Friday, November 28, 2008

NHO Road Report #2: Ring of Honor - "Escalation"

A = Adam
D = Didge

Dark Matches
1. Alex "Sugarfoot" Payne & Ninja Blue vs. Hunter Matthews & Jordan McIntyre - D:1 A:1

D: Ninja Blue? Jesus Scrap Iron is that the best you can up with? Sound like the Garbage Man gimmick I was using in the backyard. A lot of blown spots in this one with none of them being too techincal. Just basic wrestling. That gerber baby look alike Sugarfoot was the only one who showed promise. Sprinkle some salt on these boys, they need some seasoning.

A: This was about the quality of the stuff you would see on Hulk Hogan's "Celebrity Championship Wrestling". By that I mean they didn't stray too far from the basic formula. Believe it or not, Payne was the most experienced. The ninja's costume looked like it came from the local thrift store, complete with imitation sword. I must agree with Didge when he said that these boys need some seasoning, although I would prefer some paprika and thyme, because this was salty enough to leave a bad taste.

2. Bobby Dempsey vs. Ninja Yellow - D:0 A:1

D: This was a dark match squash. Ninja Yellow (see comments from first match)! I think there was four moves in this match with the fin being a cradle DVD. Alot of bad strikes by that ninja. Go back to working security at the show bitch!

A: This was a squash in more ways than one. Not only did Dempsey make quick work of the other generic ninja (who's to say it's not the same ninja from before but with a different color belt), he squashed the poor jobber's neck with a sick finisher. This one gets a mercy point only for the fin.

Main Show

1. Brent Albright vs. Davey Richards - D:3 A:5

D: I was really disappointed in this match. This was a grudge match but it only went ten minutes? These guys never got out of first gear. Davey's strikes were hit and miss and a lot of Sweet and Sour interference. This matched was phoned in. No one took a bump, no high impact moves, and not many hard strikes which both men are known for. Sad!

A: I was looking forward to this match but it didn't deliver to my full expectations. The crowd was super quiet. Davey and Albright have a good chemistry together and I think they would've benefited if they had more time to develop their match. Albright did score the win following some Sara Del Ray, Larry Sweeney, and Bobby Dempsey interference. Afterwards, the slow build to the eventual Dempsey turn continued with a beatdown until Albright scared them off. There was enough presented to warrant a decent score but with more time, these two could have a kick-ass match.

Nigel McGuinness Promo!
D: Nigel McGuinness cut a promo where he declared that his 3-Way Title Match was going to be Non-Title. Oh, ok it's cool to just change your mind in a middle of a show. Not that we paid good hard earned money for a show to see a title match. Sorry Adam, no live title change for you! And what is the deal with a new backstage interviewer some random Randy Orton look alike with tats! And if your a backstage interviewer why aren't you backstage?

A: I wasn't too pleased with the backstage interviewer, either. I believe his name was Kyle Durden and it looked like had just stepped out of the local American Eagle store with fresh duds on. Anyway, this dude had Nigel come out and then Nigel cut a promo mentioning, among other things, that the main event would be non-title and that Dayton was a "shithole". This was a blatant bait-and-switch on the main event.

2. Go Shiozaki vs. Sami Callahan vs. Rhett Titus vs. Grizzly Redwood (Four-Corner Survival) - D:3 A:3

D: Grizzly Redwood is Mich Franklin in a fucking lumberjack gimmick. Flannel, suspenders and large beard. He was doing chops to the the legs like he was chopping down a tree but they were weak sauce. Lay that shit in. Rhett Titus is funny as hell. He actually showed up to work but he didnt bump either. Sami Callahan needs to leave his bush league indy garb at home. Stevens did it, why can't you? He was trying to do some NOAH strike spots with Go but it wasn't working out. The only reason this gets a score was for Go not handing over. He laid in some stiff chops, some good Moves and the "Go Flasher" finisher live is tremendous. Liked Go but flush the rest down the toilet.

