock hits the Rock Bottom after ten minutes -- curious to see how long that incapacitates HHH. Answer? Less than a minute. You get a sense these guys really clicked with audiences but in terms of structure and actual mechanics I prefer the Cena, Orton, Batista, etc. era main events even though those have their own vocal critics. This punch-heavy formula is fun in small doses but can get tiring quickly. Henber takes a bump so both guys leave the cage and start brawling around ringside. Rock puts Triple H on a table that looks like it was constructed during medieval times, scales the cage, then drops an elbow off but unsurprisingly the table just laughs in response. Back inside, Ross is talking about fish and chips, and HHH is bleeding.. and there's the "damn Bulldog!" as J.R. screams. Bulldog in blue jeans -- not his best look. Shane McMahon runs down to try to put a stop to these shenanigans but Davey Boy ruins his night with a powerslam on the ground. Bulldog then beats Brisco and Patterson's old asses. This is in the U.K. thus his being put over like a monster. By the time Chyna runs out this has gotten more convoluted than the web of lies this guy Jason once told my group of friends (Wait, so you ate lunch with Michael Bay, had a girlfriend murdered, and got a blowjob from a school teacher? Right). Still waiting to rediscover an Attitude-era main event worth a damn.