1. Kaz vs. Petey Williams - 6
2. Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, and Moose vs. Gail Kim, Roxxi, and ODB - 4
3. LAX vs. Team 3-D - 3
4. Awesome Kong vs. Serena Deeb and Josie Robinson - 3
5. AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle - 6
6. Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage vs. Rhino vs. Robert Roode vs. Booker T - King of the Mountain Match - 5
So, a phone call twenty minutes before the show starts by Adam gets me racing out the door, fellow writer Didge, fresh from his weekend sickbed, picks me up and we race out to Trenton, OH to watch some live pay-per-view wrestling. I'm still catching up on my wrestling TV, currently deep in this past January's footage, so I'm a bit out of the current loop of angles, feuds, etc. Still, I was excited to see the show; unfortunately my enthusiasm dwindled as it proceeded, which I'll expound upon below.
Show started off great, say what you will about Petey, and he definitely has his vocal 'net critics, but he's improved steadily. TNA has a couple gimmicks based upon former, preexisting characters, and the only one that's panning out for me personally is Williams' adoption of Scott Steiner's "Big Poppa Pump" persona. The opener worked for a few reasons: great pace, some of the night's better nearfalls, blood, innovative offense coming off legitimately and not just showy, and good heel antics and playing to the crowd by Petey. All in all, this was one of the better stories told, and most entertaining matches of the show.
The women's six-person tag match was moderately good, the TNA woman's division has been delivering this year, with this not being an exception, although there wasn't any huge "holy shit" moments or scene stealing performances. It was my first time seeing Moose, she took the brunt of the faces' offense, but didn't offer much in the personality department. Roxxi threw some of the meanest looking strikes, including great forearms, but her selling was easily some of the worst.
I really thought the LAX versus Team 3-D match sucked, probably one of, if not the, worst match these two teams have had together. It went long, which wouldn't have been bad, save for if Team 3-D hadn't worked the entire thing in relative slow motion. Bubba was the biggest piece of crap out there. He offered absolutely zero emotion or facial selling on anything--talk about just collecting a check. I'm also sick of the LAX formula, all their matches follow it, Hernandez comes in eventually for a short, hot burst of offense, but the rest of the match is built around Homicide working hiptoss and armdrag sequences.
The Awesome Kong thing was kind of cool, although hard I'm sure for the live crowd to really get into, as it wasn't executed as a match per se, but her facing random women from the crowd. After beating the hell out of Deeb, OVW wrestler built as local-area MMA fighter, Kong wanted the second chick that stood up to accept her challenge, leading to Jeremy Borash's outrageous line, "you want to fight the Memphis girl?" that left me rolling on the floor laughing hysterically. See, Josie was built as being a hometown girl, although she wrestles regularly for Harley Race's overlooked company, to try to illicit crowd heat. She started off kind of hot, though, laying in some shots, but Kong annihilated her, too. I'm a huge Kong fan, but this could have been saved for TV. And I almost forgot, stretching this segment out even longer, Eric Young brought out an Elvis impersonator who Kong crushed with a sitdown powerbomb to end it.
Next was the Jey Lethal/So Cal Val wedding segment, which was awful. Even the video segment that aired before it blatantly laid out the simple fact that Sonjay Dutt was going to turn on Lethal and ruin the whole thing. So, during the ceremony, Dutt grabbed the mic and spat out some badly delivered lines, leaving Val to run to the back mortified, and a crew of "legends" to deal with Dutt. Jake Roberts, Kamala, George Steele, and Koko B. Ware were at ringside for this, adding comic relief if nothing else. Koko did get in a nice right hand in the ensuing brawl, and afterward, as things settled down you could see Ware in the background indiscriminately destroying the wedding set to our befuddlement and enjoyment.
Didge was dead wrong when he exclaimed pre-match that AJ and Angle was going to be nothing but a brawl. I guess that's what happens when you try to correctly read the mind of booker Vince Russo. Instead, thankfully, we got a twenty-minute wrestling match. There was very little shenanigans or horsing around, just straight-ahead, hard-hitting competition. Styles' nose got busted, Angle's neck looked like it got broke (again), and I was loving it. I was especially relieved to see AJ given the opportunity to actually perform again. The only thing that truly hurt this was the dead crowd. You can't solely blame them, though, they'd just sat through nearly 40 minutes of crap, a terrible Elvis impersonator, and a "wedding" went awry. They didn't pop for any of the nearfalls, Angle working his patented anklelock submission, nothing.
The main event looked kind of concerning on paper, with the cast of characters involved not the best candidates to work a gimmick match together. Ultimately, it did fail, on multiple levels. Rhino was very much typical Rhino, nothing new or special there, just his routine moveset and protected bumps. Roode offered up absolutely no offense, but did do his share of the bumping, which mostly looked fine. Booker T seemed to be the only one with noticeable fire, but that didn't necessarily translate into a particularly memorable performance, outside of a nice flurry of strikes on Joe on the floor. Christian was inconsistent, he came to Memphis with a few big spots planned, and arguably only one of them really came off well. Christian's dive off the ringside cage onto the other guys looked ludicrous, he looked like a paraplegic falling out of a wheelchair, and him being knocked off the apron was one of the most pussy table bumps in recent memory. The biggest factor against this match was Joe; it was obvious the boys laid it out so he'd be the ring general, but he looked suspiciously loose and lost in it. Another complaint, why have ladders around ringside if you're not going to really use them? There were, like, two minor bumps utilizing them and that's it. The ending was also kind of anticlimactic, as Joe hit the "Muscle Buster" on Roode and then quickly sprinted up the ladder. Fuck, speaking of the bad utilization of the ladder as prop, Booker T laid out all the other guys with belt shots at one point, then proceeded to pose in the ring for over a minute, waiting for Nash to hobble his decrepit old ass into the ring for a spot, instead of climbing the ladder and scoring a victory.
