Sunday, March 23, 2008

ROH: Dissension, Cleveland, OH 01.28.06

1 Jay Fury v. Adam Pearce- 1

I hate watching this tubby piece of shit. You know this is going to be really over the top when Fury does a springboard Asai moonsault 1 minute into the match. This blew.

2 Jimmy Yang v. Jay Lethal- 4

The thought that kept popping into my mind in this match was "Make me believe that you are in a fight!" and it wasn't happening. Lethal was lethargic he looked like a tranqulizied chimp. He kept doing this all these 80's style heel shticks but none of them were getting over because he put absolutely no emotion into doing them. He did a corner bump off a belly to belly overhead and looked like he was playing on a jungle gym. Yang's kicks were on target but he was on defense nearly the whole match so it didn't really matter.

3 Jimmy Rave/ Alex Shelly/ Abyss v. Tony Mamaluke/ Sal Rinauro/ Delirious- 4

I think Alex Shelly is one of the most talented performers, if not the most, in the sport today. I think he would make a great upper midcard charismatic heel for any promotion, if he was given the chance. Sal fell on his ass during his ring entrance and just sat there like a confused baby- probably worth seeing this match just for that. The tag work was entertaining, fast paced at most times and everyone played their roles pretty well. Mamaluke was pretty sloppy trying to pull shit off at a super fast pace and there was a dive section at the end that looked really bad and contrived. There was nothing overtly offensive in this one, everybody was putting forth some effort and Prince Nana's usually entertaining.

4 Low Ki v. Jack Evans- 5

I give this a boost simply because the finish was so damn brutal- Low Ki's corner mushroom stomp while Evans was in the tree of woe; this is the best one I've seen and by best I mean violent. The pace was slower than you would expect and Evans continually throws really weak punches but he bumps his ass off, that's for sure. It's really fun to watch him crash and burn at least once in a match, after trying a really ridiculous high risk move that even if they guy didn't move, he would have been 4 feet away from him anyways. Ki is actually very good at selling, even when Evan's offense doesn't call for it.

5 Claudio Castagnoli/ Ace Steel v. Nigel McGuinness/ Chad Collyer (Anything Goes)- 3

Talk about guys being out of their element--- you have three scientific wrestlers and Ace Steel in a "hardcore" match. It just didn't work. There was one really incredibly asinine spot where Claudio had Nigel on the ground, then started piling chairs on him, then he just fell backwards onto them. So Lame- has to be one of the most uncreative things you could ever do in that situation. I'd say 3/4 of the match was in the ring, so the anything Goes stip was pretty useless. Basically, it gave these guys an excuse to do a sloppy tag match when a normal one probably would have yielded better results. And Ace Steel....does a workout consist of eating cookie dough and wacking off? He looked to be in good shape but the dude ran out of gas after only 10 minutes and became a salted slug till the end. Nigel and Claudio delivered some deadly Euro forearms, that's the only good thing in this.

6 Austin Aries/ Roderick Strong v. Jimmy Jacobs/ BJ Whitmer- 5

This was perfectly acceptable tag team wrestling. Aries and Strong are a wonderful team and have tons of great moves that complement each other. Jacobs was fun playing the lovesick puppy to whoever their manager chick was and Whitmer was Whitmer, which as long as he stayed out of the way he was fine. Aries' selling was on point and came off like a huge star, not an Austin Starr, but a huge star, and definitley not that fucking Vince McMahon star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, not that shitty star. Anyways, the finish was just there, it didn't grab you or anything and I think the dissension between Jacobs and Whitmer could have been played up more.

7 Matt Sydal v. Christopher Daniels- 7

Daniels is one great wrestler and he takes charge with Sydal and they give a very good, back and forth underdog v. veteran match. For some reason, Sydal's mismatched neon green tights and blue boots were very distracting to me. Sydal cut down all of his crazy offense and held back some, but still dazzled the crowd with some really stiff moves. Daniels is an anchor that could hold the Titanic down; he mixes the right amount of high flying with ground wrestling to really make a compelling match. And of course, my favorite part of a match, the make or break part, the finish: This one puts it over the top as the best match on the show. Definitley worth seeing.

8 Bryan Danielson v. AJ Styles- 7

This is most everything you would expect from these two. They had a great storyline coming into it ,which was AJ had already beaten Danielson twice before with the Styles Clash, so they teased that a whole lot throughout the match. Danielson continues his reign of the King of Sells, with a close second being Randy Orton. He shows exactly where things hurt and how badly. AJ bumped his usual ass off but the finish wasn't as grabbing as the previous match and there weren't a lot of those classic A. Dragon scientific reversal spots. This was still much better than most anything on the show and I think AJ is sorely missed in Ring of Honor.

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