1) Shopping Cart Death Match: Insane Lane vs. Freakshow (12/3/05) – 3
Freakshow is wrestling in some baggy ass jeans and a long sleeve T and throws some terrible punches. Lane grabs an ax and delivers some blade first shots with them that wouldn’t even harm my grandmother with Alzheimers. Lane grabs a pizza cutter and slices Freakshow with it. The dumbass hillbilly announcer says “I work at Papa Johns and that doesn’t feel good when you slice your finger with it.” Stupid bastard. The three dozen people who bothered to attend scatter when the action spills to the floor. A splash off the top through a door that doesn’t break finishes Freakshow. Not the world’s best deathmatch but I’ve seen a lot worse.
2) Barbed Wire Ropes & 200 Light Tubes Match: Tank vs. Necro Butcher (12/3/05) – 4
I’m almost positive this is on one of Brian’s early BMD discs. These two were throwing some good hard punches. Tank is a giant dude that looks like he spends more time on the couch watching football and drinking beer than working out. In this match the ropes were wrapped in barbed wire and light tubes and thumbtack were scattered about. I enjoyed the part where they were sitting across from each other in chairs and trading haymakers. Tank did a sick double foot stomp through light tubes at the end of the bout. I really forgot how good of a deathmatch wrestler Necro was. Too bad that he’s been homogenized in ROH. Fun bout here.
3) 20 Minute Iron Man Death Match: J.C. Bailey vs. Necro Butcher (2/18/06) – 4
Wow, there are only like 30 people (and that’s being generous) in the building. This is your prototypical light tube deathmatch with just them scattered everywhere and taped together. Necro tried a hurracanrana from the top and failed with JC just doing a flip off the top to make it seem like the move worked. This resulted in JC acquiring a giant gash in the back of his head. JC was stabbing Necro with remains of tubes in his forehead and in the bottom of his foot. Necro got hit three times with a beer bottle before it actually broke. This was good up until they got tired.
4) Chuck Taylor vs. Mike Quackenbush (8/26/06) – 6
I can say this with absolute certainty, Mike Quackenbush is one of my favorite indy wrestlers to watch. His motions are very fluid and his transitions are very smooth. Quack just schooled Taylor in the first half by putting him in move after move after move. Taylor hits a couple nice dropkicks and the lead announcer splooges in his jeans. Selling by both guys was really good. I liked the spot at the end where Quack did some comedy when Taylor went for a top rope moonsault. Roll-up by Taylor to end it was nice for an upset victory. I thought Taylor really worked hard here, especially for someone who’s matches I haven’t really liked all that much.
5) Four Way Elimination Match: Sabian vs. Brevin Holt vs. Ricochet vs. Cabana Man Dan (8/26/06) – 5
The announcers spent the first five minutes of the match talking about WrestleMania celebrities and politics, which is highly annoying when you don’t know who the competitors are in the match as the graphic on the DVD only says “Four Way Elimination Match”. Sabian got some sick air on a flip and Ricochet hit a nice outside dive as well. Holt looks a bit like Kenny Dykstra, complete with Spirit Squad sweat band. Cabana Man Dan does some type of islander gimmick apparently since he chops people with flip-flops and has a Hawaiian design on his trunks. Sabian hit a sick DDT on Ricochet when it was down to just them. The air that Sabian gets on some of his aerial moves is just insane. Haven’t seen much of Ricochet but it seemed like he had some decent stuff. I wasn’t impressed by Holt or Cabana Man Dan.
6) Larry Sweeney vs. Brad Armstrong (8/26/06) – 5
Sweeney must’ve taken a page from the Larry Zbyszko book of stalling because that’s all he did during the first five minutes or so. Long time fans may recognize Armstrong from WCW Worldwide and WCW Saturday Night but more recent fans may recognize him from his short lived stint as an ECW commentator in late 2006. Armstrong looked in really good shape for his age but really didn’t do much in the physical selling department. Sweeney is just so good as a cocky heel and probably could’ve been with TNA right now had he not had a mental breakdown a few years ago in ROH. Sweeney got a sudden victory by tripping up Armstrong and putting his feet on the ropes. Pretty good match, especially from Armstrong who can still go.