Overall, I couldn't recommend this show strongly as a whole; too much stuff on the second-half was comparable to being doused with a gallon of aardvark semen. Also, it has just been reported that one of the crewmembers lost their lives post-show by falling off a scaffold. So, that pretty much cements this show as being a black eye on the business.
Monday, June 9, 2008
In Your House: Revenge of the Taker
1 The Sultan v. Flashfunk- 3
2 Legion of Doom v. Davey Boy Smith/ Owen Hart- 4
3 Rocky Maivia v. Savio Vega- 3
4 Jesse Jammes v. Rocka-Billy- 2
5 Undertaker v. Mankind- 6
6 Bret Hart v. Steve Austin- 5
The Good:
Flash funk had his dance routine down pat.....and had some good showy offense that even Vince was marking for.....Owen Hart, just everything he did from organizing the tags on his side and doing cutoff spots to showing off his Slammys.....Faarooq's mic work while commentating the Rocky-Savio match.... I always thought the Nation gimmick was stupid but he had some good lines during his commentating, ex. "Ahmed, we been trading an eye for an eye, it was your kidneys, now my arm and next will be your pancreas...but i'd rather have your life." .....Hawk's decapitating clotheslines....Jesse Jammes' halfway decent singing voice....Taker's selling....Mankind's suicidal performance including one of the nastiest table spots ever, where he goes head first into it like a dart at a dartboard....Burning Paul Bearer's face with a fireball.....Bret takes a good stair bump later on shoulder first, w/o putting his hands in the way....Austin hobbling on knee during offensive run, selling it well
The Bad:
The Sultan (just everything) from his weak ass punches to his sloppy selling.....LOD putting no effort into their offense, really by the numbers and their selling was pretty poor.....Bad Dusty finish for Tag Title Match..... Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler bickering over whose hat is stupider while forgetting the match in the ring, very WCW-ish.....Rocka-Billy's dancing, obviously having no idea what he was supposed to be doing, completely moronic....Honky Tonk's same old song and dance, just not entertaining anymore......Shitty post match brawl with Taker and Mankind where they blantantly screw up trying to hit Paul Bearer with a fireball with Taker falling on his knee to push Bearer in front of him and Foley throwing a piece of paper at Bearer's face, with no flame attached......Bret's promo backstage, just fumbling and searching for something to say, came off amateurish......Bret hitting Austin's leg with a chair against the steel ring post but obviously missing......Austin's sloppy brawling, which put up against Bret's scientific approach really made this match feel like a mess.......having 3 Dq finishes complete with interference.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
WCW Capital Combat '90: Return of Robocop
1. Teddy Long vs. Paul Ellering - Hair Match - 1
2. Midnight Express vs. Z-Man and Brian Pillman - 5
3. Rock 'N Roll Express vs. Fabulous Freebirds - Corporal Punishment Match - 6
4. Doom vs. Steiner Bros. - 7
5. Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger - Cage Match - 5
I remembered watching this show nearly 18 years ago on illegal cable out at an aunt's house in West Chester, OH. I'd been hoping to see it again eventually, and due to Adam's tireless efforts, I was afforded an oppourtunity to do just that. I'm guessing this was a commercial release and not the pay-per-view version, as it transitions too nicely, plus missing some stuff if I recall correctly. The two things I remembered from childhood were Robocop bending the metal bars of a cage Sting had been locked in (don't ask) and the Freebirds and Rock 'N Roll boys whipping the hell out of each other in some type of diabolical match that seemed downright disturbing way back then.
"Precious" Paul, while looking better than expected shirtless, in a lame throwaway bout to start isn't a good way to open a major show. Thankfully, it goes short, like Long's lists of lovers. Kudos to Long's ridiculous acting antics, though, those months in theatre class finally came in handy for something. The gimmick of the Midnight Express match was that their manager James E. Cornette was placed in a cage that was raised above the ring so he couldn't interfer. He should have whipped out his pathetic phallus and took a piss on the crowd. The cool story of the match is that it's believed the heels need to rely on Cornette to get a victory, but here they pull out a win sans any outside interference. The match goes awhile, the bulk of which is the heels working over Pillman, who does a satisfying job selling most of the punishment and displaying the proper emotion. The hot tag to Zenk doesn't change much, as after a short flurry, the heels take back control before eventually outwitting everyone and scoring the win and belts. No epic Eaton bumps, really, for shame.
I thought the Corporal Punishment match was a standard strap match, but it's actually different, as there's two whips that are used, similar to a cat-of-nine-tails whip like the one your fetish father has hidden in your parents' closet. This match is pretty brutal, maybe not as grotesque as my childhood reflections, but a lot of painful fun. The Freebirds take a lot of the shots, prancing around selling the stinging pain, but still finding time to whip their hair of course. There isn't as much infamous Freebirds stalling as anticipated, with the pace being pretty straight ahead. Memorable if for no other reason than being different.
I loved the Doom versus Steiners match, Jim Ross states beforehand it'll likely be the most physical bout you'd likely see anywhere, and he was right about that. While the Steiners selling and psychology isn't up to par with many of the era's teams, they counterbalance that by being powerful animals, quick to drop a guy right on his skull without a pause. There's a couple "holy shit" moments here that I had to rewind a bunch. My three favorites are a radical Frankensteiner, Rick doing a Steinerline to Butch Reed, but for whatever reason Reed doesn't go down and Steiner just wipes out in a violent car-crash like moment, and lastly, Rick doing a tombstone/piledriver hybrid that drops Simmons right on his skull in one of the most frightening bumps I've seen possibly ever. Wow! The heels get the big win and belts here, too.
