IWA-MS "A Matter of Pride" 1/16/04

1. Trik Davis vs. Emil Sitoci - 2
2. Ryan Boz vs. Steve Stone - 3

Sitoci was working surprisingly snug, laying in even basic shots like clubs to the back, etc. Davis looked thinner than Ian Rotten's wallet. Roll-up finish was flavorless. Boz at least looks the part, most of this roster is skinny guys that live with their parents and fetishize FMW or older, overweights slobs. This wasn't bad, Stone doing some head-scratching junior offense when he's got the build of an '80's brawler was stupefying, and having a roll-up finish for the second match in a row was as uncreative as Falling Skies.

3. Mike Quackenbush, Gran Akuma, & Jigsaw vs. Blackjack Marciano, Eddie Kingston, & Hallowicked - 4
4. Allison Danger vs. Daizee Haze - 1
5. Matt Sydal vs. Spyder Nate Webb - 4

Next match your Chikara Wrestle Factory school showcase minus the silly stories and seasoning you'll get from those guys nowadays. I thought I'd enjoy this in a puerile way but it instead struck me as fairly plodding and soporific. I bumped it up an extra point as Quackenbush aped Manami Toyota's Victory Star Drop (always one of my favorite finishers) as part of the finishing sequence. Next match was a lot like Polio but less funny. After a few numbing minutes Danger did an awful STO (Haze took it like a turtle being rolled over onto its shell) leading to yet another roll-up finish. Next match features a guy that'd go on to be a legit star and one who's future would be the van driver on Half Pint Brawlers. All joking aside, I'd rather see this again than any of Bourne's recent 4-min. TV bouts with the likes of Swagger, etc. This got enough time for each guy to do some stuff and take the lead, Webb, while goofy, kept it reigned in enough, and most of the flying spots we anticipated came off nicely.

6. Jerry Lynn vs. Danny Daniels - 3
7. I Quit Match: J.C. Bailey vs. Ian Rotten - 4

Daniels looks like a guy that'd pay a prostitute to give him an Oakland Ascot right on his chest. Kind of a stilted showing here. This was like a Jerry Lynn's Greatest Hits CD but the disc was scratched and had chili spilt on it. Some clunky moments, found Danny as appealing as dry paint, and the post-match with all the talent parading Lynn around felt mendacious. Match stunk worse than Don Gorske's breath. It's hard to see the next match and put context aside. Knowing that Ian facilitated Bailey's death at such a young age and watching him beat his brains in with unprotected chair shots and mutilating his flesh with scissors and shit just rings false considering. This felt like a bloodletting at J.C.'s expense and I'm sure Ian loved guys who he could bludgeon and staple shit to. Not sure which I find more odd: Ian aping B-Boy or Von Erich spots. The match-ending ringpost figure four was a dull denouement.

8. Chris Hero vs. Delirious - 3
9. Three Way Thumbtack Death Match: Mad Man Pondo vs. Necro Butcher vs. Corporal Robinson - 3

This was an exercise in tedium. The bulk of the match was Hero controlling Delirious with a cravete. Delirious is supposedly part-lizard, right? Sounds like another botched Cobra Commander brainchild. Delirious sold a hard forearm shot to the face with a dazed stumble like the expression of someone being traded to the Minnesota Timberwolves. Watching a match like this I can't help but glance over at the stack of 5000 wrestling DVDs nearby and wonder why I'm not utilizing my time watching something better. When Hero was finally bored he finished it quickly on his own terms. Next was a pretty mundane main event, didn't go very long, possibly a good thing that, and felt like a typical Saturday night to these sycophants. Necro was the outsider from Texas in a CZW t-shirt so it seemed clear the other two were taking potshots at him and pretty much just brutalizing him at their leisure in some sort of barbaric initialization ritual. Bump of the match/night was probably Necro getting press-slammed off of the apron onto the hard gym floor. I actually deducted a point from my original score as the lack of creativity or fire here really made this underwhelming. Also, the one of the last big bumps was dog shit, Pondo had Robinson sitting on the top turnbuckle, then Mad Man (standing on the second rope) tried to DDT him off onto a sculpture of chairs and it looked awful with Pondo sort of hopping off like a shopping mall Easter bunny and landing on his feet (not even committing to the spot) and Corporal just going head-first like a moron. I just got a bunch of shows from this era and I'm hoping the quality picks up in a big way as this sucked harder than trying to beat Mega Man 4 when your brother's burning your guys' frozen pizza in the other room while you're firing missiles at Dive Man.