A: I saw a vignette of Redwood earlier on before I left for the show. I was a fan until I saw his work. His double axe-handles to the legs of his opponents were weak and his act was all comedy. Callahan I remember from HWA television in 2006. He was shit then as a supposed cannonball but he seems to have improved a bit since then. They worked a little thing with Go and Rhett Titus during the match where Titus played like he was afraid of Go. Speaking of Go, this whole match seemed like a light workout for him and he seemed really out of place.

3. Jay & Mark Briscoe vs. Irish Airborne (Jake & Dave Crist) - D:2 A:4

D: Well Irish Airborne blew their shot at getting back on the roster and most of their spots in this match. In the beginning the Briscoes were hot, but after a Jay Briscoe snapmare where he runs off the ropes to deliver a dropkick, Dave Crist is motionless except for his chewing gum waiting for the boots. God, are you even gonna try to sell or what? It instantly mad me laugh out loud. Another blown springboard spot by Dave seemed to blow Mark's knee out in which they automatically went to the fin of a stuff piledriver on Jake for the win. Mark limped to the back and Jay was definitely pissed. Sorry Crist's, just wait for my friend Dusty to give you a call to do another EWF match in front of 60 fans you spot monkeys.

A: As much as I hate to admit it, I used to think the Irish Airborne were cool. The first time I saw them was in this same building under Lotus and Crazy J. Since then, I've realized that their work was shit. This was their return to ROH and they looked awful. Dave just sat on the mat, emotionless, chewing his gum and waiting for Jay Briscoe to hit the spot. The Briscoes dominated the Airborne. Cut to the end and Dave fucks up a springboard and Mark's knee in the process. After this, Jay and Mark stuffed Jake and walked to the back, super pissed. Hey Airborne, go back to making pizzas at the Wright State cafeteria. This gets a decent score because of the Briscoes doing their usual and having a good match.

4. Roderick Strong vs. Chris Hero (Lights Out Match) - D:3 A:4

D: Roderick looked like he has lost about 20 pounds. This matched sucked Del Ray dick! Hero dominated most of the match with only half of his strikes landing and the other half slapped off the side of his banana colored pants. The only time it picked up was when Strong was on offense. I just can't belive that a man with less upperbody build that Richard Simmons is gonna knock everyone out! It's not gonna happen. You can tell the Pearce fingerprints on this match with the run in no contest shit. God, your fucking up the fed - can't you see that you pasty fuck!

A: I was looking forward to this match as well but it failed to meet the expectations I had for it. That being said, it was a decent match and would've gotten an extra point had it not been for the dogshit fin. Roderick's chops were on as usual and he hit a couple of sick backbreakers that I enjoyed thoroughly. Hero's offense was crap as usual and somehow grew a beard, despite ever hitting puberty. This, of course, led the ROH fans to immediately compare him to Triple H. Huh? Anyway, the fin saw God and everyone run in to end this one in a no-contest, a decision the fans were more than upset with.

5. Kevin Steen & El Generico vs. Jimmy Jacobs & Delirious - D:4 A:5

D: This match was ok for the fact it has some decent tag work. There was some heel stalling from Jacobs and Delirious which I expected. These guys broke a sweat but didn't bust their ass either. But that seems to be par for the course for Dayton. The tag champs were over huge. Well, as huge as they could be for this shitty crowd. Most guys got their move set off. Then some Titus distraction of Delirious ended the match. I would have given it a five but I cant recommened an average forgettable tag with a bad fin.

A: This was a good match. Jacobs and Delirious just coasted through the bout, doing only what was necessary to entertain the fans in attendance. Steen and Generico, however, put forth their usual good efforts. There was one spot where Generico was in a headlock and the fans were chanting "Ole!" and stopped. Steen called out from the apron "don't stop!" and the fans started chanting again to energize Generico. Then, Rhett Titus ran down to distract Delirious, who was then rolled up for a pin. Jacobs verbally berated Delirious afterwards, then hugged him. Uh ... ok?