The main event is classic Four Horsemen-era Flair, just a raving madman in an earlier promo, and a complete workhorse in-ring. Luger is limited, of course, but still young enough and in good condition here to keep up. There's an anti-climatic finish, which steals this of being truly worthy seeking out, so don't fret if you don't have this in your personal collection. And yes, the Robocop appearance is on the show, where the dastardly Horsemen lock up Sting only to have Robocop slowly walk down the aisle to free our blonde hero from his prison. Watch the looks on Ole and Arn's faces as they bumble over the guardrail and through the crowd to escape Robocop--priceless.
2. Midnight Express vs. Z-Man and Brian Pillman - 5
3. Rock 'N Roll Express vs. Fabulous Freebirds - Corporal Punishment Match - 6
4. Doom vs. Steiner Bros. - 7
5. Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger - Cage Match - 5
I remembered watching this show nearly 18 years ago on illegal cable out at an aunt's house in West Chester, OH. I'd been hoping to see it again eventually, and due to Adam's tireless efforts, I was afforded an oppourtunity to do just that. I'm guessing this was a commercial release and not the pay-per-view version, as it transitions too nicely, plus missing some stuff if I recall correctly. The two things I remembered from childhood were Robocop bending the metal bars of a cage Sting had been locked in (don't ask) and the Freebirds and Rock 'N Roll boys whipping the hell out of each other in some type of diabolical match that seemed downright disturbing way back then.
"Precious" Paul, while looking better than expected shirtless, in a lame throwaway bout to start isn't a good way to open a major show. Thankfully, it goes short, like Long's lists of lovers. Kudos to Long's ridiculous acting antics, though, those months in theatre class finally came in handy for something. The gimmick of the Midnight Express match was that their manager James E. Cornette was placed in a cage that was raised above the ring so he couldn't interfer. He should have whipped out his pathetic phallus and took a piss on the crowd. The cool story of the match is that it's believed the heels need to rely on Cornette to get a victory, but here they pull out a win sans any outside interference. The match goes awhile, the bulk of which is the heels working over Pillman, who does a satisfying job selling most of the punishment and displaying the proper emotion. The hot tag to Zenk doesn't change much, as after a short flurry, the heels take back control before eventually outwitting everyone and scoring the win and belts. No epic Eaton bumps, really, for shame.
I thought the Corporal Punishment match was a standard strap match, but it's actually different, as there's two whips that are used, similar to a cat-of-nine-tails whip like the one your fetish father has hidden in your parents' closet. This match is pretty brutal, maybe not as grotesque as my childhood reflections, but a lot of painful fun. The Freebirds take a lot of the shots, prancing around selling the stinging pain, but still finding time to whip their hair of course. There isn't as much infamous Freebirds stalling as anticipated, with the pace being pretty straight ahead. Memorable if for no other reason than being different.
I loved the Doom versus Steiners match, Jim Ross states beforehand it'll likely be the most physical bout you'd likely see anywhere, and he was right about that. While the Steiners selling and psychology isn't up to par with many of the era's teams, they counterbalance that by being powerful animals, quick to drop a guy right on his skull without a pause. There's a couple "holy shit" moments here that I had to rewind a bunch. My three favorites are a radical Frankensteiner, Rick doing a Steinerline to Butch Reed, but for whatever reason Reed doesn't go down and Steiner just wipes out in a violent car-crash like moment, and lastly, Rick doing a tombstone/piledriver hybrid that drops Simmons right on his skull in one of the most frightening bumps I've seen possibly ever. Wow! The heels get the big win and belts here, too.
The main event is classic Four Horsemen-era Flair, just a raving madman in an earlier promo, and a complete workhorse in-ring. Luger is limited, of course, but still young enough and in good condition here to keep up. There's an anti-climatic finish, which steals this of being truly worthy seeking out, so don't fret if you don't have this in your personal collection. And yes, the Robocop appearance is on the show, where the dastardly Horsemen lock up Sting only to have Robocop slowly walk down the aisle to free our blonde hero from his prison. Watch the looks on Ole and Arn's faces as they bumble over the guardrail and through the crowd to escape Robocop--priceless.
Friday, June 6, 2008
No Prom Date #7
~ collection of matches that have no cohesiveness whatsoever
1) Stan Hansen v. Johnny Rivera (All Star Wrestling 02/18/76)- 2
Where the flip is Borger, Texas? Hansen has to be like the pancake eating king there or something; his midsection looks doughy like a breadbowl and his hair is bleach blonde, he looks like a fat Bret Michaels. Rivera had a kick ass match with Tats back in '79 at the Garden and I was wanting to see more of his work, but unfortunately he's just working for the weekend because Hansen sloppily beats him in under 2 minutes here. Disappointing.
2) Briscoe Brothers v. Davey Richards/ KENTA (ROH Time to Man Up 08/-4/06)- 7
MAN UP! KENTA certainly does; he brings all the stiff prickish behavior from Japan and unleashes it in full effect on the Briscoes. Richards seems to be in the match longer than anyone and is constantly taking up ring time when all I keep wanting is to see the man in brown and gold beat some faces. But, Richards does a nice job as his second in command, also trying to get stiff but more or less being the beating dummy of the Briscoes. They don't bust out all of their crazy double team moves (for once) here but enough to get a taste. They also get stiff with KENTA & Richards so they don't look like complete bitches, while at the same time avoiding some of KENTA'S kicks giving them back a small bitch status. My favorite two KENTA spots in this were 1) his breaking a sunset flip attempt with an Andre openhanded slap, and 2) His springboard over the rope, then kicks the guy square in the noggin like he's kicking dirt on an umpire. This was long, but not overtly long and both teams had great chemistry. Damn, i enjoyed that one.
