Wednesday, May 14, 2008

XVW @ Middletown, OH - 5/10/08

XVW is a local, low-grade, indy promotion that runs out of a dilapidated opera house in the middle of a dying city still trying to recover from a year long lockout of the local steel industry. Let me see what gold, if any, can be dug out of this pile of festering poo or will I end up covered in manure.

Before I look at the matches and give you the scores, let me set the scene. First off, they have the ring set up in the middle of the orchestra pit in front of maybe 70 people (and that's being somewhat generous). Secondly, they've made up videos for their wrestlers which helps the first time viewer of their show (a.k.a. me!) recognize the characters. Two immediate downsides to that though: #1: They've obviously hooked their computer to a projector and they are using Windows Media Player to play the videos and #2: You figure out who's coming out before they click on the video because they hover over the icon for fifteen f***ing seconds! Third, you have commentary over the in-house mic, which, for those of you who read the reviews that Brian, Jessie, and I did for that deplorable Ring of Glory show a few years back, you know how annoying that is. However, the commentary here is two-fold but I will touch on that in a moment. Lastly, the booker has made himself the star of the show. You'll know him, he's the fat fuck who doesn't wrestle but yet has the most ridiculous gimmick and is the most over. In this case, he's known in these parts as Double P (don't ask me what it stands for because I can't f***ing remember). He's the one that puts himself and his angles over on the in-house commentary at the expense of the workers in the ring. Remember what I said about the commentary being two-fold? Good! Because during the second half, this fat fuck is virtually non-existent and the commentary helps you follow along with the bout. Whew, now that that's done with, please take a moment to catch a breath before you read my comments on the matches.

Moment over. Let's look at the matches.

1) The Belfast Brawlers vs. Assault & Battery - 2
2) Brandon Biggz vs. Pauli Jr. vs. Okiri Tanaka - 2
3) C-Jack Jr., Allen Jefferson Moore, & Waikiki Kid vs. Black Dragon, Chris "The Kid" McGraw, & Dreez - 3
4) The Bounty Hunters vs. Leo & Lenny Spicolli vs. Acid Inc. vs. The True Thugz - 1
5) Kliff Hanger vs. Clutch McAllister - 3
6) The Highspot Kings vs. Psycho & Korrupt Jones - 4
7) Tommy "T-Dogg" Foreman vs. Loco - Dog Collar Match - 3
8) Ricochet vs. Kannibas - 3
9) Matt Shock vs. "Nightmare" Jimmie Lee - Last Man Standing Match - 4

The Brawlers looked like your standard indy team with an Irish gimmick. They came to the ring drinking cognac instead of pints of Guinness. Assault & Battery was basically another standard indy team with a hardcore gimmick. This was full of sloppy spots and bad brawling. One of the members of Assault and Battery (not sure if it was Assault or Battery) got busted open for no good reason in this slopfest of an opener. The three way was pretty good, for low-level indy standards. Biggz couldn't be of legal age to wrestle. He looks like he's about 14 years old! Tanaka hit a nice coast-to-coast dropkick for the highspot of the match. Pauli Jr was virtually non-existent for the duration of the bout but came from behind to win with a sneaky roll-up. The six man tag was a pilfering pile of dog shit. Black Dragon, McGraw, and Waikiki Kid seemed halfway decent while the rest just decided the day before that wrestling a shitty six-man was a quick way to make some extra bucks on the weekend. I remember fondly a vertical suplex that was botched beyond all fuck by Dragon but he recovered mid-move into a float over cover, to which he earned some decency points. A final word about the six-man, Dreez was touted as a monster but his strikes were noticeably lacking. Perhaps he could take some striking lessons before he hides in little kids' closets.

