CZW Swinging for the Fences - 4/10/10

1) Unbreakable Andy vs. A.R. Fox vs. Aaron Arbo – 5
Didn’t take long for them to start doing highspots with no rhyme or reason. Andy bumps and moves like Jack Evans but looks like he should be in a high school science class. Sloppy reverse rana from Arbo. Fox hit one of the most insane aerial moves I’ve ever seen in my life. Pretty sure he got more air on that than Jordan did in the famous dunk contests with Dominique Wilkens. Not much story telling or selling, just them going from one big spot to the other every few seconds.

2) Notorious Inc. (Devon Moore & Drew Blood) vs. Irish Drive-By (Ryan McBride & Rich Swann) – 4
Match starts off hot with Swann and Moore brawling outside after Swann hit a big dive from the top buckle to the floor and a sick springboard kick off the railing. Referee doing nothing to control the match, just letting Moore and Blood hang out in the ring at the same time. Moore had a botch that got turned into a powerbomb. McBride’s handspring moonsault was pretty cool. Was kind of like the previous match, just going from one spot to the other without much selling. After match, Moore and Blood do the split-up angle. Guess I know what all this was for then.

3) tHURTeen vs. Scotty Vortekz – 4
Thurteen’s punches suck. He throws them with all the confidence of an MMA student afraid to hit the heavy bag without gloves. Standing sliced bread into a backbreaker from Thurteen was crazy! Again, much like the previous bouts, selling was non-existent except when one of them would miss a big move and crash into the mat. Scotty seemed to be saving himself for the main event, trying not to exerte any excess energy. Thurteen’s flippy moves were cool and unlike the prior matches, this actually had a built in story.

4) Nick Gage vs. Egotistico Fantastico – 4
It’s amazing how things have changed in CZW in over a year. Ego is now Robert Anthony and Nick Gage is in jail after robbing a bank last December. Some wild brawling around the ring culminated in Ego eating a cookie sheet in the face. Ego took a hard clothesline and a sick spot where Gage kicked a chair in his face. I liked the use of the chair from both men. Ego taking a backbreaker on two chairs and Ego moonsaulting with a chair on his opponent. Finish came out of nowhere with Ego applying the Taco Pizza move and dropping Gage face first onto a chair. Really fun little brawl. Gage looked like he was going to cry afterward. Maybe you should’ve robbed that bank sooner jackass.

5) Team Macktion (TJ & Kirby Mack) vs. Zero Gravity (C.J. Esparza & Bret Guykia) – 5
Where the hell has Team Macktion been the last few years? Last I remember seeing them, they were working the UWF and TNA co-shows in North Carolina back in ‘07. Bret screwed up big time on a rope walk, slipping twice in a matter of seconds. Nice double-underhook chest breaker from TJ Mack. Nice counter on slingshot powerbomb by Bret from Zero Gravity. Dive spot on the outside typical of these type matches. Zero Gravity’s team name sounds like the name of a stunt team you’d see on “America’s Got Talent”. Esparza slipped on a spot where he was supposed to springboard off the bottom rope and kick one of the Macks. The Mack boys looked good and hit their highspots on the mark.

6) Sabian vs. Adam Cole – 5
Cole looked pretty sloppy in a few spots. I noticed him at one point waiting for a spot to dump Sabian out of the ring and another one where he messed up a spot where Sabian was supposed to whip him into the buckle. His offense was pretty good, getting in a few good dropkicks and some nice chops. Sabian kicked the shit out Cole’s head and just jammed it into a buckle. Crowd completely turned on this halfway through chanting “this is awful”, “end this shit” and booing every kick out. Nice big crossbody from Cole and a good nearfall of a move called the Cole-Lateral off the top rope. I can honestly say that I’ve never heard a crowd turn on anything so fast. Nothing that these two were going to do in the last half of the bout was going to bring the crowd back. Competitive bout but I would’ve liked to have seen a clear winner instead of a draw.

7) The Best Around (T.J. Cannon & Bruce Maxwell) vs. Drake Younger & Eddie Kingston – 4
Color commentator was completely sucking the dick of Best Around. Wow, Kingston did a suicide dive! Drake topped that by doing a somersault from the top buckle to the floor! Drake took a stiff kick to the face from Maxwell. Big mess of legality issues during the face comeback with the participants just running in and out as they please. Eddie seemed to be enjoying kicking and slapping people in face. The backfist/Drake’s landing double team move was nice. Match didn’t go very long, probably around 10 minutes. Nearfalls didn’t have much heat either, crowd popped for the finish with Drake and Eddie winning the belts though.

8) Sami Callihan vs. Jon Moxley – 7
Interesting to note here that both these guys got their start in HWA here in Cincinnati. Brawling section on the outside was ultra stiff. The chops would make Kobashi smile and the punches were hard as concrete. Sami’s slingshot lariat connected flush. Sami’s facials are always fantastic and he’s always in character. He’s definitely come a long way since the 300-pound blob he was in HWA. The headbutt exchange made me want to reach for the nearest bottle of Tylenol it was so stiff. Mox bit Sami so hard in the forehead that he started bleeding. How great were these fucking reversals!! Moxley’s forearms and lariats so damn hard it wasn’t funny. Damn! Mox even broke out a black hole slam! They do the old spot from the Bret/Austin Survivor Series match. Seeing two local boys get stiff with each other in a major indy fed like CZW is a great thing to witness. Probably one of the hardest hitting 2010 indy matches I’ve seen yet.

9) Scotty Vortekz, Drake Younger, & Eddie Kingston vs. Masada, Brain Damage, & J.C. Bailey – Home Run Derby Death Match – 6
Sad to think that Geo and I would be attending a memorial show for J.C. five months after this. Masada turns on Scotty right at the opening bell and attack the injured Danny Havoc with Drake and Eddie making the save and turning it into a six-man tag. I love these style death matches just because it’s just everyone wailing on each other as hard as they can with the most random stuff you can think of such as plastic baseball bats covered in tacks, water coolers shoved on broomsticks, and 2x4’s wrapped in barbed wire among other things. Drake took a shot so hard he got tacks jammed in the top of his dome. Bailey got busted open early on. Eddie ripped his own hand open grabbing a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat. Loved the exchange on the outside where Eddie and Brain Damage traded fists and foul language. Christ! Masada powerbombed Scotty on a chair with the legs sticking up! Poor fucker could’ve been impaled on that shit! Crazy ass tower of doom spot! Eddie and Masada traded some stiff forearms. Danny Havoc said it best on commentary …. “Holy fuck!”.