3) Black Blood v. Big Josh (Lumber jack Match, Great American Bash 1991)- 4
After watching a whole Black Blood comp(how depressed is the guy that put that together; he probably has a character modeled after him on his World of Warcraft campaign), this dude was pretty stiff. He and Josh rough it up in this one which doesn't go to long and isn't what you'd exactly call a catch's catch-can wrestling fest. On the outside, tons of surly bruisers await both guys to pounce away on. When the LJ's finally skirmish (and they always do) I couldn't wait for it to happen again; you had Bobby Eaton, Dicky Murdoch, JYD, and ton of other tough bastards and they were wailing the piss out of each other. Black Blood hit a folding German suplex on Josh near the end who didn't look pleased. I also found it funny that aging Rock n' Roller Ricky Morton wanted to protect strange ax murderer Black Blood from people attacking him.
4) Legends Battle Royal featuring Baron Von Sicculcia, Thunderbolt Patterson, Pedro Morales, Al Costello, Gene Kiniski, Gino Brito, Bobo Brazil, Dominic DeNucci, The Crusher, Nick Bockwinkel, Pat O'Connor, Ray Stevens, Rene Goulet, Cheif Jay Strongbow, Lou Thez, Killer Kowalski, & Arnold Skaaland- 4
Wow, never knew this happened. Halfway through, i did notice the old WWF blue turnbuckle pads so I guess this was a house show exclusive sometime in the 80's. I'd had never seen so many liver spots and pasty flesh on display at one time in one place. Bockwinkel was the only one in decent shape here. Only Lou Thez would work a headlock in the middle of a battle royal. There were some interesting spots like O'Connor doing the wheelbarrow walk along the top rope until the guy let him go. Then, you had disgruntled legends trying to pull people from the ring to the outside. They worked it at a good pace and some crafty eliminations took place. Thez and O'Connor were the last two and it was obliquely bizarre to see two old grandparents chain wrestling, but the thing was, they still knew their stuff. They were both pulling off reversals to the other's hold and it was a lot of fun. Thez wins and almost flips himself over the top rope which surely would have been funny until we realized he was dead.
5) Jean Paul Levesque v. Ricky Steamboat (WCW Saturday Night, Sep '94)- 4
This was an average match for the Dragon, but he utilized a time tested formula. The first few mintues are just the feeling out process where he can show off his deep armdrags. Trips was fairly green here but knew enough to keep up with Steamboat, or at least let the veteran lead him by the hand. He didn't offer any unique offense, mostly just punches and a good back elbow that Steamboat sold well. Then, when it looks like Dragon is about to clinch it, he posts himself and plays up his hurt shoulder, really well. The whole agonizing shoulder selling works and Steamboat leaves his arm at his side like he lost all feeling in it. He finishes with a cross body somewhere around 10 minutes I would say.
6) Kurt Angle v. Lance Storm (Smackdown!, Aug '01)- 3
WARNING! The following review is taken from actual dialogue from the performers through hidden microphones underneath the ring during this match.
DING-DING!
Storm: "Did you have to do all of that twirling stuff for so long? You know this is only 5 + intros; now, we only have 2 1/2 minutes to wrestle. head down, boot, duck, and clothesline."
Angle: "What are you talking about? I always do that. The people love it."
Storm: "By the way, has anyone told you how strange you look with hair? Especially the Beaver haircut."
Angle: "Reverse, rollup, god damn it ref! get in position here!"
Storm: "okay, grab my head with your legs and i'll spring out of it.....no, don't go for the anklelock yet!"
Angle: "yeah, but the crowd pops for it."
Storm: "They won't if you keep doing it every chance you get!"
Angle: "Leap, down, hip toss, 3 then out of the ring, BAM! BAM! BAM! ....good and now, oh, fuck did you have to punch me in the eye?! Go down"
Storm: "Here, just hold the headlock.... sorry bro, you leaned into it. You know my punches come from way back and swoop in."
Angle: "Yeah, who punches like that anyways? Oh, cheese and crackers, i'm bleeding. Okay, i'm going for the ankelock!"
Storm: "No, not yet. I'm going to get up, reverse this into a DDT, then go out for the chair!" Angle: "Oh, god, you suck at swinging chairs!"
Storm: "Just move out of the way, okay? Trust me, i worked in ECW, I know how to do a chair spot. Whatever you do, don't try and put me in the anklelock afterwards, okay?"
Angle: "Damn, there went my spot!"
Storm: "Okay, we're about done here- the crowd is loving it. After I get out of the Angle Slam, i'm coming back with a superkick, so protect yourself okay?"
Angle: "Okay, i got it, oh shit! Right in the mouth, okay i'm going out! THUD! I'm going to need a lot of painkillers to make this headache go away."
Storm: "Couple table slams then back in for finish, okay?"
Angle: "You kicked me! You kicked me right in the mouth!"
Storm: "Yeah, guess so, now get your head right and throw me back in!"
Angle: "okay, there you are, duck now, put your head down and oh yeah, Angle Slam! THUMP! Okay, now do that twirling thing the people love and.......ANKLELOCK!"
DING-DING!
Storm: "Nice working with you, Kurt."
Angle: "Thanks, canuck. You're alright. Sorry to have surpassed you after only 3 years in the game....what are you going on, 10, 11?:
Storm: "hope you break your neck again, rookie...."
