Thursday, November 9, 2006

TNA Bound for Glory 06

Here it is: TNA's World Series, their Superbowl, their Wrestlemania , for better lack of words. It was in Detroit( the first time they had done a PPV in another city besides Orlando) and the crowd responded mixed through the whole show.

1 Kevin Nash X Division Gauntlet- 4

Austin Starr( really Austin Aries) was the guy made in this match. Tenay said he had been pumped for weeks on TV, although I never saw one commercial for him( of course, I fast forward through most of their promos- thanks to DVR). By the way, speaking of Impact, it's one of the worst put together wrestling programs in the history of the industry. It needs immediate improvements, like yesterday. Back to the match, it featured your usual X Division culprits, including a woman, a midget, some Black Magic, and 5 seconds of work from the always fun Petey Williams. Starr won, but was the subject of every bad wrestling joke that happened in the match; and his Jesse Ventura needs work.

2 AMW v. The Naturals v. Team 3-D v. James Gang- 4

This was an average TV match. None of these teams were fueding and none of them had anything to gain from this. It wasn't even a No. 1 contenders match; it was giving them a paycheck. For the brief time the match was going, it was pretty stiff, and nothing was screwed up, so that's a plus.

3 Runt v. Abyss v. Raven v. Samoa Joe (Monster's Ball w/ Jake Roberts as the Guide to the Labyrinth in their minds)- 3

Roberts' involvement added little to this slop fest. Entertaining, yes, but good wrestling, that's a stretch Reed Richards couldn't make. Runt took a stiff chokeslam on his head from atop a scaffolding( I don't know how it's possible either, and I witnessed it) then Abyss jumped onto him like a little kid would back fall onto his bed before bed time. He looked pretty clumsy; but I'd be remissed if I didn't mention Joe's senton on his face into Thumbtacks. Or mention Raven wore a birdcage to the ring. (Insert your own Raven joke here)

4 Eric Young v. Larry Zybyszko- 0

I couldn't tell you a single move performed in this match. Larry looked like a lecherer in his skin tight bicycle shorts and no shirt. He looked like he was Bound for a Glory-hole in this match.

5 Senshi v. Chris Sabin- 6

These guys were the first to legitamitely work hard this night. In the past, their chemistry together has been questionable, but they pulled together a great match. Senshi's kicks were dynamite, and Sabin executed all his moves superbly. A Sabin title win was surprising and helped kick the grade up a little bit. But, his alien trunks and teenage girl haircut still make him look like Jeremy Borash's after show date.

6 Christian Cage v. Rhino (8 Mile Street Fight)- 2

When you look at the match, then the grade you may ask yourself, why? Certainly you thought this was better than a 2? Well, watch this match and tell me one thing that went right. You'll hurt your brain doing it. The brawl in the back- SUCKED! The ride on the Zamboni- Rhino stalled the thing out! Then, the weapons- we had a fake lamp post that looked like a prop from a bad Sherlock Holmes movie, an official "8 mile" road sign and the usual ladders, tables, and chairs, oh my. Nearly every weapon shot was blocked by one of the two guy's hands, and the finish was worse than a backyard federation. This match sucked my ass.

7 LAX v. Christopher Daniels/ AJ Styles (6 Sides of Steel)- 7

The best match of the night, hands down. Homicide got sick with the fork AND a coat hanger. Daniels bleed like a freak. AJ got suicidal by coming off the top of the cage and Hernandez, well, looked cool climbing the cage, but pretty lame coming off of it- but regardless, he was more brutal than Cobra Commander with blue balls. All 4 guys left themselves in the ring and beat each other down. Homicides' Gringo Killa finisher on AJ was the closest TNA's ever come to looking like they belonged in a Japanese ring. Awesome tag match and so refreshing to see a clean finish.

8 Sting v. Jeff Jarrett ( w/ Kurt Angle as Guest Whatever he wanted to be)- 5

I nearly gave this a 6 because the match itself, the pace and the plot of it, was pretty solid. Angle I would say, was only there to get himself over, ex: by beating the ref's ass several times and added nothing of substance to the match. Sting and Jarrett showed they can still wrestle and punch to a lesser degree. Sting's psych was right on, acting very nervous about his career being on the line and his new gear was a refreshing change. Another clean finish was what the doctor ordered and another TNA show is in the books. An average show overall, with a few very good matches.

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