I've never seen a bigger clusterfuck than the four-way match. The Bounty Hunters were so fat that I'm suprised they didn't need to take a hit of oxygen on their way to the ring and didn't do a damn thing in the match. The Spicollis were, well, just there and were pretty bland. Acid Inc looked like a rehash of Assault & Battery but didn't assault anyone nor did they change any car batteries. Finally, the Thugz were accompanied by local wrestling star (and I'm using that term loosely) Brock Guffman which, when I think of thugs, I think of large black men accompanied by a white guy wearing shorts and argyle socks. The match was ridiculous. Not one clean move was executed and the Thugz walked out in the middle of the match to start an angle with the aforementioned Double P. The remanining competitors finished off the match quickly with a looks of utter confusion on their faces. Kliff Hanger and Clutch had the most technically sound match of the night, mainly because it seemed like they were the only ones who were actually able to work. They worked a pretty standard match with Kliff Hanger playing a black redneck. The end saw intereference by and ICP rip-off and a goofy looking guy in a Cincinnati Reds jersey. Afterwards, we were handed an intermission that saw a photo session and bad rap music blasted over the loudspeakers. After the intermission, I'd estimate half of the original crowd left the building to pursue other ventures.

The second half began with a tag title match. The Highspot Kings were exactly that and were over extremely big. The two teams worked well together although Korrupt missed a basic moonsault by a mile. The Kings need to learn some holds and they might be able to get to the next level of area indy shows. I would've liked to see more ground work in the match as it was mostly flashy moves and highspots but I won't complain too much as it stole the show thus far. Dog collar matches are good when they have a good story and the chain is used properly (ie: Piper vs. Valentine - Starrcade 83) and this collar match failed in that respect. The chain broke twice in the first five minutes and after the second break, the competitors worked into a hardcore match complete with bad brawling and insensitive blading. T-Dogg looked like a kid who just graduated from high school and I'm not exactly sure what Loco was supposed to represent ... a convict perhaps? I hear there's an escapee on the loose. Afterwards, we get a reunion of sorts and the remaining people go apeshit for some unknown reason. Kannabis and Ricochet was for the heavyweight title and they worked a very bland match that couldn't have gone longer than ten minutes. The finish came out of nowhere and saw Kannabis grab a brick loaded purse (and I'm talking about actual building bricks, not the other bricks) and passively hit Ricochet to win the title and I'm unimpressed. The main event (and I'm using that term loosely) was a decent bout. Shock had an impressive physique and took punishment quite well including numerous unprotected chair shots that echoed throughout the tiny opera house. Lee looked like a gothic version of the Undertaker and even did a cool variation of the old-school rope walk but instead of jumping off with a chop, he jumped off with a spin kick. One big complaint I had about the match was that Shock took three hard chair shots that didn't phase him but was knocked senseless when he was hit in the back of the head with a Bible from Lee's manager priest dude. Once the show ended, everyone left so they could set up for the midnight screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. When I say "they", I mean the venue staff, not the wrestlers, although that would've been interesting to see.

15 comments:

Tim Chesnut said...

As terrible as this show was, you should have seen the one from the month before it: Russo-rific, as every match ended with a heel/face turn and/or a post match beatdown of some sort. Compared to that show, this one was Wrestlemania!

Jessie said...

completely detailed analysis...can't believe you remembered so much....please next time you go there, bring new jack with you so he can carve up some motherf***ers!

Adam said...

I was taking notes on my phone during the show and in this analysis I really tried to put the reader in the seats at the opera house. I wanted to write about this show because I thought it would be to abstract not to cover.

Anonymous said...

double p, don't let pimply faced smarks that work for peanuts at a movie theater get the best of you. They run a review site that only them and their friends read, pretending that they know something about an industry that would never embrace them because they have no respect for it... so they are stuck being bitter and writing horrible reviews about something they love.

Guys, everyone has access to a computer, that does not make you a critic or a writer. All that it makes you is someone with an opinion, not someone with knowledge.

Wicked Angel said...

