PWG All Star Weekend 6 Night 2

1. Karl Anderson vs. Alex Koslov - 4
2. Chris Hero vs. Eddie Kingston - 6
3. Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black vs. The Young Bucks - 5
4. Roderick Strong vs. Jack Evans - 3
5. Human Tornado vs. Candice LeRae - 3
6. Necro Butcher vs. Claudio Castagnoli - 3
7. El Generico vs. Susumu Yokosuka - 4
8. Joey Ryan and Scott Lost vs. Masato Yoshino and Naruki Doi - 3
9. Super Dragon vs. TARO - 2
10. Bryan Danielson vs. CIMA - 5

Overall a fairly flaccid effort, as PWG struggles to find its own identity, taking snippets of stuff from elsewhere and not presenting it in any sort of new or exciting fashion. I liked the opener (sort of a NJPW vs. AAA bout). Kozlov got off his comedy stuff, it didn’t go too long, Anderson brought some physicality, etc. Only thing I disliked offhand was Karl cracking wise with the fans at ringside, referring to some of his offense as his “new shit”. Sort of breaks that wall between fans/performers when you’re referring to your offensive tools like they’re new tricks you learned on a video game. Hero and Kingston have a longstanding feud, compiling a list of brutal matches in several different companies, the theme of stiffness running through them all. This had a slower pace, but worked, as each guy methodically dished out big servings of nasty strikes. One awesome moment was Kingston dishing out Kobashi-like chops in the corner, only for Hero to laugh, so Eddie just head-butted him right in the fucking face. They traded shots in the center of the ring, more meaty strikes than I could count, and I loved it. Finish was stupid, though, not sure if Hero really hurt his leg or not, but they went to a roll-up out of the blue, a sloppy one at that, which made Kingston look like a bitch.

I had fears about the following tag. Thankfully, the Age of the Fall boys lead, so the Bucks never got too out of control and it didn’t devolve into overkill. Tyler showed moments of fire and aggression that were welcomed, like laying in some particularly nasty shots to Matt Jackson’s back. Jacobs didn’t look as good, appearing kind of goofy in spots trying to get into position. I’ve seen Evans and Strong wrestle each other in multiple companies, too; but, unlike Hero/Kingston, they’re shit together is stale beyond belief and they showed no signs of changing anything. I’d dig Jack as a rag doll more if he could actually sell. Plus, when Evans gets in any desperation strikes, he should be kicking with all of his might, but his offense (including the tired, flippy shit) looked weak as hell. Why did Jack scream “Hayabusa!” before attempting a move off of the top he never did?

I almost tossed the next match a bonus point for being something completely different, but I can’t deny it was largely shit soufflé. There was a weird molestation vibe throughout it. Tornado laid in some of his stuff, which was fine, but I think he had a chubby so not sure how I feel about it in retrospect. He stands over her and screams, “I’m going to piss on you, bitch!” What sort of fucked up childhood did he have? I’m sure his father’s proud. There was no finish. Then, ala ECW, the bullshit fed into our next match, one I found patently dull. I didn’t feel like Necro and Claudio had much chemistry together. Castagnoli sold a spot into a chair by giving a goofy, dazed stare into the horizon; the only thing that could have made it funnier was if he’d done it wearing a Groucho Marx mask. I dug Claudio doing a giant swing to Butcher on the floor, spinning him in circles knocking all the ringside seats away like picket fences during a tornado.

The second-half of the show left even less of an impression on me. It could be because it really did stink, or, maybe it was my friend Geo and my discussion taking a decidedly more interesting turn that helped me spurn this show. You watch it and let me know. I was surprised how strangely quiet the crowd was for most of Yokosuka and Generico. Susuma blocked a superplex with spanks? Generico is at his best coming from behind, but I never bought Yokosuka as his tormentor, so this fizzled out faster than a sparkler in Steve-O’s anus. The following tag match was even more painful to watch. Doi appeared to have fallen asleep while in a long and tedious Lost bodylock. Parts felt downright stupid, like a sequence between Yoshino and Lost were it was painfully obvious them getting into place for each other, so each guy could get their dreary shit off. Joey Ryan’s hot tag sequence featured some of the weakest clothesline I’ve ever seen. These things were limper than Droz’s dick post-op.

Man, Super Dragon got fat as fuck. Dude looked like a black hole. TARO played the role of his whipping boy. Something about the scenario seemed incestuous and insulting. Like, Super Dragon can just show up, about 150lbs overweight, and just take liberties with a guy because he’s Super Dragon? No thanks. My buddy Geo said Dragon had ballooned so much he looked like slob wrestler Brain Damage. I said he looked like a guy that actually had brain damage. The finish, where TARO went for a hurricanrana from the top and Dragon just dropped him on his head was a nice, painful sendoff.

The main event ended up a thirty-minute draw. I decided to watch it a second time. The first time I watched without commentary (recommended) and since I was going to watch it again, I decided to try it with the commentary track the second time around. Bad idea. The guy announcing was just awful, plus, he kept continually saying that, since they’d previously had a thirty-minute draw, this time they had a sixty-minute time-limit, which clearly wasn’t the case, as I had already watched the damn match and it was a half-hour! CIMA showed nice frustration facially early after a monkey toss. CIMA did the coast-to-coast springboard dropkick, but what’s the point when it landed squarely on Danielson’s shoulder with roughly no impact? Why did Bryan spend the entire match working over CIMA’s shoulder and arm when he’s a high flier that relies on his legs? CIMA’s tope suicida doesn’t quite “pop” like it did back in the Toryumon days. As stated above, we don’t get an actual finish, although there was some horse shit with a ref bump, a second ref, etc. After the match, lost in translation, CIMA starts chanting that he wants “5 more days! 5 more days!” That’d be the longest 120 hours of any wrestling fan’s life.