1) Stan Hansen v. Johnny Rivera (All Star Wrestling 02/18/76)- 2
Where the flip is Borger, Texas? Hansen has to be like the pancake eating king there or something; his midsection looks doughy like a breadbowl and his hair is bleach blonde, he looks like a fat Bret Michaels. Rivera had a kick ass match with Tats back in '79 at the Garden and I was wanting to see more of his work, but unfortunately he's just working for the weekend because Hansen sloppily beats him in under 2 minutes here. Disappointing.
2) Briscoe Brothers v. Davey Richards/ KENTA (ROH Time to Man Up 08/-4/06)- 7
MAN UP! KENTA certainly does; he brings all the stiff prickish behavior from Japan and unleashes it in full effect on the Briscoes. Richards seems to be in the match longer than anyone and is constantly taking up ring time when all I keep wanting is to see the man in brown and gold beat some faces. But, Richards does a nice job as his second in command, also trying to get stiff but more or less being the beating dummy of the Briscoes. They don't bust out all of their crazy double team moves (for once) here but enough to get a taste. They also get stiff with KENTA & Richards so they don't look like complete bitches, while at the same time avoiding some of KENTA'S kicks giving them back a small bitch status. My favorite two KENTA spots in this were 1) his breaking a sunset flip attempt with an Andre openhanded slap, and 2) His springboard over the rope, then kicks the guy square in the noggin like he's kicking dirt on an umpire. This was long, but not overtly long and both teams had great chemistry. Damn, i enjoyed that one.
3) Black Blood v. Big Josh (Lumber jack Match, Great American Bash 1991)- 4
After watching a whole Black Blood comp(how depressed is the guy that put that together; he probably has a character modeled after him on his World of Warcraft campaign), this dude was pretty stiff. He and Josh rough it up in this one which doesn't go to long and isn't what you'd exactly call a catch's catch-can wrestling fest. On the outside, tons of surly bruisers await both guys to pounce away on. When the LJ's finally skirmish (and they always do) I couldn't wait for it to happen again; you had Bobby Eaton, Dicky Murdoch, JYD, and ton of other tough bastards and they were wailing the piss out of each other. Black Blood hit a folding German suplex on Josh near the end who didn't look pleased. I also found it funny that aging Rock n' Roller Ricky Morton wanted to protect strange ax murderer Black Blood from people attacking him.
4) Legends Battle Royal featuring Baron Von Sicculcia, Thunderbolt Patterson, Pedro Morales, Al Costello, Gene Kiniski, Gino Brito, Bobo Brazil, Dominic DeNucci, The Crusher, Nick Bockwinkel, Pat O'Connor, Ray Stevens, Rene Goulet, Cheif Jay Strongbow, Lou Thez, Killer Kowalski, & Arnold Skaaland- 4
Wow, never knew this happened. Halfway through, i did notice the old WWF blue turnbuckle pads so I guess this was a house show exclusive sometime in the 80's. I'd had never seen so many liver spots and pasty flesh on display at one time in one place. Bockwinkel was the only one in decent shape here. Only Lou Thez would work a headlock in the middle of a battle royal. There were some interesting spots like O'Connor doing the wheelbarrow walk along the top rope until the guy let him go. Then, you had disgruntled legends trying to pull people from the ring to the outside. They worked it at a good pace and some crafty eliminations took place. Thez and O'Connor were the last two and it was obliquely bizarre to see two old grandparents chain wrestling, but the thing was, they still knew their stuff. They were both pulling off reversals to the other's hold and it was a lot of fun. Thez wins and almost flips himself over the top rope which surely would have been funny until we realized he was dead.
5) Jean Paul Levesque v. Ricky Steamboat (WCW Saturday Night, Sep '94)- 4
This was an average match for the Dragon, but he utilized a time tested formula. The first few mintues are just the feeling out process where he can show off his deep armdrags. Trips was fairly green here but knew enough to keep up with Steamboat, or at least let the veteran lead him by the hand. He didn't offer any unique offense, mostly just punches and a good back elbow that Steamboat sold well. Then, when it looks like Dragon is about to clinch it, he posts himself and plays up his hurt shoulder, really well. The whole agonizing shoulder selling works and Steamboat leaves his arm at his side like he lost all feeling in it. He finishes with a cross body somewhere around 10 minutes I would say.
6) Kurt Angle v. Lance Storm (Smackdown!, Aug '01)- 3
WARNING! The following review is taken from actual dialogue from the performers through hidden microphones underneath the ring during this match.
DING-DING!
Storm: "Did you have to do all of that twirling stuff for so long? You know this is only 5 + intros; now, we only have 2 1/2 minutes to wrestle. head down, boot, duck, and clothesline."
Angle: "What are you talking about? I always do that. The people love it."
Storm: "By the way, has anyone told you how strange you look with hair? Especially the Beaver haircut."
Angle: "Reverse, rollup, god damn it ref! get in position here!"
Storm: "okay, grab my head with your legs and i'll spring out of it.....no, don't go for the anklelock yet!"
Angle: "yeah, but the crowd pops for it."
Storm: "They won't if you keep doing it every chance you get!"
Angle: "Leap, down, hip toss, 3 then out of the ring, BAM! BAM! BAM! ....good and now, oh, fuck did you have to punch me in the eye?! Go down"
Storm: "Here, just hold the headlock.... sorry bro, you leaned into it. You know my punches come from way back and swoop in."
Angle: "Yeah, who punches like that anyways? Oh, cheese and crackers, i'm bleeding. Okay, i'm going for the ankelock!"
