ECW on Sci-Fi 12/16/08

I just got a MacBook from my wife as an early Christmas present and I needed to clear this show off my DVR anyway, so I figured I'd go ahead and type up a review while I watched.

Show starts with Matt Hardy doing a promo, talking about there being a big party on SmackDown! for his brother, and new WWE World champion, Jeff Hardy. I wonder if Jeff will bring any of his "Aluminummies" to this shindig. Just don't spike the bowl of fruit punch, we don't want Jeff getting his third wellness policy strike. Chavo comes out wearing a Chavo t-shirt (I'd love to know how many of these have actually sold.) Teddy Long interrupts dressed like a fucking elf--damn he looks like an idiot. Teddy says Vickie Guerrero needs to stay away from the Christmas cookies, and that, whenever he sees her he loses his appetite. Burn!

1. Chavo Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy - 4

- chavo starts aggressive
- chavo takes backbody drop spot better than rude
- but following bump over the top rope not so pretty
- hardy skipping in the ring, man has some very silly mannerisms
- chavo goes to work on left arm
- matt sells keylock like spilled hot sauce on penis head
- guerrero has a wide-eyed look selling some shots
- rolling koppo kick by chav - bad camera angle
- matt does a lot of little subtle afterselling of the arm pain
- chavo after bulldog sells by popping mouth like a fish
- matt hits Twist of Fate out Two (of an attempted Three) Amigos for win

Conclusion: Good for a little taste, a snippet, but felt like the trailer for the match they could have together. Would suspect these guys could turn it up on a bigger stage, but this felt like an average opener, which is disappointing considering the ECW champ was involved.

Fit FInlay vs. Gavin Spears - 3

- Spears a former blackjack dealer?
- i'm familiar with spears' OVW stint - had a major program w/ cody rhodes that got a lot of heat
- selling well for finlays initial beatdown
- gavin gets advantage on floor- rams into ringpost
- finlay slaps him across the face - gets me harder than pics i've seen of marasi tomei's pieced nips in The Wrestler
- gavin graduated from Randy Orton School of Chinlocks
- Finlay's samoan drop into frontroll makes kennedy's look ass
- Celtic Cross for fin

Conclusion: A perfectly fun and violent squash, my favorite variety, so acceptable for what's presented but not worth seeking out (unless you really miss those old WCW Saturday Night squashes of Finlay's.)

Dj Gabriel and his girl are dancing when Mark Henry dressed as Santa and Tony Atlas dressed as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer show up to spoil the party. Truly fucking surreal shit, as Henry delivers a haunting poem while Atlas stands behind him with a large, blinking red nose.

Next promo somehow tops that, as CM Punk, Ricky Ortiz, Kofi Kingston, and Tiffany are in the back. Punk really shined here, reminiscent of his dry sense of humor stuff pre-WWE. Ortiz is trying to give Tiffany a gift but Punk is trying to wrestle the box away from her. She gets a patented Ricky Ortiz "Rally Towel", Punk says thats as good as getting a car or XFL jersey Christmas morning. Punk takes it and starts swinging it around, inadvertently smacking all their cherub faces, saying how big a fan Kofi is and how its a shame Ortiz doesn't have one for him while Kingston tries to defer by changing the topic as he clearly thinks Ricky is as ridiculous as the rest of us.

Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, Ricky Ortiz vs. John Morrison, The Miz, and Jack Swagger - 4

- big kick by Kofi into JMs ribs to start
- sternum first bump into corner by JM
- punks powerslam looks better than buddy Samoa Joes
- faces clear the ring and pop the crowd
- wonder if punk will convert tattoo since pepsi has new logo
- miz and morrison both improved their selling this year
- kofi pushed over rope by Swagger and bumps ass-first on stairs
- remember when Kofi beat "Superstar of the Year" Jericho for IC belt? Adam doesn't--he was taking a dump during the match
- very sloppy, careless back suplex by Ortiz on Jack
- Kofi totally missed a suicide dive to the floor on Miz, catching maybe the top of his boots and thats all
- gut-wrench powerbomb by Swagger on Ortiz for the fin

Conclusion: A decent, fast-paced six man, with a lot of the young talent that are making waves in the WWE right now. Ortiz is rough, but Punk and Kofi brought the explosiveness, and Miz and Morrison are capable of making anyone look good.