I think you need to open your eyes and figure out that there are good matches in the XVW. The workers do what they are told. If that means the match looks stupid, then that's what happens. They have a creative team. And I happen to know that Double P takes most of his ideas to the ring. He is one of those people that can't take suggestions cause if it isn't his idea, then it isn't any good. He also doesn't take criticism very well. I know when he reads this I'll be hearing from him. But he needs to realize that he has alot of talent in the XVW if he would schedule the matches to show the talent. He also needs to see that there needs to be more promos than just the Legacy. There are groups in the XVW who could also do promos. I agree about the screen thing. They need to figure out how to do that without giving away who the next match is. Just because the show didn't go the way you wanted it to though, doesn't mean that it sucked. The show went over and there is alot of talent in that arena. I hope at the next show the ghost of the SORG dumps a soda on your head!!!

Brian said...

As far as having a free ticket for us for the next show, great, I know personally I’d love to audibly dissect your performance live. Double P, sounds like you believe your own hype, to all of his “staff”, I suggest you stay away from the Kool-Aid, and the hypodermic needles.

“Anonymous”? That’s a very creative name sir, congratulations on kissing Double P’s ass for all to see. If only are friends read this site, how the hell did you find it? So, according to you, what does make someone a critic or a writer? I’d like to know, since apparently you’re an expert on analysis.

Wicked Angel said...

Listen Brian. I may not be a big Douple P fan and I will admit that alot of people in the organization kiss his ass. My hubby and I aren't one of them. But he is still a close personal friend outside of the organization. And for that I can't let you sit there and do nothing but bad mouth him. I don't stick up for many. But the XVW is live in my heart. And I would do just about anything for anyone in that organization. I have to agree with anonymous. What makes you the critic that everyone should listen to? Your nothing. And your review is nothing. We will still have fans there at our next show on the 14th. 937, The Legacy, PCP (That would be your Insane Clown Posse impersonators as you called them), and many other groups will hold the attention of the fans that come there to see them. And when PCP is finally in XVW and wrestling, I hope that they spank you with there paddle, choke you with their hardcore chicken, and stuff "you suck" balloons down your throat!!!

Wicked Angel said...

Well Mr Anonymous. I'm not as stupid as you may think I am. I married into the business. I know how it all runs. Even if my dear friend Double P doesn't want to admit I do. I also know this was written by someone in the organization or else they wouldn't know that Double P is the booker. He opened my eyes with a text after my last two posts. He's right, I did put him down in my first one and claim him as a close friend in the 2nd. I was right in both my dear Precious Payne. I have many friends in the organization. Ricochet, Lil Naughty, Loco, Double P, Suzana Stone, Lenny Spicolli, Mysery, Kiljoy, Slapp Happy, Hellyon, Kannabis, Mary Jane, and the most important in my life Leo Spicolli. He by the way would be my husband!!! I'm not waiting till the next show to tell you who I am. I'm the wife of Leo Spicolli. I am also the photographer of XVW and their training organization RAM. I also have a spot in RAM once I start going to practice. I know more about what goes on behind the scenes than you think. I've watched it all. I've fed them all. I'd do anything for just about any of them.

[IMG]http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc254/jaimie_n_s/BadaBingLounge064.jpg[/IMG]

Jessie said...

Not sure if you guys realize this or not but this site is dedicated to reviewing all of professional wrestling, which by the way all of us that write here love, which your meager promotion happens to be a small, miniscule piece of it. If not for Adam attending your show and reviewing it, it would never be mentioned anywhere on any site. And I'm betting, "Anonymous", you chose to remain so because you are one of the poorest workers on the roster.

You also call our credentials as critics and writers but i ask you, sir: Just because you bought some wrestling boots from highspots and learned a couple spots from a local indy jobber, you think you're a wrestler? Personally speaking, I've been watching since I've been in diapers, and I watch it all, from across the globe, from the 30's to the present. I have more wrestling knowledge in my little pinkie than you have in your whole decrepit, drug addled brain, you whelp. If you have an issue with Tim Chestnut, who does not write for this site, then take it up with him on your own time and don't take something we take great pride in doing and turn it into another whiny blog for indy wrestlers who have nothing better to do than search the Internet for their name, praying someone is writing about them.

The Real Paul Heyman said...

