1. Johnny Nitro v. Jeff Hardy - 4
2. Kane v. Umaga - 3
3. Spirit Squad v. Highlanders - 2
4. Degeneration X v. McMahons and Big Show - Hell In A Cell Match- 4
5. Trish Stratus v. Lita - 3
6. Carlito v. Randy Orton - 3
7. John Cena v. Edge – TLC (Tables, Ladders, Chairs) Match - 5
I watched this pay-per-view from the confines of a loud sports bar; granted, I wasn’t able to jot down any significant notes, outside of my waitresses’ phone number, but I did watch the show pretty closely (when I wasn’t distracted by the pinball machine or eating teriyaki wings). Ultimately, it was a passable, if not slightly above outing – although rife with problems as expected.
They gave Nitro and Hardy more time than I’d assumed they would, which wasn’t bad, and with the exception of some sloppiness they built a pretty decent match. The finish, featuring lame interference as Hardy got hit with a shoe, killed any chances it had of being truly recommendable. Kane and Umaga was destined to be ugly, and it was, but strangely enjoyable in a perverse way. Again, the ending, a double countout, definitely hindered any chance of me remotely finding this memorable. Spirit Squad and Highlanders gave us the most insufferable match of the event, not because it was particularly bad, but because nobody put forth an iota of effort. I should also mention that it was the third match in a row that was spoiled by a horrible finish.
The Hell In A Cell match was a bloodbath the likes of Linda McMahon’s final period, and as equally grotesque. The pace was very plodding, and albeit there was a spectacle unfolding before my eyes, I found it hard to get engaged in whatsoever. You’ve got five guys involved, two of whom aren’t wrestlers, and another, who’s a giant sack of shit – need I say more? I found it patently insulting.
Trish’s farewell match wasn’t too bad, but we’ve seen her and Lita have superior matches on multiple occasions. Lita doesn’t have the courage or heart she once possessed, and Trish attempting her headstand headscissors 4 times was 3 times too many. Carlito and Orton are talented guys, but their match amounted to squat. With the exception of Carlito’s shoddy springboard moonsault, the only thing I’ll likely remember about this match is how much better it should have been. The main event was a watered-down homogenized version of the once famed TLC match. The structure of the match was non-existent, with both guys basically moving from one poorly conceived garbage spot to the next, eliciting little more than cheap heat and the occasional gasp of shock and stupidity. Personally, I thought the table spots they so desperately wanted us to like were uninspired, and the match as a main event a failure to put it mildly.