1. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk – 4
2. Great Khali vs. Tommy Dreamer – 1
3. Kevin Thorne vs. Shannon Moore – 2
4. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley – 4
Holly beat Punk clean; notable mainly because it’s bound to piss off a lot of Internet idiots void of a sex life, as far as the match went, it was pretty good for five or so minutes it lasted. Khali beating Dreamer was about as big a squash as the plastic one on your Grandma’s kitchen table as part of her cornucopia. Thorne also made short work of Moore, in another basic squash. RVD and Lashley put forth a commendable effort, but ultimately, the heinous finish, involving interference by chronic masturbator Test, overshadowed their work. Tazz’s commentary was more obnoxious than usual, Elijah Burke was blasted by a unconvincing cane shot by Sandman, and that’s about all the analysis I can muster up on this rancid pile of road kill.
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