This is Paul Heyman, maybe you've heard of me, you know I created ECW and revolutionized Extreme wrestling in America. I watch a lot of wrestling on youtube. I watch every kind of wrestling there is from extreme, lucha libre, highflying, old school, etc. I was searching extreme wrestling a few weeks ago and I came across an independant wrestling company that will be the future of wrestling in Ohio and perhaps America. What I've seen is great talent and good gimmicks. I also saw that they use every type of wrestling thinkable. The building doesn't look ran down, it has that old ECW theme that reminds me of the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York. The Place looks awesome for independant wrestling. They have a big screen to play videos on, the only time i see those are on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Who knows they might have had technical difficulties that night. That Double P guy, is he the booker? If he is everything must be going fine over there and he looks like he is a wrestling genious like me. That Italian guy Pauley looks like he is legit to. I heard hes an announcer for mma fighting as well. When Psycho jumped off that high balcony I was shocked myself, I can't imagine the emotional orgasm that was going on in that building at the time. The dog collar match looked pretty brutal, even though the chain broke they improvized and made it work.They look pretty awesome to me and the only reason I found this blog site is because I googled XVW. XVW stay strong and don't let haters and people who work at Meijers and never stepped foot in a wrestling ring keep you down.

-Paul Heyman

Didge said...

this is sad that this is a debate! the only reason you guys on on here is cause your looking for your own names online. if i had a dollar for everytime a indy wrestler has pimped his own shit on a forum i could buy your little fed. which would take 120 bucks! look we r fans of wrestling and i personally have worked the indy sceene from here to texas and one thing is constant. theres always someone who is better than u! so go back to your fed, do a random highspot with no psych, and call it a career! and if your wondering who i am and want to rip my skills then which im sure is your comeback then i wrestle as jc digits in ewf and i suck! see another shitty indy guy pimpin his shit!

Brian said...

God, you XVW guys are really sad, and you know it, right? First off, as my colleagues mentioned, the only way you egotistical bastards found our blog was because you were surfing around looking for an ego boost. Sorry that didn’t work out for you; instead, you got a dose of the truth. Your work is garbage—it’s that simple. For you to question our integrity or love for the business is ridiculous. With the lone exception of Adam, the other three of us have worked, both amateur and “professional” and I use the term loosely, because most independent guys these days are glorified backyard wrestlers. If we were digging your shit and giving it praise I’m sure you wouldn’t be slandering our credibility as writers. And, seriously, someone’s posted as the “real” Paul Heyman? Whoever did that is the biggest fucking loser I’ve had the privilege of laughing at in a really long time. Thanks for the chuckle you dateless idiot. Funny, how Mr. Heyman’s account just happened to appear and become registered today, right in time to “stumble” upon our blog and randomly give praise to a company he’ll surely never actually see. Go spins an Insane Clown Posse disc and jerk off to Chris Hero footage you fucking nobodies.

The Real Paul Heyman said...

Ask me any question about myself.

Didge said...

r u not a fag?

Adam said...

Alright you sniveling indy shits that call yourself wrestlers, listen up you crybabys ...

If you can't take shit than get out of the business. Everybody will critique you and I just happened to be there that night and was having fun laughing my ass off. I agree with Jessie, just because you bought some boots from Highspots and learned some basic moves from the donut munching booker doesn't make you a wrestler.

I admit to not being a wrestler and not being very athletic but I love watching wrestling and critiquing it. You people suck. If you think a bunch of whiny comments from a bunch of shitty indy workers will make me stop doing what I love, then you're wrong. You're just mad because I told the truth about the glorified backyard fed you guys hold so dear.

So, my advice to you would be to go to a legit wrestling school and learn some skills. If you do that, then you might actually get a decent grade on your matches. Double P ... don't quit your day job just because you think your fed is the shit. As far as your attacks directed towards Tim, those are uncalled for. I'm proud to call Tim a friend of mine and your guff isn't with him, it's with me.

If I ever decide to go to another one of your shows, you can rest assured that I'll rip it to pieces just like I did this one. If you want to be extreme, go wrestle for New Jack down on Warsaw Avenue and get carved up like a bitch.