6. Bryan Danielson vs. Claudio Castagnoli - D:6 A:6

D: Danielson doesn't take a day off. He should tell the rest of the boys in the back that. Claudio looked good as well as this matched started out on the outside hot with some europeans. Bryan's sell is really off the charts. It's the little things he does that only can be caught by the trained eye is what makes him the best wrestler in the states. These guys turned it up but not all the way as the match was just too short ... fifteen minutes maybe. Like in the match prior, they pretty much went through their move set, and just when you think Claudio had the match in the bag, Danielson's small package gets him the win. After the match Claudio tries to damage Bryan's knee even more with some chair shots. This brings the Irish Airborne out to stop the madness. Why the Airborne? And they fuck it up too with Dave no selling a gutwrench but Claudio muscles him over any way is a weird altercation.

A: I agree with Didge when he says that Danielson never takes a day off. This was definitely the best match of the show. They did some good brawling on the outside to start off and it showed the emotion involved in the match. Claudio controlled the majority of the match. Both men looked crisp but the match only went about 15 minutes. The fin saw Danielson get out of a Ricola Bomb and get a small package for the win. Afterwards, Claudio went after Danielson's knee with a chair in an effort to become a more full-fledged heel. This was a solid bout but nothing really out of the ordinary.

7. Austin Aries vs. Tyler Black vs. Nigel McGuinness - D:5 A:5

D: Nigel took the night off too. Non-title bullshit. Nigel started the match by wrist work on both men to prove he's the better wrestler. Wow, you proved your point. Tyler Black has won me over. Hes put on some more weight and now looks great. This was maybe the only match other than Danielson/Claudio where the timing was on. Aries actually took a couple spills to the outside. But once again the match just seemed like a exhibition because it was about fifteen minutes long with Aries pinning Black. It was a good match but it just doesn't have any legs. The victory by Aries just seemes anticlimatic.

A: I'm curious as to why they put Black and Aries in the same match, since they have a similar facial look these days. This match definitely had potential but they never really stepped up and went to the next level. Nigel just lingered around mostly and not really putting forth much effort. Aries hit all his trademark shit as did Black. Once the match was changed to non-title, you had to figure that either Black or Aries had to come out looking strong. Aries did get the win, which gave him some momentum going into his match the next night.

Summary:

D: This was a disappointing show. There were two big problems ... one, the crowd was dead. The quitest ROH crowd I have ever heard. They just couldn't get into the matches, except the section we were in was the comedy section where random bad puns were flying back a forth with shitty brititsh humor, sexual harrassment of Allison Wonderland (and she did look hot), and Sweeney shouts. Second, the workers didn't show up to wrestle. They had a PPV taping in Chicago the next day so no one wanted to shoot their wad for a shitty Dayton crowd with matches that didn't even matter. Except for Go, Danielson, and Claudio, everyone mailed it in. This wasn't a ROH show it was a exhibition. My friend Neal was with us, and he works at Hot Topic, and a funny thing he told me was he could pick out 8 different accessories from the store that the Age of the Fall were sporting. Wow, what message are they really sending. Down with comformity? In closing, I will not be returning to a ROH show anytime soon being it was shitty or they don't return to Dayton with is a real possiblity. Man that crowd was dead!

A: It seems like I've beat this point to death but, on paper, this show had potential but it seemed like most everyone took the night off and saved all their energy for the pay-per-view taping the next night. There was really nothing on this show that I would go out of my way to seek out and was a disappointment overall. Afterwards, at Denny's, one of the Irish Airborne walked in and someone at the table said it appropriately, as it was "ego stroke time" for the sandwich-making wannabe star. The last recommended Dayton show was "Breakout" in January 2008. I've heard that ROH may eliminate Dayton from the schedule and if so, the April date will most likely be the last. Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the XVW morons that I ripped apart back in the spring, were handing out flyers for their next abomination. I don't even think I need to comment on that mess.

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