Monday, June 5, 2006

TNA Sacrifice 2006

1) Petey Williams vs. Jushin Liger – 4
2) Christopher Daniels & A.J. Styles vs. America’s Most Wanted – 4
3) Raven vs. A-1 – 2
4) Bobby Roode vs. Rhino – 3
5) The James Gang vs. Team 3-D – 4
6) Team USA vs. Team Mexico vs. Team Japan vs. Team Canada – Gauntlet Battle Royal – 6
7) Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner vs. Samoa Joe & Sting – 5
8) Christian Cage vs. Abyss - Full Metal Mayhem Match - 4

Petey and Liger stunk the joint up so bad that I had to open a window just to get the stench out. Liger is getting really, really old and does not need to be competing on any level, save for a county fair where aged ring vets are welcomed with pride and free corn dogs. The worst thing was that the satellite feed cut out in the middle of the match so no one was able to see the finish. All four guys in the tag bout looked totally lost. AMW looked sloppy as hell and didn’t sell a damn thing from Styles and Daniels. Gail Kim threw a nightstick down from the catwalk and we presumed that Bossman threw it from the heavens. Since that wasn’t a viable option, we concluded that Abyss had just gotten his “big wiggle” on with Gail and that was one of the toys they didn’t use. The champions (AMW) retained the belts and pissed on the legacy so much that I’m surprised that James Storm didn’t whip his schlong out and let loose in the middle of the ring. Raven needs to realize that he’s a wrestler not a float in the Macy’s parade. When you can’t even make it over the guardrail for your entrance, it’s time to give it up. As for A-1, it looked like they pulled some musclebound meathead off the beach in Orlando and threw him in the ring. Oh yeah, the match sucked ass. Roode and Rhino was another unsteller encounter. Roode came out in a Paul Orndorff-esque robe and I’m surprised that they didn’t tout him as the long lost son of Rick Rude. This was a shitty match and makes me wonder why they gave this twelve and Petey vs. Liger only seven.

Team 3-D had another bad showing against The James Gang. These teams were good in their prime but that was six years ago. Now, the only common thing between them is the bottle of ‘roids that Kip and D-Von share before each show. Half of the guys on Team Mexico I’d never heard of but they were by far the most energetic. I didn’t quite understand the booking, though. If you’re supposed to be giving each team an equal chance, why not save the eliminations until all competitors are in the ring? Anyway, it was a decent match but not the best battle royal ever done. Joe worked good with the likes of Steiner and Jarrett and the match was mainly used a vehicle to bump Joe up to the NWA World Title division. Steiner looked like he had hitched himself up to an airhose just before the match. Cage and Abyss was a God-awful excuse for a main event. Christian only did one decent spot the whole match while Abyss bumped his ass off. Cage is just not getting over as a face champion, plain and simple. You know, I used to have faith in the TNA product as an alternative to the crap WWE has been putting out recently, but if this is any indication where TNA is headed, I don’t want to be along for the ride.

1 comment:

Jessie said...

i love the first line in this review..sadly that Hall of Famer mailed it in that night...i just have one question: got any footage of Dvon and Kip's late night bargaining sessions?