Burger Kang #9: Would You Like Gagne With That?

Manabu Nakanishi vs. Wataru Inoue - NJPW 8/30/09 - 3

Wataru starts with a spear then chucks Nakanishi outside. Inoue hits an awesome flying knee off the apron then attempts to crossbody Nakanishi over the guardrail unsuccessfully. I wasn't expecting this to start off with such a bang. An exchange of chops and forearms follows. Inoue hits a sick German suplex but Manabu sits straight up afterward like a zombie. Nakanishi later returns the favor and Inoue has this fantastic crestfallen look on his face after getting crumpled. Manabu picks him up and does a bridging German for the win. It was short but sometimes brevity is a good thing.

Tsuyoshi Kikuchi vs. RG - HUSTLE 9/26/09 - 2

RG plays to the crowd beforehand and Kikuchi isn't impressed. RG tries to exchange strikes but gets mauled. Kikuchi often has this sneering facial expression that makes him resemble a Madball. Out on the floor, after about a half-dozen reversals, Tsuyoshi takes a wild, sloppy spill into the guardrail. RG sells an atomic drop by jumping about four-foot into the air holding his ass--hilarious! RG does the Shinzaki praying rope walk until Kikuchi grows bored and crotches him. Kikuchi wins with a flying headbutt from the top, it lands directly on RG's shoulder and looks kind of lame. Aftermath sees RG tell some jokes until Kikuchi does a flying leg lariat right into his face.

Damien and Halloween vs. Ultimo Guerrero and Rey Bucanero - CMLL - 5

I've always loved the character Halloween but it's been a long time since I've seen his work. After some basic mat work that doesn't lead anywhere Ultimo and Halloween have a mid-ring face-off and give each other some slaps in the face as if to say, "alright, motherfucker". After a spinning leg lariat Halloween does some Muta-like hand gestures. Ultimo is lying flat on his back on the apron, Rey charges at him and is lifted by Guerrero's feet catapulting him over the ringpost, somersaulting onto Halloween in a cool double-team maneuver. Guerrero gets sick air on a missile dropkick onto Damien. Damien gets the first fall victory with a Muscle Buster on Ultimo.

Halloween and Damien make a creepy, effective heel team--wish they could have gotten booked as such in WWE. They do some sort of double-team on the ramp where they attempt toss Bucanero face-first but it looks like shit. Both rudos get chucked back into the ring by Guerrero. Rey and Ultimo hit simultaneous somersault planchas onto the rudos on the floor. The technicos are awarded the second fall? I guess via countout. This is beginning to resemble one of the murder scenes from Sunshine Cleaning--too bad Amy Adams isn't around to scrub up Damien from the floor.

The rudos decided they've had enough and try to ditch but get caught on the ramp and manhandled. The rudos have a valet, a Spanish version of Lita with a singapore cane and dyed cherry red hair--wonder if the curtains match the drapes? Guerrero hits a powerbomb off the top onto Damien in a "holy shit" moment. The rudos hit simultaneous suicide dives on the floor and Halloween looks like he almost kills himself barely making it through the ropes. Ultimo tosses a charging Damien up onto the ropes but Damien doesn't get his footing and botches the spot. Bucanero hits Faarooq's Dominator and he and Ultimo pile onto Damien for what I believed was the finish. No, it continues, and almost as if to rectify the earlier one, Halloween does a suicide dive onto Guerrero. Rey trips Halloween leading to a distraction and roll-up by Guerrero for the finish. The crowd pops as Rey and Ultimo stumble around, falling on top of each other, celebrating like drunken college girls doing shots and looking for their missing friends.

Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou vs. Bob Sapp - DREAM 11 - 1

I'm looking forward to this. Sapp charges out of the corner which is an intimidating visual. Sapp throws some giant shots but nothing connects and Rameau single-legs him. Sokoudjou works some ground and pound, placing a knee on Bob's chest to keep him down while he mercilessly landed punch after punch onto Sapp's large cranium. The referee calls it but Thierry throws a couple extra shots in anyway. This didn't even last two minutes. Somebody take this horse (Sapp) behind the barn and put him out of his misery.

Yumi Ohka vs. Shu Shibutani - BJW 4/06/09 - 4

Some BJW house shows popped up online so you know I downloaded every last file. Starts off with a test of strength and Yumi proves she's strongest, chucking little Shu in the corner where she digs her heel into her throat. Ohka has a great look and would be ideal in TNA. Shu delivers some elbows to the top of the head while applying a sleeper which I dig. Yumi gets caught by a drop toe hold and goes face-first into the buckles, she ran slowly into it though exposing the spot. Shibutani hits a back senton that'd make Dick Togo blush. Ohka does a Vader Bomb out of the corner into an elbow drop in a cool spot. Shu has used several DDTs throughout. Shibutani hits an absolutely stunning missile dropkick. I love joshi. Shu hits another ill back senton this time from the top turnbuckle. Yumi does a good job selling in-between moves, even on offense, clutching her side, head, etc. This was surprisingly good and the 350 fans at Takaoka Techno Dome got their money's worth.