1) Buddy Roberts v. Brian Adias- 3
Bill Mercer sporting a groovy discolored beard intros the show for us and we get to the ring with the least famous Freebird, Buddy Jack. He does a lot of stalling for the crowd and plays a really good weak heel to the ultra-charismatic Adias(feigned enthusiasm). He's as charismatic as my shoelaces. Roberts has a nasty kneedrop and they do a couple near falls that are unexpected. The match goes to a draw, which is a weird way to debut someone. The crowd is all over Roberts and I'm sure the only way to calm him down after the match will be with some lines of "Pixie dust."
2) Michael Hayes v. Al Madril- 3
The crowd is incensed with Hayes right from the bell; you'd think he was wearing a "Free Nick Hogan" shirt. Speaking of, man it would just make my year if the whole Hogan clan were in a car crash together and perished. Anyways, Madrill is insanely ugly and does a shtick where he pulls on his hair when he gets angry. The crowd is bonkers for it but i don't quite get it; he looks like a Spanish Albert Einstein. Hayes has a stiff left hand which he utilizes here. The match is pretty devoid of a lot of wrestling and Hayes has always been more of an entertainer than a wrestler.
3) Six Man Elimination Match (Battle Royal for $5,000) including Terry Gordy, King Kong Bundy, Bill Irwin, Bugsy McGraw, Andre the Giant & Kerry Von Erich- 3
This was quite an eclectic group; Von Erich came in to a monstrous pop and went right for Gordy. They were fighting like two rabid wolves until Von Erich went over the top rope to go after Gordy and like that he was out. McGraw was inconsequential, much like Ron Paul in the Republican bid this year. Andre was like a maniac though; he kept going after Gordy. There were long periods where he was just throttling him like Homer Simpson does Bart and other guys would come off the buckles to break it up, and even then he sometimes wouldn't release his grip. Very strange. This was a pretty tame battle royal that ended with Gordy dumping Bundy after Andre accidentally stepped out (didn't he see what happened to Kerry?)