Storm: "No, not yet. I'm going to get up, reverse this into a DDT, then go out for the chair!" Angle: "Oh, god, you suck at swinging chairs!"
Storm: "Just move out of the way, okay? Trust me, i worked in ECW, I know how to do a chair spot. Whatever you do, don't try and put me in the anklelock afterwards, okay?"
Angle: "Damn, there went my spot!"
Storm: "Okay, we're about done here- the crowd is loving it. After I get out of the Angle Slam, i'm coming back with a superkick, so protect yourself okay?"
Angle: "Okay, i got it, oh shit! Right in the mouth, okay i'm going out! THUD! I'm going to need a lot of painkillers to make this headache go away."
Storm: "Couple table slams then back in for finish, okay?"
Angle: "You kicked me! You kicked me right in the mouth!"
Storm: "Yeah, guess so, now get your head right and throw me back in!"
Angle: "okay, there you are, duck now, put your head down and oh yeah, Angle Slam! THUMP! Okay, now do that twirling thing the people love and.......ANKLELOCK!"
DING-DING!
Storm: "Nice working with you, Kurt."
Angle: "Thanks, canuck. You're alright. Sorry to have surpassed you after only 3 years in the game....what are you going on, 10, 11?:
Storm: "hope you break your neck again, rookie...."
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
World Class Championship Wrestling- 01/15/83
1) Buddy Roberts v. Brian Adias- 3
Bill Mercer sporting a groovy discolored beard intros the show for us and we get to the ring with the least famous Freebird, Buddy Jack. He does a lot of stalling for the crowd and plays a really good weak heel to the ultra-charismatic Adias(feigned enthusiasm). He's as charismatic as my shoelaces. Roberts has a nasty kneedrop and they do a couple near falls that are unexpected. The match goes to a draw, which is a weird way to debut someone. The crowd is all over Roberts and I'm sure the only way to calm him down after the match will be with some lines of "Pixie dust."
2) Michael Hayes v. Al Madril- 3
The crowd is incensed with Hayes right from the bell; you'd think he was wearing a "Free Nick Hogan" shirt. Speaking of, man it would just make my year if the whole Hogan clan were in a car crash together and perished. Anyways, Madrill is insanely ugly and does a shtick where he pulls on his hair when he gets angry. The crowd is bonkers for it but i don't quite get it; he looks like a Spanish Albert Einstein. Hayes has a stiff left hand which he utilizes here. The match is pretty devoid of a lot of wrestling and Hayes has always been more of an entertainer than a wrestler.
3) Six Man Elimination Match (Battle Royal for $5,000) including Terry Gordy, King Kong Bundy, Bill Irwin, Bugsy McGraw, Andre the Giant & Kerry Von Erich- 3
This was quite an eclectic group; Von Erich came in to a monstrous pop and went right for Gordy. They were fighting like two rabid wolves until Von Erich went over the top rope to go after Gordy and like that he was out. McGraw was inconsequential, much like Ron Paul in the Republican bid this year. Andre was like a maniac though; he kept going after Gordy. There were long periods where he was just throttling him like Homer Simpson does Bart and other guys would come off the buckles to break it up, and even then he sometimes wouldn't release his grip. Very strange. This was a pretty tame battle royal that ended with Gordy dumping Bundy after Andre accidentally stepped out (didn't he see what happened to Kerry?)
Bill Mercer sporting a groovy discolored beard intros the show for us and we get to the ring with the least famous Freebird, Buddy Jack. He does a lot of stalling for the crowd and plays a really good weak heel to the ultra-charismatic Adias(feigned enthusiasm). He's as charismatic as my shoelaces. Roberts has a nasty kneedrop and they do a couple near falls that are unexpected. The match goes to a draw, which is a weird way to debut someone. The crowd is all over Roberts and I'm sure the only way to calm him down after the match will be with some lines of "Pixie dust."
2) Michael Hayes v. Al Madril- 3
The crowd is incensed with Hayes right from the bell; you'd think he was wearing a "Free Nick Hogan" shirt. Speaking of, man it would just make my year if the whole Hogan clan were in a car crash together and perished. Anyways, Madrill is insanely ugly and does a shtick where he pulls on his hair when he gets angry. The crowd is bonkers for it but i don't quite get it; he looks like a Spanish Albert Einstein. Hayes has a stiff left hand which he utilizes here. The match is pretty devoid of a lot of wrestling and Hayes has always been more of an entertainer than a wrestler.
3) Six Man Elimination Match (Battle Royal for $5,000) including Terry Gordy, King Kong Bundy, Bill Irwin, Bugsy McGraw, Andre the Giant & Kerry Von Erich- 3
This was quite an eclectic group; Von Erich came in to a monstrous pop and went right for Gordy. They were fighting like two rabid wolves until Von Erich went over the top rope to go after Gordy and like that he was out. McGraw was inconsequential, much like Ron Paul in the Republican bid this year. Andre was like a maniac though; he kept going after Gordy. There were long periods where he was just throttling him like Homer Simpson does Bart and other guys would come off the buckles to break it up, and even then he sometimes wouldn't release his grip. Very strange. This was a pretty tame battle royal that ended with Gordy dumping Bundy after Andre accidentally stepped out (didn't he see what happened to Kerry?)
