Saturday, May 19, 2012

Extreme Reunion 4/28/12

Well, here we go again. It’s YET ANOTHER reunion show for ECW. I figured this concept would be dead and buried like Mike Awesome at this point but I guess not. I don’t think the world needs anymore of these shows as they are becoming progessively sadder and sadder to watch. The show opened with Bob Artese throwing hats into the crowd. Yes, hats. Then there’s some bullshit with Robbie Moreno and Joel Gertner, who looks facially like an old Jewish tailor. Can we please get to the wrestling already?

1. The Blue Meanie & Stevie Richards vs. Little Guido & Tony Mamaluke - 2

Once the wrestling finally started and it was merely passable. Every reunion show seems like it has to have some sort of Blue Meanie or B.W.O. tag team match against the FBI. This was better than any previous BWO/FBI match for one reason, it didn’t have one of those stupid dance offs. I guarantee if Tracy Smothers was involved in the match, then it would have. The BWO is accompanied by some clown named Thomas “Inch Worm” Rodman. Does anybody remember him? Anybody? Nope, didn’t think so. Guido and Mamaluke I still enjoy watching as a team, even though it seemed apparent that everyone here was just going through the motions. Finish was a mess with Luke Hawx getting involved and costing the BWO the win. Apparently there is some kind of story going on with Hawx and Shane Douglas. I guess I missed that memo.

2. C.W. Anderson vs. Al Snow - 3

This was billed as a “purist’s dream match”. I certainly wasn’t ever dreaming about it. Every time I see C.W. Anderson, he seems less and less interesting and very bland. Snow stalled forever doing stuff with the Head. I thought the basics here were decent and the pace was a bit slow but seemed to work well. Anderson held an armbar forever and the crowd completely turned. At one point on the floor, the camera is right in Snow’s face and it looked like he was about to cry. Anderson did some good work on Snow’s arm, including one spot where he wrapped it around the ringpost and whacked it with a chair. The ref bump wasn’t necessary at all. Dug the spinebuster to finish off Snow at the end. Afterwards, more shenanigans with Snow and his Head.

The lights went out and the ring announcer claimed “technical difficulties” When they came back on and there was an unnamed girl, presumably from the local strip club, dancing in the ring to which the crowd began to chant “show your tits”. She did not oblige but a drunk asian chick in the crowd did.

3. Balls Mahoney vs. Axl Rotten – 1

Balls has really slimmed down from the weight he was at in the original ECW, or even WWE for that matter. Axl, on the other hand, has added all the weight that Balls lost. His face was kind of droopy too, looks almost like he has Bell’s Palsy or something. Axl was gassed after the first punch exchange. Not a surprise there. Dude looks about as athletic as a tape dispenser. Crowd brawl did nothing for me. We got some weapons, including a Nerf jousting stick with toothpicks attached to it, lazy punching, and chair shots. I have literally left out nothing. Axl surprisingly got the win and then more than likely went and snorted some coke backstage off some regions of the pre-match stripper that shall not be discussed here.

4. Angel vs. New Jack & Mustafa – Handicap Match – 0

This was supposed to be a tag team match, but since Angel’s partner bounced faster than a check from Paul Heyman, instead we get a handicap match with Angel fighting both members of the Gangstas. As soon Angel was shown walking through the curtain, I knew this was going to be the New Jack segment. I’m honestly not sure if any bit of this whatsoever served a purpose. I’m not even honestly sure it was an official match but I’m grading it as one. Towards the end of this charade, some interference rom Ruckus and BLK Jeez, who are promptly booed out of the building. There was no finish, except for Jeez and Ruckus just up and leaving and everyone else walking around like lost souls in purgatory, which is exactly what this whole mess is turning out to be.

5. Jerry Lynn vs. Devon Storm – 5

Perhaps watching this match at 11:30 at night after only getting five hours of sleep the previous night wasn’t exactly the best idea so I watched it again a few days later. While it didn’t exactly age like a fine red wine, this was by far the best thing on the show. Storm looked like he’d just risen from the dead and was completely expressionless the whole match. Lynn was his usual good self here and didn’t look like he’d lost a step at all. First part was pretty slow but things heated up after an extended brawl on the outside. The first guardrail spot was a good idea in theory but didn’t look like it came across well in practice as Storm had a hell of a time even setting it up. Second guardrail spot was pretty wild with Storm jumping over the top and crashing down on Jerry who was on the rail. I’m not sure why but this felt like ECW more than anything else on the show. Perhaps it’s probably because it wasn’t people re-doing the same schtick from 20 years ago and actually felt somewhat authentic. Homicide was at ringside and apparently there’s something going on with him and Jerry Lynn. Again, I seem to have missed that memo. Loved the wild frankensteiner from the top buckle through a table on the floor. This probably would have gotten a “6” had the pace been a little faster. Aside from that, not many nitpicks and this was a very enjoyable match.

6. Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio – 2

No excuses here. This was downright awful, although I can only imagine how much more awful it would have been had Sabu wrestled instead of Scorpio. Pre-match, you know the drill, Douglas has to get mic work in to kill time. At one point during the promo, I checked the time remaining on the video and it said 30 minutes. Yeah, like Shane Douglas is going to wrestle a 30-minute match. Douglas looked like complete shit, working in a t-shirt. Scorpio wasn’t taking no shit here as he routinely threw some nasty, stiff elbows during the extended crowd brawl. Both guys almost got killed when Scorpio did a big dive into the crowd. The finish was beyond absurd with Kevin Sullivan (seriously) and Tod Gordon, who always shows up on these shows, running interference along with a shitty ref bump thrown in for good measure. I really though the point with Sullivan low blowing Douglas would be the finish but nope, they kept going for another five minutes with Douglas kicking out of all of Scorpio’s big moves. This match really deserves a “1” but Scorpio looked good and gave a good effort so I’ll give an extra point for that.