7) Homewrecker Death Match: Dysfunction vs. Freakshow (11/25/06) – 5
What a strange venue this match is in. Looks like an old barn with Buff Bagwell and Kevin Nash n.W.o. posters on the wall, banners sporting the phone numbers for the local used car lot and a place called Jailbusters Bail Bonds, and seating provided by metal folding chairs, wooden bleachers, and church pues. Dysfunction took a stiff shot with a VCR, a sidewalk slam through a board covered in light tubes, and a piledriver through another board covered in light tubes. Freakshow didn’t bump much here, mainly because he’s about 200 pounds heavier than Dysfunction. Actually, the biggest bump he took was through a door wrapped in barbed wire. The match didn’t go too long, but was really fun and Dysfunction took a hell of a beating.
8) Barefoot Thumbtack Death Match: Ian Rotten vs. Mickie Knuckles (11/25/06) - 6
Watching this match made me feel like I was watching a domestic dispute at a trailer park on an episode of Cops. These two just literally beat each other bloody. Mickie took a thumtack covered wiffle ball bat to the head so hard that it made her wobble and fall, another to the vaginal area, and got suplexed barefoot into a bed of thumbtacks. Ian on the other hand received a staple gun to the nutsack, a dollar bill stapled to his tongue, that was then yanked out a few minutes later, and a suplex into the same bed of thumbtacks. The best part of the match was when they where exchanging forearms and headbutts so hard that you could actually hear the smack of the bloodied flesh. By the time the match was over, Mickie had about a dozen thumbtacks stuck in her skull, Ian was walking very gingerly with tacks in his feet and both combatants were a bloody mess. The most enjoyable deathmatch I’ve seen on this disc so far.
9) Chrisjen Hayme vs. Cabana Man Dan (11/25/06) – 4
I saw Hayme a few months ago at a local HWA show and he looked decent. Dan tried a Sliced Bread #2 early on in the match which saw him mess up just a bit. Hayme did a pretty ballsy asai moonsault into the crowd which ended with him cracking his knees on some chairs at ringside. Dan looked decent here with a couple missteps in what was otherwise a good performance. I enjoyed watching Hayme’s hard kicks. The match itself didn’t go very long, maybe six or seven minutes but had a good fast pace to it.
10) Taipei Death Match: Freakshow vs. Necro Butcher (11/25/06) – 4
This match mainly consisted of Freakshow and Necro punching each other really, really hard with glass covered fists. Both guys bled a good amount, Necro especially, having blood literally pouring from his head at one point. Yes, there was a chair used and there was some barbed wire strung up on one side of the ropes that didn’t even come into play. I would grade Necro’s punches above Freakshow’s mainly because Necro’s punches look like they would knock you out. Probably one of the better Freakshow matches I’ve seen.
11) Home Run Debry Death Match: Bull Pain vs. Insane Lane (11/25/06) – 5
Another good death match here. They spent the entire match whacking each other with various sized items covered in either thumbtacks, light tubes, or carpet strips (those little boards with nails in them that are used to put down carpet with). Lane took a sick shot right at the beginning that left him with about two dozen tacks stuck in his dome and possibly some brain damage. There was a funny part where Bull yelled “Move!” at some decreped, toothless old lady with a hunting jacket on and got up in her face when she didn’t. This prompted the old lady to get up and she had to be held back by people. Right near the end, Lane messed up a spot where he was supposed to go face first into some light tube covered apparatus but either chickened out or slipped because he missed the thing entirely. Lane won with a schoolboy roll-up. Wait? What? Why the hell would you do a roll-up in a deathmatch?