Grand Masters of Wrestling – Vol. 2
1. Nikolai Volkoff vs. Classy Freddie Blassie – Musical Intermission – 0
This is listed as if it’s a match, or competition of some sort, but the two “vocal performances” have nothing to do with the either. First, Volkoff does about twenty seconds of a Russian song in the ring. Then, we cut to Blassie, wearing an old Monday Night Raw t-shirt and sequined jacket. This show is taking place inside a school gymnasium, and the guy they’ve got playing guitar for Blassie looks like the school’s dorky, sensitive Art teacher, sporting some brown corduroy and a pubic hair beard. They’ve fucking passed out leaflets with the lyrics to “Pencil Neck Geek” to the crowd members. The song goes on way too long, with Freddie’s delivery embarrassing at best, I actually began feeling quite sorry for the old bigot. At the end, Blassie pulls the guitarist out of his chair, and the awkward guy falls face-first into Blassie’s old, bony knee. Afterward, they present Freddie with some type of lifetime achievement award that was clearly purchased the day of the show at the local trophy and sporting goods store.
2. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Nikolai Volkoff – 3
Or, “Nikaloi” as the DVD menu states. Bigelow looks in good shape here, real light on his feet, and seems to be having fun performing. Volkoff sells a headbutt by falling out of the ring gingerly and holding his leg? That’s fucking stupid. Later, back out on the floor, both guys can’t be bothered by the ref while brawling and push him around leading to a double disqualification. A shit match, but at least Bam Bam showed up.
3. Iron Sheik vs. Mighty Maccabee - 0
Maccabee looks like the Blue Blazer but with a giant Jewish star on the front of his singlet. I guess he’s a local guy, but a classically trained fencer, not a wrestler, and boy does it ever show. A lot of bullshit stalling to start. Their “brawl” outside the ring was timid; in the same auditorium bullies have gotten stiffer during gym class. “Iron” Mike Sharpe is at ringside and gets involved a lot for Sheik, not sure why he’d need any help though. Maccabee mounts Shiek in the corner to deliver the old school set of 10 punches, but his are downright pussy, as he rains down some of the weakest shots ever, all aimed suspiciously at Sheik’s shoulder instead of his exposed head. God, this is so awful, fuck! Wait a minute, why is Maccabee lasting longer in the camel clutch than either Backlund or Hogan? Lame. Sharpe interferes, breaking up a headlock with a chairshot and getting Shiek disqualified, leading Maccabee to rally for 5 more minutes from Shiek. Maccabee says he’ll unmask if he gets it, but under his dumb blue mask is a stupider white one. The match resumes and Maccabee sells a clothesline like Daniel Stern slipping on marbles in Home Alone. Maccabee uses a fencing helmet to bludgeon Shiek, mercifully ending this wretched pile of rotting rubbish.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Performer Analysis: Mike Rotunda
1) Innovation- 2/10
Not much stands out in the way of innovation for Rotunda. He had a good career that took him to the major promotions in the US and Japan. He was part of the NwO and the Varsity Club, two prominent and very intriguing groups but one he had nothing to do with their success and the other was cut prematurely.
2) Conditioning- 8/10
Rotunda has excellent stamina, probably his best trait. I have seen him go the distance against tons of guys and the reason is his pacing. He understands the rigors of a pro match, especially one that has to go long and the way to not only pace the story of the match, but yourself as well so not to blow up, but along with that has to go your own physical constitution. He's not in peak condition but good enough for his capabilities. By his own admission, he never used any muscle enhancing drugs or other recreational drugs so I can only take him at his word since he was never ailed during his career with those issues. He was a good high school and college football player as well, and those training camps could have naturally enhanced his endurance levels.
3) Skill- 8/10
Rotunda, despite not being a fan when a child, was a quick study and knew the mat game. As I said before, he had great pace, but he could also hang with brawlers, technical guys and really quick guys. He was a versatile opponent and worked well with all sorts of different guys, whether rookies or veterans, big or small, smart or stupid. Rotunda was a good basics man and his offense was never flashy, so if things got out of hand, he knew exactly how to slow the match down and get it back on track.
4) Psychology- 9/10
Mike not being a flashy wrestler didn't matter because he knew how to show psych in a match. As a heel, he got great heat, in almost every gimmick because he had an air about him that said I'm better than you and he knew how to work that into a match. He was very adapt at selling a body part after it had been worked on or after he had punched a guy in the head, he would shake his hands out. It's the little things that he did very right and one of the reasons he's known as a great mat technician to this day.
5) Interviews- 6/10
Who could forget those IRS promos about cheating on your taxes? He was always emitting a smugness and made you feel like if you took your taxes to him, he would cheat you and pocket most of the money himself. He portrayed that very well on camera. It's about digging under your skin and when you question a person's social status or honesty, you can really get to them and that generates instant heat. Rotunda was also well schooled and had an educated demeanor to his promos which adds legitimacy.
6) Character- 6/10
He's been an All American, a Syracuse snob, a Boat Captain, an evil Taxman, an Nwo-ite, and a rich, nondescript asshole based off of Vince McMahon. That's quite a laundry list of characters. Rotunda isn't exactly oozing charisma but he does give off a "f*** you attitude" and a bleak dryness to his demeanor that's hard to artificially created. He's just that mundane and it gave him something different. A boat captain (a gimmick he created) was just plain stupid and doesn't translate into a wrestling character at all, but IRS was perfect; instant heat. Rotunda didn't even need charisma to play him. But, he does the underhanded heel very well.
7) Fans- 5/10
Rotunda was always a middle of the card kind of guy, except in WWE where he got semi-main push as part of the excellent tag team Money Inc, partnered with heat machine Ted Dibiase. IRS is the only way the normal fan would recognize him and as i said before, the gimmick always got a lot of heat. But, he's not a household name by any means.
8) Basics- 10/10
Rotunda is very well schooled and from his own words picked up the game very quickly. His routine is pretty basic in all his matches and everything he does is crisp and calculating. He has sharp right hands, great mat game, clean elbows, and is very good on the ropes. He would make a perfect trainer for the basics of wrestling. His bumping is pretty good; he does kind of sidebump, not like Flair, but close to it.
