Saturday, July 11, 2015

Rhodes/Funk vs. Flair/Luger

Dustin Rhodes and Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair and Total Package - WCW Thunder 2/16/00 - 2

The star's of the '80's (and Dustin Rhodes, gallant in leather pants that see him continually adjusting his junk) invade the 2000's in this "star-studded" main event.  The 5,500+ in attendance at the Spectrum were in for a "teat" as they suckled from the mammary gland of Russo and company. Flair looked surprisingly spry and fit especially in contrast to his TNA run where he looked like 200 pounds of sand poured into a trash bag. Funk on the other hand moves with the stealth and speed of a zombie or roadside possum after an encounter with a semi-truck. Terry dishes out some left hands that make me yearn for the combat stylings of The Miz. With black bandana and in need of a decent shave Rhodes is clearly on the tail-end of a three-day cocaine bender. I'll never tire of the way Luger sells basic back bumps by flailing backward like someone's grandma seeing the specter of her lost love the war took from her. Elizabeth sliding a bat into Lex's hands eerily calls to mind him sliding pills into hers as he allegedly assisted in her death. Total Package clobbers Dustin in the head with the bat (likely permanently erasing the memory of the past night's prostitute and diner dinner of corned beef hash) and even though Rhodes is unconscious Flair adds insult to injury by applying the FIgure Four while Rhodes' shoulders are counted to the mat.