1. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma vs. Marcus Alexander Bagwell and 2 Cold Scorpio - 5
2. Shockmaster vs. Awesome Kong - 1
3. Lord Steven Regal vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat - 6
4. Cactus Jack and Maxx Payne vs. Tex Slazenger and Shanghai Pierce - 4
5. "Stunning" Steve Austin vs. "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes - Best 2 out of 3 Falls Match - 5
6. "Ravishing" Rick Rude vs. The Boss - 5
7. Sting and Road Warrior Hawk vs. The Nasty Boys - 4
8. Ric Flair vs. Vader - 9
When I was a kid, I like thousands of other youngsters, was a huge Hulk Hogan fan. But, in the early 90’s, as I got a little older, I started rooting for wrestling’s notorious villains. That being said, I was a big Ric Flair fan, as he surpassed Hogan as my personal favorite. So, when they announced that his career would be on the line in the main event of Starrcade ’93, you better believe I was sitting there watching intently, on pirated pay-per-view. Let’s see how that show holds up today, shall we?
The show starts with a good tag match, featuring the likeable good guys against the older, more cocksure veterans. Bagwell and Scorpio worked well together, utilizing a lot of their agility and speed. Orndorff’s best days were far behind him, and Roma’s sells were atrocious, as after being hit, he’d prance around like a flamingo or something. Still, this match had good energy, and was a fine opener.
Shockmaster and Awesome King lasted less than two minutes, and featured over 600 pounds of pure unadulterated manhood. Granted, nothing could have made this a good match, per se, but I’d like to have seen it get at least a few more minutes, so they could have at least attempted trying to tell a story. Regal and Steamboat was a clinic, however; a real joy to watch. It went to a time-limit draw, which happened all the time in Regal’s old title defenses, but was wrestled like an actual athletic competition and very compelling.
The following tag match featured four rugged men, all sporting beards and tubby waistlines, and was a bit of an eyesore to be honest. It was less of a brawl than I’d imagined, though; which isn’t exactly a good thing. Watching these guys try to work over body parts with actual wrestling holds is as surreal as stumbling upon a sibling’s homemade porno, not that I’d know what that’s like or anything.
Rhodes and Austin was good, but I’ll be damned, this is the third match between these two that I’ve watched in less than a month. They’re capable of better than this, too; the structure of this match was weak, and the performances not up to par with the rest of their series together. Seeing Rude and Boss (Ray Traylor, or Big Boss Man) work together was kind of interesting, not just because they’re both unfortunately dead now, but I couldn’t recall them ever doing many matches together. I’ve become a huge fan of Rude’s as of late, his knack for selling is great, and he utilizes psychology brilliantly. I wanted to honor The Boss, so I went to his gravesite where I planned on leaving a copy of this show and an old figurine of him in remembrance – only to find his ex-nemesis Nailz already there, on his knees masturbating on Traylor’s tombstone.
Sting and Hawk as a tag team is mind-blowing enough, but pitting them against The Nasty Boys is just asking for my brain to implode. This match was pretty lengthy, and I don’t know if it was just that I was watching this at 2:00AM, but I had a real hard time getting into this one. On paper, you’d expect one thing, but the end result wasn’t what I anticipated. I forget the finish, too; but I’m pretty sure it was something preposterous.
The main event is a classic match in my eyes. I realize the score is high, but it’s my score, and I believe it warrants the recognition. Sure, nostalgia has a lot to do with it, but to me when I was growing up, this match was equally as important as Hogan vs. Andre at WrestleMania III. It still holds up, too; Flair said in his book that Vader was punching him hard legit, and the evidence is clear on the video. This is a very physical match, and Vader’s just a pure monster, demolishing Flair. The Charlotte crowd is absolutely on fire, Vader’s the perfect bully, and Flair’s victory still exhilarates me every time I see it. This is arguably the greatest Starrcade main event ever.