9) Feuds/Matches- 6/10
Rotunda had a number of feuds throughout his career and has probably faced most every top name from the early 80's through mid 90's. Teaming up with Barry Windham, Steve Williams, Rick Steiner, & Ted Dibiase(which is a pretty impressive list of partners) brought him into some awesome feuds with various tag teams including Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff, Road Warriors, Steiner Brothers, Natural Disasters, Nasty Boys and others. He's been predominantly a tag team wrestler through his career but has fought tons of the best names in the industry.
10) Gutcheck- 6/10
After watching Rotunda's shoot, i gained and lost some respect for him. He freely admitted he's not a wrestling fan and doesn't have that built in passion that fans who become actual competitors carry with them therefore not a lot of moments really mean a lot to him, as he kept saying, it's just a job. But, he did what was best for his family during his career, not needing a lot of the spot light, which was why he stayed in Japan during the whole boom period because he made good money and could see his family more. And when it was time to get out, he had no qualms about it, no regrets, just left the business as a performer and didn't look back.
Total Score: 66
Ranking: Midcarder
PO: Thumbs Down
Not much stands out in the way of innovation for Rotunda. He had a good career that took him to the major promotions in the US and Japan. He was part of the NwO and the Varsity Club, two prominent and very intriguing groups but one he had nothing to do with their success and the other was cut prematurely.
2) Conditioning- 8/10
Rotunda has excellent stamina, probably his best trait. I have seen him go the distance against tons of guys and the reason is his pacing. He understands the rigors of a pro match, especially one that has to go long and the way to not only pace the story of the match, but yourself as well so not to blow up, but along with that has to go your own physical constitution. He's not in peak condition but good enough for his capabilities. By his own admission, he never used any muscle enhancing drugs or other recreational drugs so I can only take him at his word since he was never ailed during his career with those issues. He was a good high school and college football player as well, and those training camps could have naturally enhanced his endurance levels.
3) Skill- 8/10
Rotunda, despite not being a fan when a child, was a quick study and knew the mat game. As I said before, he had great pace, but he could also hang with brawlers, technical guys and really quick guys. He was a versatile opponent and worked well with all sorts of different guys, whether rookies or veterans, big or small, smart or stupid. Rotunda was a good basics man and his offense was never flashy, so if things got out of hand, he knew exactly how to slow the match down and get it back on track.
4) Psychology- 9/10
Mike not being a flashy wrestler didn't matter because he knew how to show psych in a match. As a heel, he got great heat, in almost every gimmick because he had an air about him that said I'm better than you and he knew how to work that into a match. He was very adapt at selling a body part after it had been worked on or after he had punched a guy in the head, he would shake his hands out. It's the little things that he did very right and one of the reasons he's known as a great mat technician to this day.
5) Interviews- 6/10
Who could forget those IRS promos about cheating on your taxes? He was always emitting a smugness and made you feel like if you took your taxes to him, he would cheat you and pocket most of the money himself. He portrayed that very well on camera. It's about digging under your skin and when you question a person's social status or honesty, you can really get to them and that generates instant heat. Rotunda was also well schooled and had an educated demeanor to his promos which adds legitimacy.
6) Character- 6/10
He's been an All American, a Syracuse snob, a Boat Captain, an evil Taxman, an Nwo-ite, and a rich, nondescript asshole based off of Vince McMahon. That's quite a laundry list of characters. Rotunda isn't exactly oozing charisma but he does give off a "f*** you attitude" and a bleak dryness to his demeanor that's hard to artificially created. He's just that mundane and it gave him something different. A boat captain (a gimmick he created) was just plain stupid and doesn't translate into a wrestling character at all, but IRS was perfect; instant heat. Rotunda didn't even need charisma to play him. But, he does the underhanded heel very well.
7) Fans- 5/10
Rotunda was always a middle of the card kind of guy, except in WWE where he got semi-main push as part of the excellent tag team Money Inc, partnered with heat machine Ted Dibiase. IRS is the only way the normal fan would recognize him and as i said before, the gimmick always got a lot of heat. But, he's not a household name by any means.
8) Basics- 10/10
Rotunda is very well schooled and from his own words picked up the game very quickly. His routine is pretty basic in all his matches and everything he does is crisp and calculating. He has sharp right hands, great mat game, clean elbows, and is very good on the ropes. He would make a perfect trainer for the basics of wrestling. His bumping is pretty good; he does kind of sidebump, not like Flair, but close to it.
9) Feuds/Matches- 6/10
Rotunda had a number of feuds throughout his career and has probably faced most every top name from the early 80's through mid 90's. Teaming up with Barry Windham, Steve Williams, Rick Steiner, & Ted Dibiase(which is a pretty impressive list of partners) brought him into some awesome feuds with various tag teams including Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff, Road Warriors, Steiner Brothers, Natural Disasters, Nasty Boys and others. He's been predominantly a tag team wrestler through his career but has fought tons of the best names in the industry.
10) Gutcheck- 6/10
After watching Rotunda's shoot, i gained and lost some respect for him. He freely admitted he's not a wrestling fan and doesn't have that built in passion that fans who become actual competitors carry with them therefore not a lot of moments really mean a lot to him, as he kept saying, it's just a job. But, he did what was best for his family during his career, not needing a lot of the spot light, which was why he stayed in Japan during the whole boom period because he made good money and could see his family more. And when it was time to get out, he had no qualms about it, no regrets, just left the business as a performer and didn't look back.
Total Score: 66
Ranking: Midcarder
PO: Thumbs Down
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