Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Castagnoli vs. Albright - Flag Match

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brent Albright - Flag Match - ROH on HDNet 7/11/09 - 4

I'd say that Claudio and Brent have had one of the worst feuds of the year. I think you could make a fairly easy argument that Brent is the lousiest performer on the current ROH active roster. The matches have largely felt the same, haven't really helped elevate either guy, and have generally stunk like Gabe Sapolsky's underwear when his mom forgot to do the wash. But, all that being (cruelly) said, this match was sort of actively fun. Thanks in part goes to aging commentator Mike Hogwood, who sells Claudio's discretion of the United States' flag hilariously throughout. Both guys take big bumps outside of the ring, my favorite, a backdrop that sees Castagnoli sit upright and sell by raising an eyebrow inquisitively as if hearing a particularly interesting bit of oratory during the famous Lincoln-Douglas debates. The ending is campy, too; as to win you have to enter the ring with your respective flag, after Brent pulls it off Claudio sells disbelief as Albright runs around wearing the flag as a makeshift cape, showcasing the exact opposite of equanimity as he looks like a child hopped up on sugar doing a celebratory lap around the playground.


Brian said...

Ryan, first off, what the fuck, did it take you a week to muster up the balls to write something? Secondly, I have no idea who you are, never seen DWA, etc. so how in the hell was I supposed to know who you or any of your crew was? Only one person that writes for this blog attended your poorly executed show at the fair. It's not like all of us secretly have it out for that company or any local groups in general--you're so fucking amateur and insignificant that you don't even matter amongst your peers. It's ridiculously funny that one negative review made your entire federation fold and internally implode.

Now, obviously you knew who we were, so what the fuck, that's a double standard you ignorant slob, as you didn't speak up or say anything to us? So, how to get off calling us out, when I don't even know what you self-indulgent marks look like, but the whole time you were eyeing us down and didn't have the courage to say a damn thing?

You've got something to say? One small, negative review has you this tore up, then come on, you giant pussies, please unburdened your troubled and conflicted souls and whine to us about your woes face-to-face. Next time you see us at Denny's put down the fucking double cheeseburger and say something if you really can't handle being criticized for being shitty performers.

Grow the fuck up. And Ryan, your insult on our YouTube account, seriously? You're going to try and make a crack about getting laid? Unless you were too focused on starring at me like a celebrity stalked you'd have realized I was sitting next to my wife. What types of girls are backstage at DWA shows? Wait--that's right, there are none.

You failed as wrestlers, as men, etc. Stop trying to act tough online and go masturbate to some more independent wrestling sites.

Brian said...

Jessie responded while in the office and wanted me to pass along his response:

"who's this joker? is this no chairs? that fatass that was sitting there sucking down a coke and eating about 10 pancakes while we screamed no chairs at him? Didn't see him say shit, or is this another ghastly overweight freak that waddled into Denny's that night that we didn't notice? If this is the same 489 pound fat fuck that screamed "No Chairs! No Chairs" at a backyard show a few years back as I cracked him in the elbow with one(because he tried to turn away from it), we weren't afraid of you then (after we threw your shit in a mirky pool) and we aren't afraid of you now. Get a fucking life and quit thinking a 400 pound tub of shit w/ no athletic ability whatsoever makes a wrestler and get on a diet and get out of Denny's; whatever you ate that night most assuredly is going to lead to your imminent heart attack quicker than your shitty ring work, if you can call it that."