1. Sabu vs. Tony Mamaluke – 2
2. Sandman vs. Macho Libre - 0
3. Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle vs. Edge and Randy Orton – 5
I’ve officially given the “new” ECW the tagline “a new breed of prostitution.” I figured Sabu and Tony would be fun, as they’re both wirily pricks who don’t mind taking the occasional hellacious bump – instead, we got a quick squash, amounting in practically no offense for Mamaluke, and a couple badly blown spots by sloppy Sabu. The fiasco involving Sandman really chapped my ass, as they could have used this valuable TV time to, dare I say it, put professional wrestling on a fucking wrestling show? The main event was a tool serving a higher purpose, that obviously being to promote WWE’s upcoming pay-per-view offering. The action was mostly fast-paced, though; we were even treated to Orton landing awkwardly and legitimately hurting his arm. The main event’s energy was the only saving grace of another hideous episodes of ECW on Sci-Fi.