Friday, October 14, 2005

WWE Great American Bash 2005

1) Road Warrior Animal & Heidenreich vs. MNM - 3
First off, Heidenreich is not Hawk and never will be Hawk, so why must the Animal & Heidenreich be called L.O.D.? Personally, I think it’s blasphemy of the good name of the Legion of Doom. That being said, MNM is a great team with loads of potential so why did they do the title switch? That’s another reason the tag division is in such disarray, the titles switch every three months or so. Animal pins Mercury after the Doomsday Device for the win. I was shocked that they did a title switch here because I thought that MNM was starting to get momentum. While Heidenreich has drastically improved in the ring, I just don’t see the logic behind this title switch.

Steve Romero is backstage with Eddie Guerrero who was a new stipulation for tonight’s match. In so many words, he says that Dominic will be at ringside. Yeah, whatever. I hate this storyline! It would be something if the story was good and the matches were good enough to back it up. Unfortunately for us, that’s not the case and we will be force fed this garbage for the forseeable future.

2) Booker T vs. Christian - 3
There wasn’t really much story going into this one except for the fact that Booker wanted to avenge his loss to Christian on SmackDown. Oh yeah, Booker’s wife, Sharmell, is now accompanying him to ringside. If that’s an effort to freshen his character, it’s not working. These two are capable of way better. It seemed like the whole match was on slow motion. Clearly, they were not putting forth a full effort.

3) Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit - 5
Why give someone a title if you have no plans for them? I think at one time there was a plan for Jordan but once JBL’s cabinet went by the wayside, there wasn’t anywhere for him. This presented a problem since he had the U.S. Title. Another problem is that Jordan has had roughly zero ring exposure so no one knows what to expect. Fortunatley, Benoit is one of those workers who could have a good match with a broom. He carries Jordan to a semi-decent match and helps the meaning of the belt in the process. Probably the best match of the night so far. Benoit hits all of his signatures and Jordan shows a glimmer of the skills that he has. Personally, I think Jordan could be a big deal, just like Shelton Benjamin is on Raw.

4) The Undertaker vs. Muhammad Hassan - 3
Hassan’s character had been banned from television two weeks before this event so that led to very little build-up. Hassan has his mercenaries with him and they surround the ring. Was this turned into a lumberjack match at the last minute? Whatever. Tons of interference from the dudes around the ring (yes, this includes Hassan’s lackey, Daivari). Taker finally pins Hassan to end the misery. Afterwards, Taker brawls with all the mercenaries, tombstones Daivari, and throws Hassan through the stage, thus killing off the character. No pun intended. Crowd wasn’t really into it and only cheered when Taker scored on offense. Since Taker won, I guess he’s the #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Title. As if anyone really cares at this point. By the way, so far this show is only 1 for 4 in the good match department. Hopefully, the second half will make everything balance out.

Paramedics load Hassan onto the gurney and it’s time for a six-man tag …

5) The Mexicools vs. The B.W.O. - 3
This is your standard filler match right here, brother. Mexicools come out on Juan Deere’s and b.W.o. comes out on blue big wheels. Funny stuff. You know what’s sad? That was pretty much the highlight of this one. It was good to see the b.W.o. on pay-per-view. Not so nice to see them job. Next!!

6) Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero - 4
As I said before, I hate this friggin storyline! With that said, logic would say that these two could have a classic match, as was evident at WCW Halloween Havoc 1997, right? Obviously, Vince doesn’t think like you and me and thinks that cruiserweights need to wrestle like the muscle-driven main eventers. That makes for one hell of a boring cruiserweight match. The match starts off somewhat quick but then Eddie takes control and uses rest holds and stalling and rest holds and stalling. This pattern contines for the whole match! Rey finally scores the pin with a small package. This match totally killed the crowd for the rest of the show. So far, this show has been nothing but a waste of time and money. Well, there’s always the main event to save everything. I’m trying to keep a positive outlook but it’s becoming really difficult.

7) Bra and Panties Match (Special ref: Candice Michelle): Melina vs. Torrie Wilson - 0
They claw, they kick, and they strip. This one gets the big goose egg because absolutely nothing happened. Next.

8) John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista (c) - 4
This has been one of the most horrid shows on record but hopefully these two can put together a strong showing to save the show. Instead we get pretty much the same thing we got in the Guerrero/Mysterio match. Rest holds, stalling, rest holds, stalling. Then, to put the nail in the coffin, we get a ref bump and interference by Orlando Jordan who introduces a chair. Batista drills both OJ and JBL with the chair. The ref sees this and DQs Batista. A crappy match to cap off a crappy show. Need I say more?

This show was definitely not worth the money I paid for it, even on DVD. Aside from the Benoit/Jordan match, the entire show was a total disaster. Nothing of value aside from the write-off of the Hassan character happened. The entire crowd was dead by the main event thanks to the Guerrero/Mysterio match. Hmmm … I wonder if I can go back to the store and get a refund. I feel hosed. Not recommened.

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